The Sound Hashira's Apprentice // tengenuzui x reader

Chapter 11 Part 2

The atmosphere was afflicted with the embarrassed sounds of stifled tears in the wake of Tengen's discovery.

I lingered there, trapped in a suspended moment that stretched for what felt like hours, as the weight of humiliation painted itself across my features. Any pretense of retaining my dignity evaporated, something I surrendered to within my blubbered apologies.

How else would one atone for such exposure? I even wondered to myself if the lewd thoughts I was having of the very man in front of me would have extinguished much of the shame I felt.

Time seemed to ebb on as the feeling of sluggishness wore thin, that was before I had registered Tengen's voice within the punctuated silence. I inhaled shakily to bring myself to look at him again, surprised I had any courage left to do so.

"Please Y/N... don't cry."

The look on Tengen's face was anomalous to his usual lively expressions. Knitted brows overshadowed his fuschia eyes. Eyes that had slightly paled from it's usual vibrancy, while his lips attempted to form words trapped in the confines of his hesitation. His adam's apple bobbed with the rhythm of his uncertain speech.

He shut his eyes, steadily inhaling and exhaling. A habit I've come to recognize as his way of struggling to find the right things to say. As I wrapped my arms around myself, clutching at the fabric that adorned my sides, I sought to alleviate even a fraction of the vulnerability I felt.

"Y/N,"Tengen's face was more poised this time around, catching my attention. The taut line etched upon his lips didn't dispel the youthful vulnerablity that lingered on his face; a look of creased worry remaining on his glossful eyes.

"You didn't do anything wrong. Please I hate seeing you upset like this."

Tengen's steps drew him closer, and his hands extended to envelop my wrists in a gentle grasp, as if channeling his guilt directly into my gaze.

"It's my fault. I've humiliated you because of my own selfishness. It was never my business to begin with to make presumptions. Please forgive me, Y/N."

I stuttered to find a response. Tengen's own words could not match the feeling I had burning within myself, through a cycle of guilt and shame. HE was asking for forgiveness for something I offended him with.

"I-I-"

"Stop."I blinked in surprise as he inched his face nearer to mine. "I don't want you to come up with some excuse that it's your fault either. Nor do I want you to feel bad. In fact I command you do not feel anything bad over it, Y/N."

I blinked, exasperation battling with the residue of my embarrassment. "I can't control how I feel!"

His grip on my wrists eased, ever so slightly. "Yes, I am aware."

The comment didn't sound directed towards me, but as I watched him let go and turn away, I noted it sounded more like he was directing it to himself.

"If I had any control of my emotions I would not have put you in such a situation, I wouldn't have hurt you like this."

"I'm not hurt!" I challenged. By now my tears had finally dried up, but the shame remained. "This is just really... embarrassing. And I had offended you in your own home."

Tengen seemed to scoff. "Our home. You should know that this place is your home just as much as mine by now."

He turned his head tentatively towards me. "There is no offense. What you were doing was completely natural."

A deep crimson surged across my features as he once again pointedly referenced the act I had been caught in.

"Did your parents never sit you down and have the talk?"

I frowned. I analysed his face, not trying to hide the pink cheeks I harboured as a result of his words.

"Is-is that a rhetorical question?"

The blank yet serious look on Tengen's face told me otherwise. Or at least that this was one of his little knack's of saying such things in such moments. Perhaps, he was just trying to eliminate the shame I was feeling. That was the Sound Hashira for you I suppose.

"Huh, I guess it would be improper to have such conversations with a lady unless she was arranged for betrothal. Which I suppose was never the case for you?"

Is this seriously the tangent of conversation we were having after what just happened?

"I mean, they never spoke about it to me. I did have a engagement for an engagement but that completely fell through."

Tengens brows raised an inch. "Really? And who was the guy?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, I never met him."

Tengen's arms crossed tight around his chest ass his pupils swept my face. By now he was fully facing me again, instead of turned away, staring blankly at the wall.

"And yet it fell through? Didn't take you both meeting eachother to know that marriage wasn't suited."

I frowned. "Sorry?"

"I meant for him. I doubt any ordinary guy would meet to your level Y/N. "

I mirrored his poise, bringing my arms across my own self. "Marriage is a scam to keep women in caged boxes anyway."

Tengen's hearty laughter caught me off guard.

"Is that funny?"

"No." He grinned. His signature cheeky smile plastered on his face provided me with some solace. "There is truth in your statement."

"Huh then why are you laughing?"

His hands landed upon my shoulders, exerting an unexpected pull that drew me into his embrace. His chin rested upon my head, igniting a tumultuous rhythm within my chest-a sensation as disconcerting as it was exhilarating.

"I'm just glad you're not crying anymore."

No words formed in response. My mind whirled as I struggled to comprehend the situation unraveling before me.

Tengen was holding me.

I suppose things had changed since he took me to his family's resting place. Suppressing the preceding events, I inhaled a quivering breath, returning to the fact this was the longest I had gone without seeing him. And the obvious ache in my chest from missing him formed once more. The familiarity I had had these past couple days.

But before I could fully immerse myself in the moment, Tengen withdrew, his gaze intent upon me.

"So I've been told you have been sleeping in and not doing your morning training,"

"Wha-!"

Damn did the house keepers really dob me in?