Thomas And The Portrait of What Looked Like A Large Pile Of Ash

Chapter 2: The Paintless Whistler

On a Sudrian evening, Rosie and Thomas were sitting in Sudrian chairs their Sudrian shed. Rosie was knitting with Sudrian knitting needles. Thomas was reading a Sudrian newspaper. A Sudrian clock struck thirteen times. 

"It is 7:00 in the evening. We have had the supper of the coal." Rosie said at last."The coal was good. It was well mined, but they had too much oil in them. Tell the workers I do not like my coal with much oil." Thomas smacked his lips. 

"The coal was from the mine at the top of the hill. It is the best coal on Sodor. It is better than the coal from the mine at the bottom of the hill, and even better the the coal from the mine at the middle of the hill. At that is because we are Sudrian and we are really Useful Engines", Rosie said. Thomas smacked his lips.

"It says here that Oliver died.", said Thomas looking at his newspaper."The poor engine was struck by lightning."

"Oliver's been dead for four years", Rosie suddenly remembered. "I remember attending his funeral."

"Poor Oliver.", said Rosie. "I meant his wife. She too is called Oliver. Who will take care of the children? There are two of them, young ones, Oliver and Oliver. I've heard that Mrs. Oliver is going to marry Oliver, an uncle of Oliver who is happy to pay for Oliver, the son of Oliver's education. And an old aunt named Oliver is equally happy to pay for the education of Oliver, the daughter of Oliver." Thomas look visibly confused. The doorbell of their shed rang.

"That must be Percy and Lady. We must change.", they said and chuffed out.

Mavis opened the door. "It's not nice to be late.", she scolded Percy and Lady.

"Have we met before?", Lady asked Percy. 

"I traveled on Thomas' branch line to get here.", said Percy.

"Me too!", said Lady.

"I live in Tidmouth Sheds!", said Percy.

"Me too!", said Lady.

"I have a daughter named Alice who is a pretty white engine with one red eye and one white eye.", said Percy.

"Me too!", said Lady. And then they went to sleep.

"This is a lie.", whispered Mavis while they were asleep. "Percy is not Percy. Lady is not Lady. Because Percy's daughter has one white left eye and one red right eye and Lady's daughter has one red left eye and one right white eye. They are actually not married away. I am secretly Sherlock Holmes." And then she chuffed away.

"Hi, You're late.", said Lady and Percy when Thomas and Rosie arrived. Then the doorbell rang again. 

"Who's there.", yelled Rosie. She went to open the door. "There's no one there." she said. The doorbell rang again.

"Who's there?", yelled Thomas. "There's no one there! What is going on!" The doorbell rang again.

"I won't open the door this time.", said Thomas. "The first time there was no one there and the second time there was no one there." But he opened the door.

"OH MY GOSH! IT'S TOBY!", yelled Thomas. 

"Are there holiday makers for me to take?", Toby asked.

"No", said Percy. 

"Then why am I here?", Toby asked.

"To tell stories?", Lady said.

"I'll start!", said Rosie. "This is called the Bouquet, since I love romances. The fiancee gave a bouquet to his fiancee. But the fiancee took it back saying, 'I take it back!' to teach his fiancee a lesson."

"I'll go next.", said Thomas. "This is called The Fox and the Turtle. A fox met a turtle and said, "I hate you!" So the turtle pushed him into a pond. The fox began drowning saying, 'No! No! I'm not your daughter!'"

"My turn", said Toby. "The Dog and the Elephant. Once an elephant said to a dog, 'Where is your trunk?' 'Excuse me', said the dog. 'I do not have a trunk. I am a dog.'"

Mavis entered. "Here is a poem.", she said. "dedicated to Toby. It is titled The Holiday. Summertime spread across the globe. The men went on holiday. The women went on holiday. The children went on holiday. The forests went on holiday. The birds went on holiday. The fish went on holiday. The water went on holiday. The sky went on holiday. The holiday went on holiday. Everything went on holiday, went on holiday, went on holiday!", she finished as she was shunted out by Rosie.

"Well, I must leave now.", said Toby. "Goodbye everyone. and by the way, the paintless whistler"

"She wears her paint in the exact same style.", said Rosie. 

"Goodbye!", called out Mavis, blowing a kiss.

"Edward was a tank engine who lived in a small station on the Island of Sodor!", said Thomas.

"Gordon is green, Henry is blue, I am stupid and so are you!", said Rosie.

"I am the ugliest engine on Sodor and everybody hates me!", said Percy.

"Muggles are filthy and should die!", said Lady.

"Britt Mitton!", said Rosie and Lady.

"David Allcroft!", said Thomas and Percy.

"It's not that way, it's over here!", they all said in unison. Then the light went out. When they came back on, Percy and Lady were sitting in the exact same spots as Thomas and Rosie at the beginning of the chapter. 

"It is 7:00 in the evening. We have had the supper of the coal." Lady said at last."The coal was good. It was well mined, but they had too much oil in them. Tell the workers I do not like my coal with much oil." Percy smacked his lips.

"The coal was from the mine at the top of the hill. It is the best coal on Sodor. It is better than the coal from the mine at the bottom of the hill, and even better the the coal from the mine at the middle of the hill. At that is because we are Sudrian and we are really Useful Engines", Lady said. Percy smacked his lips.