Beneath the scars

Chapter 20

Months have passed by quickly and so has time . In which five months I have stayed with my adopted family, I have had the best time of my life and  created so many memories. My adopted dad came home two months ago because he insisted he wanted to have a feel of home before he passed on . Mum was upset with him because she did not want to lose him or see him die at home . She claimed it will be very painful and that the memory haunt her for life but seeing how happy papa was she gradually accepted the situation   .
I was in my room writing down a poem I intended to give to Papa when I heard a loud scream . With the speed of lightning I descended the flight of stairs to come face-to-face with mum staring at Daddy's closed eyes with her eyes brimming with tears as she stroked his hair to wake him up . He looked too peaceful and quiet his skin looked pale . Mom begged for me to wake papa she continuously said " Riley , your dad doesn't want to wake up . He's mad at me for not bringing him the ice cold beer he asked for.  Tell him it's because of his health.  Tell him I'm not ready to lose him I'll go get it for him if that's what he wants . Just please tell him to wake up please." She said.  I hugged her tightly as I heard her weep on my shoulder while dad was being carried away.  A lonely tear escaped and gradually my subs filled the room.  Why did he have to go now when everything was doing great . He didn't even get to see my poem for him . I hope you are happy dad  . Dear God as Michelle Frizzel Thompson one said " if roses grow in heaven Lord please pick a bunch for me, place them in my father's arms and tell him they are from me.  Tell him I love him and miss him, and when he turns to smile place a kiss upon his cheek and hold him for a while because remembering him is easy I do it everyday but there's an ache within my heart that will never go away.     
Today my dad was to be placed six feat  under ground. There was a part of me which still could not accept this. As someone once said " If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane  . I would walk right up to heaven and bring you back again. No farewell words were spoken , no time to say goodbye. You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why . My heart still aches with sadness and secret tears flow . What it meant to love you no one can ever know. But now I know you want me to mourn for you no more ; To remember all the happy times life still has much in store . Since you'll never be forgotten, I pledge to you today a hollowed place within my heart is where you'll always stay. I cleared my tear filled eyes as I walked to the stage to read my speech . " Hello everyone. I'm Riley Essah . I appreciate you all coming out to celebrate the life of my father.  My father was an incredible person. He was not only the best role model but he did a lot of voluntary work in his free time. My dad's most notable feature with his hight.  He was over six feet tall you would think his towering presence would be intimidating but he was one of a kind and a wonderful person I learnt so much from . In his time  on earth he helps so many children through charity events and put smiles on so many faces . One important lesson I learnt from my father was to stand up for myself , to let people know what I think, to be strong to be confident and most importantly to believe in myself. After my father passed  away I found a letter he left for me.  I read. When tomorrow comes now I'm not here with you know that you are loved and always will be . When the sun rises and sets with no glimpse of me know Papa will always watch over you. I'll be your past and will watch as we move forward . I'll miss you always and every time but I have to go my maker seeks for me . A street made of gold awaits me . A world where age doesn't change and time has no value awaits me , you'll be missed always and forever . When I come to the end of my journey, don't weep for me, rather hold each other close and smile for me . You all will be missed always and forever. I ended his poem with a heavy heart . Before my dad died I wrote a poem I wanted to give to him about something I felt for a long time . In the cold white painted room stood hundreds of children in need of shelter . The act of kindness was all we needed to warm our woven heart . Out of these hundreds I was chosen and given a title worth millions.  To me you will always be my papa my guardian angel my biological mother sent to me . I'll always love you no matter what and when your time comes to leave this world I'll let you go without regret for I know you'll be somewhere better .
I don't know how long it will take me to grieve this tremendous loss. My father was the best I could ever have I'll miss my dad's wonderful presents every day and I'm so grateful for everything  he did for me even though I was only adopted . I'm so grateful for every second I got to spend with him .Thank you."
I ended my speech as the choir began to sing spirit in the sky by Greenbaum. I couldn't stop my tears I ran into my adopted mother's arms as I let my tears flow  .  One day we shall meet again papa in a world filled with only sunshine and rainbow.