BURN OUT - niko vilhelm

VII. going with the flow

With the money Niko has given me I can afford to stay in my apartment for another month. I felt absolutely disgusted of myself for taking the deal he offered me but there was no other way I could have paid my rend in time. I thought about blocking and ignoring him after he sent me the money but I couldn't do that to him. I'm not a complete asshole.
It's been two days since I last saw him at the pub. He only called once to notify me that he has sent the money to my bank account. I thought he was going to want to hang out with me every day or at least talk to me more often. I couldn't help but think that he has changed his mind and regrets offering me this deal. He probably lost interest after my stupid answers and thinks I'm a broken mess. Well, it's his loss. I got what I wanted, it's not my fault I'm not miss perfect like he probably wanted me to be.

It was 17:23 when I heard my phone ringing in the kitchen. I quickly put out the blunt I was smoking in my window and went to the kitchen to check who's calling.
I was surprised when I saw that Niko was trying to FaceTime me. I hesitated a little before picking up to fix my hair a little.
His hair was put up in a bun on the top of his head and he seemed a little tired but still managed to greet me with a huge smile on his face.
"Hi Ansa. Sorry that I disappeared for a few days I had some issues with the band and.. Wait, are you high right now?" he asked as the smile faded on his face. For some reason I didn't want him to know that I was high indeed so I looked down at my feet so he couldn't see my red eyes.
"No,why?" I asked quickly not breaking eye contact with my white socks as I heard him laughing. I looked up for a second just to make sure he was the one laughing and not someone in the background. "Why are you laughing?"
"You don't need to hide your eyes that's not why I assumed you were high." I looked at him with a confused impression on my face. "You're holding the phone upside down, silly."as he said that I immediately realised that he was right and I felt my face turn into the same colour as my eyes. "Are you free tonight?" he asked changing the subject.
"You tell me. You're the boss." as soon as I said it he looked almost disappointed.
"Could we please just not remind each other that I'm paying you to hang out with me? I want this to feel as real as possible." Honestly I think this is bullshit. You can't fall for someone who's getting paid by you, I don't know much about love but I'm positive that it's  not how it works.
"Yeah, I'm free what do you have in mind?" I quickly changed the subject. It's probably the best if we avoid mentioning this as well.
"I was thinking we could watch a movie or something."
"Or something. Movies are cheesy and I can't sit on my ass for two hours in an overpriced uncomfortable chair. Plus I hate how popcorn smells and I have to pee every ten seconds." He giggled a little. I don't wanted to sound rude or anything but cinemas are in the top 5 worst date ideas on my list. There's also going for a walk in the park. That's so boring and we can't even look at each other plus I'm out of breath after a few minutes of walking so it's impossible to talk. The next date idea on my list is amusement parks. Way too loud and too many kids. I like cotton candy though. Then there's dinner. I hate eating in front of others, especially if I don't know them for a long time. And the last thing is coffee dates. I hate coffee and I hate coffee breath even more so that's a big no.
"I feel like you won't like my other date ideas either. You have a strong opinion about everything,you know that?" He paused but I didn't respond. I lit up the blunt I was smoking earlier. I hate the taste of marijuana. "I'd suggest getting high together but that would be me laughing and talking nonsense and you thinking I'm an idiot with bad tolerance." He said. I like that idea a lot more. I didn't want him to come up with something else so I quickly spoke up.
"No! No! I have bad tolerance as well and I'm unrecognisably funny. I chill when I'm smoking alone but with others I literally can't stop talking so you wouldn't even have the chance to sound like an idiot cause I wouldn't let you speak." I didn't lie. Everything I said was true, it's just been a hot minute since I smoked with friends, since I cut them all out of my life.
"You're just saying that to make me feel more confident." I tried convincing him for a while. "Fine. My place or yours?" I looked around my apartment and realised it was a mess and I was not in the mood of cleaning today.
"I wanna see where you live." I said. He gave me the address and we decided on meeting there at 7 pm. He insisted on picking me up but I didn't want to bother him so I told him I wanted to walk, plus this way I'll have a little more time to get ready. To get ready mentally.
I went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Thank god I shaved last night. I wouldn't have time to do it now. It's not that I'm trying to have sex with Niko. I mean if the situation was different I would have totally fucked him the first night we met but I can't make impulsive decisions with him because he already knows my name, number and way too much about me so I have to be careful. While I was doing my makeup I was thinking about what would I do if he tried to kiss me or do something more tonight. Honestly I don't know. Sure, I wouldn't mind but what if he doesn't like that I'm too easy to get. I'll just go with the flow. Maybe he won't even try to hook up.