BURN OUT - niko vilhelm

II. confusion at the club

"Oh shit I'm so sorry." I said while trying to hide the huge smile that appeared on my face.
"Why are you laughing? I'm literally bleeding and it's your fault." I guess I couldn't hide it as well as I thought I could. I felt bad for him I didn't even know why I found the situation so funny, I guess it was the weed.
"Why are you standing behind the door in the first place?" I asked while stepping away from the entrance. I leaned against the dark green wall to use it as a stable point because I couldn't stand straight. The unlucky guy was looking at me confused.
"I was walking by when you hit me." I handed him a pack of wet tissues from my bag. He nodded as a "thank you" and started cleaning his face off. The wound wasn't too big, I was surprised how much blood came out of it.
"Okay I gotta go, sorry again." I apologised and turned my back on him. I started walking to the direction I came from a few minutes ago. There were so many sweaty people dancing, having fun, kissing. The view was quite beautiful actually. I like to stare at the partying crowd sometimes. There are so many stories behind the people so much pain and happiness. I like to imagine each person's life story, not in a creepy way of course.
As I was trying to walk across the dance floor without trying not to fall, I heard a loud "hey wait!" from the opposite direction I was going to but I decided to ignore it. Suddenly I felt a touch on my wrist, the touch was strong but not strong enough to be uncomfortable. I turned around and it was the same guy I almost killed with a door earlier. He led me through the people and took me to a calmer location. I didn't understand what he wanted from me maybe he wants to sue me for physical abuse.
"What's your name?" He asked while letting my hands go. I couldn't decide if he seemed harmless or scary because he was dressed in all black with long brown hair as I mentioned earlier and he had tattoos all over his body, at least where his skin was showing, and some eyeliner on his waterline and black nail polish on his nails as well. But at the same time his glance was angelic. I mean I guess I shouldn't make assumptions because he has tattoos and black clothes because I have those too and I hate when people judge me from the way I look and now I'm doing the same thing. I guess I'm no better than them.
"What do you want" I asked immediately, ignoring what he just asked. He smiled a little and looked at his boots then back into my eyes.
"I need to know your name first." I sighed as he said that. His voice changed from confident to a softer tone.
"I'm Ansa." I never liked the sound of my name it sounded weird for my ears but the meaning of this name is "trap" which I like, it makes me feel powerful. "So what do you want?" I asked impatiently.
"The way we met earlier could be a great start of a cheesy romantic movie." I raised my eyebrows and interrupted him.
"I don't like romantic movies." I said and tried to leave him behind but he pulled me back gently. I can't believe he just used the worst pick up line ever on me.
"I don't either. Actually I hate them,I never understood love and I've never felt it. Make me fall for you and then break my heart please." He said in a hurry because I think he was scared I'll try to leave again and won't let him finish. I was so confused. Why would he want me to break his heart? Or is it just some kind of game? Yes I'm sure he just wants to take me home. Normally I would be down because he's attractive and seems harmless but Manu was still waiting for me. I'm sure he's already worried or got bored and went home.
I was looking at him with a confused impression on my face but I didn't say anything. I was waiting for him to make some sense. " I'm a musician, I write songs and I sing. I've been trying to write a love song for years now but it just doesn't feel right. I really don't know what love feels like I never gave a chance to emotionally connect with a girl either. That's why I'm asking you to try to make me fall for you and when it happens, leave. Break my heart so I know what heartbreak feels like." I was even more confused than I was before. Why doesn't he get a real girlfriend and makes real connection?
"That's stupid. How could you fall in love when you know it's not real and you know it'll end painfully?" I asked as I picked up a random glass from the table next to me. It had some transparent liquid in it. As I tried to take a sip the guy I'm talking to took it from me and placed it somewhere else.
"That's dangerous Ansa." I mean he is right but I was so thirsty. He handed me the drink he was holding since we met. By the look and smell of it it was beer. I nodded as I took it from him. I took a sip but then I realised that it was just as dangerous to drink from a strangers cup as drinking from a cup that was left behind by someone. Anyways I already drank from it so there's no going back now. "And to answer your question I don't know. I don't know if it's even possible to fall in love knowing it's not real feelings from the other one. And I know it will end and I'm going to get hurt but that doesn't mean it's going to hurt less." He continued. He seemed genuine but I really don't have time for this right now. Okay I would have time if I wanted, because I'm doing nothing with my life just slowly watching it slip away in front of me while I'm doing literally nothing to stop it from happening but he doesn't have to know that.
"Sorry I'm busy and not interested." I said and tried to walk away but once again he pulled me back softly.
"I can pay."