SO WHAT THE HELL WERE WE? | 𝐃𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋

prologue.

"what the hell is your problem?" dylan brushed passed me. his body knocked against mine and i had to catch myself against the counter so i didn't fall. he didn't answer my question as he left the kitchen.

i debated on just letting him go—letting this whole conversation go, but i just couldn't. there was this part of me that was telling me to stand my ground and stand up for myself. why was i letting my best friend talk to me like that. so i did. i followed after him.

"i said what the hell is your problem?" i repeated my question using the same tone. dylan, who was in the dining room now, turned abruptly around. his eyes flashed, narrowing, and he looked annoyed.

"you. you are my problem!" his voice rose, but he didn't yell. not yet anyways. my face twisted. i could feel the punch in my gut, but i knew i had to hold myself together.

"what's that supposed to mean?" i eased off, trying not to let my voice wavier too much. he rolled his eyes this time.

"you think we have to be attached at the hip for everything. you think i can't live my life without. well guess what, i don't need you for everything. i don't need you to be at my side at every waking moment. god, i have a life outside of you, you know." his words hurt. but i didn't let him know that.

"and i get that, i have a life outside of you too. it's just the fact that you haven't—"

"really? do you? because as far as i can tell, it doesn't seem like it. all you've done since i've been home is beg and beg for me to hang out with you." all there was in his voice now was bitterness. i didn't even know what to say to that. my mouth shut and i could feel my face getting warmer.

there was a beat of silence that passed between us. i was in the entryway and dylan was by the table and we were just staring at each other. his eyes were hard and angry. mine were trying to stay composed.

"sorry then. i won't ask to hang out anymore if you feel that way." for just a moment, i saw his eyes soften and i thought that he may apologize for what he said, but then it all disappeared as quick as it came. his eyes narrowed and i knew nothing nice was coming out of his mouth.

"don't do that. don't put all the guilt on me like i've done something wrong. fuck you." and there it was. i'd never heard him say that to me before. i never thought he'd say that to me. as much as i wanted to start crying, i held myself together and bit my lip.

"yeah, well, fuck you too, dylan. i guess all this fame really is getting to your head. when people start fucking you over, don't expect me to be there for you to pick up the pieces because i certainly won't be here waiting." there was so much anger and aggression in my words. i didn't even recognize myself as i said that.

"you know what i think? i think you're jealous. jealous of me, my girlfriend, all this attention i'm getting. is that what it is?" he pointed an accusing finger at me. my face hardened and i had to turn away so he didn't see the tears finally falling down my face.

"you think i care about that? i could care less about what you're doing dylan and who you're with. all i'm trying to ask for is the best friend i grew up with and did everything with. i feel like i don't even know you anymore." he was in toronto a lot now, so i didn't see him much anymore. i didn't even talk to him while he was away. he always blew me off and this was the first time i had seen him in months. i couldn't explain how we got here.

"well we're not thirteen anymore, samy. it's time to grow up. people drift and then they become memories. you have to start accepting these changes."

"so what are you trying to tell me? you don't want to be my friend anymore all because i'm trying to hang out with you just once?" i finally turn back around to face him. he stared at me and i didn't care about him seeing my tears anymore. he shrugged, more silence falling over us.

"okay, i guess this is it then. good luck out there, you're gonna need it." i turned on my heel and kept walking until i walked out of the door, slamming it behind me. the tears fell even faster as i walked down his driveway.

and that's when everything fell apart before falling back together.