SO WHAT THE HELL WERE WE? | 𝐃𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋

girl, tell me what you're doing on the other side.

two years later.
SAMY.

when my mom's health started getting worse, the doctors started talking to me about being prepared for getting the call and her passing. they didn't know how much time she had left and they wanted to make sure i would be ready for it.

or as ready as i could be in a situation of losing your own mom.

i got the call when i was at school. the day was already dragging and as if it couldn't get any worse, it did. the classroom phone rang and i couldn't lie that every time it did my heart rate picked up. i always thought worst case scenario and it would be the call.

it turned out that time i was right. the teacher looked at me for a long time and i knew right then what it was. she didn't even need to speak a word to me before i was out my seat and the classroom in one quick move. the kids didn't even question it. i think they all knew anyway. it was funny how that worked. they knew about my mom, yet none of them ever gave me sympathy, or when they did, it wasn't genuine. it was just to act like they cared.

i couldn't decide on an emotion yet, so i just felt nothing as i walked with quick feet down the hallway. my phone was in my hands, quickly texting adysson to meet me in the hallway.

her decision to stay in vancouver with her dad actually brought us a lot closer than before. she was actually the only constant person who had been through this whole thing with me. my mom was her mom because her own was away with dylan in toronto.

adysson was in the hallway with me not even a moment later. we stopped for a brief second, no words and she just hugged me tightly. the feelings we were feeling were all the same. she knew all too well that we didn't even need to speak. i wasn't crying yet, though. i think i was still too numb to feel real emotions at the moment.

a small part of me yearned for dylan. for him to be here with us, grieving together. to just reach over and squeeze him tightly, but he wasn't here. he hadn't been for two years. i didn't know if he even knew about my mom. we hadn't spoken and adysson didn't talk to him a lot either.

adysson linked her arm around my shoulders tightly as if she was afraid to let me go. we walked like that to the office and as soon as i opened the door, i was met with a mass of sympathetic glances. i stared at the office people for a brief second, a beat of silence passing through all of us.

"samy, we're so sorry. she's gone." mrs. gustavo came towards me and embraced me into her tightest hug. this time the tears did fall because hearing it out loud, hearing other people say it made it real. it was real — she was gone.

"your aunt is on her way to pick you up. there's a bunch of things you two are going to have to go over, but just know if you ever need anything, we're always here." she squeezed my shoulders tightly and i saw her own sadness seeping through her.

as much as everyone said they hated school principals, i actually loved ours. mrs. gustavo was an absolute angel to each and every one of us. she understood it — so much better than any other principal could. i remembered the days i would just go to her and she would let me sit inside her office for hours on end. she knew how hard it was for me and not once did she ever make me feel bad about it.

"why don't you just take a seat for now, okay?" she motioned to the chairs when we finished hugging. i wiped at my eyes, nodding and went to sit down. adysson sat down beside me and it was all silent in the office. i didn't know if i loved or hated it. loved it because i could sit with my thoughts, or hated it because there was still life outside of this room that was still going, having no idea about my mother's death.

"i called my mom." adysson spoke up into the silence. i looked at her, eyes a little wide. when her mom moved out with dylan for his acting, they sort of drifted. another reason why adysson became so close with my mom and me. we were there for her when no one else was.

"she said they're coming home." adysson continued when i didn't speak. my expression didn't change from before; i was still surprised.

"they are?" my voice was barely above a whisper. suddenly, all that clouded my head was seeing dylan again after all these years. i refused to see him or even speak to him after our fight and he never made an effort either. and then he was gone and we didn't even have to worry about it.

"they're coming to help you and your aunt out with funeral stuff. she said she's really sorry for your loss." i frowned a little. mrs. kingwell had always been the sweetest soul i knew. i just wished her son was the same way.

"do you know when?" my gaze finally met adysson's. her features were set and she had a sympathetic glance just like everyone else. it killed me a little on the inside because i hated seeing the pity come from everyone, but i knew they only meant well.

"she said they're leaving tonight. they're getting the fastest plane over." my lips parted before closing them again. i gazed back to whatever was in front of me, taking in all of this new information.

my mom was dead and dylan was going to come back into my life in just short of 24 hours. processing all of that seemed impossible. it didn't even feel real if i was being honest. i felt like i was having an out of body experience and i was just watching myself from a third person point of view.

although, for some reason, my mom's voice was coming to my head from an old conversation we had. it was one of her good days and somehow the conversation turned to dylan.

"tell me again why you two don't talk anymore?" she questioned, glancing between me and the coloring book. i grimaced, keeping my eyes down on my own coloring book.

"we just..we had a fight and that was it." i shrugged, not wanting to go into it really. it was a painful memory and one i was trying hard to forget. my mom was silent for a moment before a small smile found its way to her face.

"what?" i was puzzled by her sudden mood change.

"remember the list of rules you two made up when you were like 7?" she laughed, a genuine one — one that i hadn't heard in awhile.

"yeah. of course."

"remember rule 4?" mom pushed her point that i hadn't grasped yet. i thought for a moment before slowing nodding.

"no matter the circumstances, we will always be there for one another whenever we need it."

i still didn't know why my mom was trying to make me remember that. she sat back in her bed, staring at me with gentle eyes.

"never forget that, samy. even when you think you should, don't. friendship can be this really powerful thing."

that was what was coming to my head at the moment — thinking about dylan coming back home and the broken friendship he left behind. it was all going to come back.

we were going to find our way back to one another.

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