SO WHAT THE HELL WERE WE? | 𝐃𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋

and tell, just tell me what you're doing with that other guy.

SAMY.

the past seven hours were a blur. people passed like moving cars on a highway; they were there and then they were gone. so many messages were flooding my phone saying how sorry they were for my loss. my aunt and i had spoken to five different people about funeral preparations, the next steps, signing custody papers—i could hardly think anymore. everything in me felt so numb. i don't think i had even cried since that hug from mrs. gustavo in the office earlier. i was just going through the motions and putting on the best face i could.

adysson sat with my aunt and i in the airport gate. it was nearly three in the morning, my head was resting against her shoulder, and i was passing in between sleep. dylan and his mom were scheduled to land any minute. i couldn't stop thinking about seeing him again. i was anxious, nervous, and there was a hint of excitement. two years was a long time with no contact.

it wasn't that i hated him—i could never hate someone—we just left things really poorly. the fight—we said things we shouldn't have and things we regretted—it was stupid looking back. we were newly fifteen and just starting high school. i've let go of the grudge i had because i wasn't any better than he was during that fight. it was dumb and probably shouldn't have happened, but it did and now we were here.

"are you nervous?" adysson asked into the silence. there was barely anyone with us. just an older gentleman and someone on a late business flight.

"a little bit, yeah." i sat up more, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, "are you?" she hadn't seen her mom or brother in quite awhile either.

"not really. i'd be surprised if you weren't." the younger brunette side glanced at me. my lip gnawed itself between my teeth and i flicked my gaze to the floor.

"i just don't know what to expect is all. will he hate me? will he be mad that he's even here?" i never told dylan my mom had cancer. i had found out a few months before he came back home to visit, so i assumed his mom was the one who made him make the trip back tonight.

"he doesn't hate you. i don't think he could ever hate you, samy. i'm sure he feels the same way you do right now." i knew he could never hate me, but it was still a possibility. we said some pretty nasty things to each other back then.

i noticed the slow opening of the terminal doors and nudged the girl beside me. adysson and i quickly stood, knowing people would be piling off the plane soon. my heart was beating a bruise against my chest and for some reason i felt as if i may barf.

people started coming out, mostly business flyers who didn't even give a second gaze to us. my heart was racing waiting for that familiar mop of brown hair to appear.

and then it came.

time felt like it went into slow motion as dylan walked out behind his mom. the whole airport fell away as i met his eyes for the first time in two years. i didn't even remember breaking away from adysson and my aunt, but my feet were moving towards him just one after the other. i didn't know if he was going to embrace me or turn me away. i hoped for the former because all i wanted was a hug from him like we were never apart.

he welcomed me with open arms—his going around my torso with a tight squeeze and mine attaching to his neck. the tears i didn't know i had been holding in broke down my cheeks. maybe it was the exhaustion finally catching up with me or all of the emotions i was feeling. nonetheless, i was crying into his shoulder, soaking his sweatshirt. he'd grown an impressive amount. he looked older and wiser, but he was still dylan.

"samy, i'm so so sorry." his words were genuine and that made me cry even harder.

"me too." sorry for our fight, sorry for never reaching out, sorry for your mom's death, sorry for everything. i took it to heart as i finally detached myself from him. his eyes were red around the edges and i saw the tears in them.