SO WHAT THE HELL WERE WE? | 𝐃𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋

'cause i ain't got patience to slow down the pace.

SAMY

the next few days were filled with endless amounts of chaos. mrs. kingwell and my aunt took multiple trips to the funeral home, court house, hospital, attorney's office—i couldn't wrap my head around it all. during one of their trips, dylan and i found ourselves alone together in his kitchen. he was on his computer doing online school while i did work for school here. we didn't even notice we were alone until we realized there was silence in the house and adysson wasn't bouncing around us.

my face burned in slight embarrassment as i tried not to acknowledge the silence. i think his did too but my eyes stayed glue to my paper. i was thinking about mrs. kingwell's words, but i didn't even know how to start a conversation with him. what did i say? did i act like we never fought in the first place? i was so used to just talking to him; this was foreign to me.

from the corner of my eye, i saw him get up. oh, he's leaving to avoid the silence. great. i tried not to act disappointed when he turned his back to me, but my disappointment left as quick as it came. instead of leaving, he went to his pantry. i quirked one of my eyebrows and carefully lifted my gaze. there was rummaging and then he reappeared, meeting my eyes. there was that burning sensation in my face again. i didn't see what he had in his hand until he came closer.

cosmic brownies.

i met his gaze, anxious, as he outstretched his hand so i could take one. his eyes were bright—hopeful i would take one. a small smile came to my face as i did.

dylan and i didn't fight much when we were younger. we mostly had silly disagreements that you would expect little kids to have like who ate the last cookie or something. we took those disagreements to heart most of the time though, so to make up, we would offer each other a cosmic brownie. it was like a peace offering.

this was dylan's peace offering.

"you know, i haven't had one of these in a long time." i carefully broke one side of it off. he met my gaze from across the counter, smiling and doing the same.

"i can't say i've had one either. i'm surprised adysson has kept them around." we exchanged a small fit of laughter. genuine laughter, too.

"ready?" i held my half up. dylan held his up and we both took a bite at the same time. it was our thing. i was glad it was still ours.

"how long are you and your mom here for?" i asked as i kept eating.

"as long as you need it." he didn't hesitate with his answer. a smile broke on my face, disappeared and then i looked down at my lap.

"it just doesn't feel real. i'm seventeen without parents and suddenly i have to grow up and be the adult. i don't know how to do that. i haven't even graduated high school yet." i met his gaze again. his eyes crinkled at the sides and a small smile sat on his face.

"i wish i could tell you why bad things happen to good people, but i know you'll make it out of this. i told you once when we were younger that you were the strongest person i knew after your dad left. you still are and you always will be to me." i was surprised he remembered that and i think my face said so because he chuckled.

i was nine when my dad left. the first real traumatic event i'd gone through and i still remembered it like it was yesterday. he screamed at my mom, hit her, screamed at me, and walked out without another word. i hadn't seen him since. i stayed at dylan's house that night just crying my eyes out. i was confused, angry, frustrated, blaming myself and dylan was just trying to comfort me. he told me i was really strong and that i'd get through it. he'd never seen me not get through something hard, so i should be able to get through that. his words stuck with me and i got through it. now his words will get me through this.