Lovers and Enemies

18. Past

I sit in the truck in silence, waiting for Negan to come back. I close my eyes to create some peace, I wasnt going to fight against him, I will lose we will all lose, I just need to accept whats happening and go along with it all, until me and Daryl get out, ill do whatever is needed to get out of here. Im quickly pulled out of this thought as Negans door slams while jumping into his seat. "Hope you had fun" he starts the engine, I sit myself up and dont look over at him, I fixate my eyes on the road ahead as we go back to the sanctuary. "How old are you again" Negan breaks the silence, why does he want to get to know me. "22" I answer bluntly, still not looking at him. "You're young, and he still took advantage of that" my heart races as I realise hes speaking about Shane. I stay silent, not answering anything he was saying. "I heard you were a cop too, so why did you let him do those things", I quickly snap without even thinking "I didnt let him do anything, he just done it thats how abuse works, I was younger, smaller, perfect for him to just take control" I slam myself back into the seat as I stare at him, he remains silent the rest of the driver back to the sanctuary. 

"Come with me" Negan demands as we walk into the sanctuary, through the factory and into his meeting room where we first spoke. He pulls a chair out opposite his seat for me to sit, I cautiously sit down as he locks the door behind us, just the two of us sit in the room in silence. "I didnt mean to offend you back there" he finally spills. "How long did you have to deal with it" He leans forward on the table so hes slightly closer to me. Tears prick to the surface but I keep myself calm and hold them back "Around 8 months, when we found the prison, Shane knew Rick, they knew how he was so they helped me" I mumble as I try my best to not show im weak. "Well, I know you do not want to be here" he laughs causing me to frown "but you are safe from that sort of bullshit, we dont allow that" he sits back in his chair. "Do you have a wife, girlfriend" I shrug my shoulders at him while asking. He sits in silence for a moment, looking at his bat placed on the table. "I did have a wife" he nods his head. "Sorry to hear that" I mumble, I need to get on his good side. He looks up at me with some sort of remorse in his eyes, like he doesnt want to be doing this. "I want you to work for me" my body goes tense, unsure of how to answer. "What?" I question "You would fit in, you're a strong character". I stay silent, not answering him. 

"Dwight" he shouts as the door unlocks and he walks in. "Take her down to her cell and bring Daryl to me" I look at Negan how stares back at me. Our eyes break contact as Dwight pulls me out of my chair, shoving me out of the door. We walk down to the cell in silence as he pushes me in, closing the door behind me. I sit on the cold floor in the corner of my cell as it starts to become Dark. I could hear Daryl leave his cell, but he hadnt come back yet and it had easily been hours, my heart races as I hear footsteps approaching my cell, Im hoping its Daryl, being placed back here safe and sound. My cell door swings open as a large man stands in front of me, blocking my view out the door. "Can i help you?" I ask, looking up confused. He closes the door, trapping the two of us. "If you want to get out, escape back to your people, I can help you" I stay silent while looking up at him, I lift myself off the floor so I am now facing him. "How?" I ask while keeping my distance from him. "You do me a favour, I do you one" He steps closer to me, I have a lightbulb moment as I realise what he is talking about. "No, go away I dont need any favour" He steps closer, cornering me in my cell. "It will help" He grabs my t shirt, Ricks t shirt, and pushes me back into the wall so I hit my head.

Everything becomes a blur from the blow to my head, I try to stay focused and get him away. "What the fuck" I shout as I try push him away but he is easily triple my size. "Come on" He leans all of his body weight onto me as he shoves his face into my neck, kissing it while pulling my trousers down. "Get the fuck off me" I scream as loud as I possibly can. My heart is racing, sweat dripping down my face along with tears as I scream and claw at this man to get him off me. "Its easier if you stop fucking fighting" he spits at me while pulling my hair. "I fucking hope my eyes are deceiving me and I am not seeing what I think I am seeing" Negan shouts as he now stands at my open cell door. He lets go of me, throwing me to the ground. I breath rapidly as I try to catch my breath while sobbing and holding my t shirt. "Negan, no its not how it seems" his voice trembles as Negan stands with a knife and his bat in his hands. I look up at Negan who is looking down at me as I cry "We have rules here, and my god you know we do, Rape, that is against those rules, Hell i wouldnt want to be anywhere where it isnt against the rules" he laughs. "It wasnt that Negan" the man pleas while Negan towers over him. "What was it then Dave?" he questions, but before he can answer Negan lifts his arm, slipping a knife through Daves neck, killing him as blood pours on the ground as his body falls next to me.

Negan bends down, helping me off the floor and out the cell. Not a word is spoke as he leads me to a bedroom where new clothes lay on a bed. He leaves the room, still not saying a word. I sit on the bed sobbing into my hands, I want Rick, I want to go back. I refuse to get changed, this t shirt is all I have of Rick as of right now. The door opens as Negan re enters the bedroom. "Im so sorry" he mumbles while walking towards me. "Please" I cry "Please take me back I want Rick please" I sob uncontrollably. He stands looking at me for a moment, thinking. He bends down, takes my hand and leads me out to his truck. Just the two of us get in and head back to the prison. 

We pull up just before the gates. "You know" he breaks the silence while turning and looking at me "I would never break this easily, ever, a whole war would have to happen before I give in, you're young, been through hell already and the fact it happened in my place my sanctuary, I couldnt put you through that again" he looks at me. For a moment im not scared or intimidated by Negan, for a moment hes a human like the rest of us. I smile slightly at him "go ahead" he lifts his hand, gesturing me towards the prison gates. "Thank you" I cry as I get out and run to the gates. I push through a small gap in the gates and sprint to the doors of the cafeteria. 

I push them open and stand there as everyone is sitting inside "Alice" Rick shouts as he runs over to me, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me up. "Rick" I sob, I cant stop sobbing. I cry into him unable to stop myself. We stand for a moment just holding eachother as everyone watches in awe. "Whats going on" Maggie asks, confused on how I got back. I dont answer, I dont want to answer, I continue to sob into Ricks shoulder as he tries to walk outside with me so we are away from everyone else. "He still has Daryl we need to get him out" are the first words to leave my mouth. "Alice whats going on how did you get out" he pushes my hair out my face, running his hand across my face to wipe the tears that continue to stream from my eyes. 

"One of his men, he came into my cell while Negan was with Daryl, he tried to rape me" my voice trembles as I explain what happened to Rick. "Negan came in time, he, he killed him and I begged, I begged so much for him to bring me back, and he did he drove me back here he let me go" I hold onto Ricks hand, I finally feel safe again. "Im so sorry" a tear rolls down his cheek as he pulls me back into his brace, holding me tight. I thought I was strong, that I could hold my own but I cant, Im a broken woman, im scared to be alone im scared to go out into the world without Rick, im a nervous wreck, im a shell of a human, I need Rick.