Break My Heart

Chapter 26

a/n: i swear this is the last emotional chapter. 

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Present: 2018, NYC

"He thought that I didn't hear him when he came into the hospital room, but I did. And I also read the letter that he left under the pillow. That was the last time since I heard or saw Heath."

I wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks and gave the recording camera a sad smile. Ian stood behind it, his own eyes glossy.

I kept speaking, "For the rest of the year I was home-schooled. My parents till this day don't know what really happened. When I woke up, I told them that I was really scared for about my future and that the overthinking made me take that step.

"They sent me to a therapist after that. I told the therapist what actually happened and how I didn't want my parents to know. Thankfully, she was really supportive of me and spun lies to my parents but in reality we were trying to make me move on from what actually happened."

I took two deep breaths and then mentally started counting until I calmed down again. A trick told by my therapist for whenever I felt like a panic attack was approaching.

"I got graduated from high school and then came to NYC where I was accepted in Columbia. There, I did my bachelor's degree in psychology. My college life was not as it should've been. The first year was the suffering, the second was the healing and the third one was about me trying to move on. After that, I got an internship in one of the best mental health organizations in New York.

"I worked there as an intern for around three months. They really liked my work and gave me the job permanently once I graduated college. And now here I am, one of the board directors for our major project of this year, 'HOPE'."

I became silent for a minute and then said, "Thankyou for giving me this opportunity to share me own story. Always remember, you matter a lot."

As soon as Ian stopped the recording of the camera, he came towards me and gave me a bear hug.

I silently sobbed on his shoulder and he murmured, "You're so damn strong."

He wasn't my boyfriend. I met him during my second year in college and he bugged me so much it became annoying until I talked to him. Since then he's been my bestfriend. Our relationship was something that siblings would have and I was grateful for him. He helped me a lot whenever I had panic attacks or nightmares.

I've never fully been able to move on. Yes, their are some people who are able to move on after years but my case wasn't that. I still had nightmares and panic attacks, though not so frequent as they were in college.

We let go each other after a while and I silently went to prepare dinner for us. Once we were done eating, Ian promised to meet me the next day with the edited version of my recording for our main event.

I sat silently on my bed, staring at nothing and replaying whatever I said today. 'HOPE' was a project in which specific people were chosen to share their own stories -of course with their consent- to make people suffering realize that there's always hope in the end either they reach that goal with or without help.

A few refused because either they were too ashamed or not much comfortable which was understandable. At first I wasn't so sure myself to agree or not when they chose me, but then I talked to Ian about it and he made me realize that my story could save many people from dying and then I remembered exactly why I chose to be a part of this organization.

And now that I was done speaking, I was just anxious for the people's reaction who would be listening.

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The next day, Ian picked me up and we left together for the main event.

"I did as you said. I've edited the video and used fake names instead of real ones. But I still don't understand, why?"

My gaze went towards him, "Just because. I'm not comfortable with people knowing their names and what if there are people present who actually know them?"

He scoffed and muttered, "Who cares?"

I shook my head but said nothing.

When we reached the venue, I wiped non-existent dust from of my clothes. I was wearing a white pant two-piece set and a lace top underneath the white blazer.

My red hair were in loose waves and I only opted for mascara, eyeliner and red lipstick in makeup.

Before we entered the hall, Ian suddenly hugged me.

"You can do it."

I inhaled a sharp breath and nodded my head with sheer determination.

Let's get this day over.

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Early update!

Also, why Holly tried to kill herself wasn't because of some ungrateful jerk. She took that step because she wasn't able to handle so many truths at once after being lied about almost everything. She hadn't dealt with any kind of trauma until this happened so don't forget she has no experience of it. We readers know the context and the details that's why it's easy for us to say that she should just a be a good girl and deal with it instead of killing herself.

No, it's not that easy. So please don't be harsh on her because she didn't do that because of Heath but because she couldn't handle the emotional pain.

Hope it made sense! Vote, Comment & Follow!