in which love is imperfect and hard to last forever.
"i'll keep waiting for you."
life is about loving and letting go of people, and y/n knows what it feels like to be left behind. her life unfolds mysteriously and she isn't sure of what her future...
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it's always the same person that brings back different memories, sunoo thought to himself. he was missing you badly. god.. he would've done anything to steal a single glance of you, he just wanted to hear your voice again.
it wasn't like him and jungwon weren't in the same situation. "you feel like a dream, except reality is slowly slipping in." sunoo whispered, looking at your window with his head laying on his palm.
his wrist was hurting, but as long as he could still wish for you to appear in his sight, it was fine. he spent his days waiting for you, but you had left him hopeless. you never stood in front of your window, you never went out of the house like you used to.
"is she okay?"
both sunoo and jungwon thought the same thing, except jungwon worried more about you. jungwon liked you because you were his universe, but sunoo was obsessed. it wasn't the same thing even if it appeared similar.
jungwon was genuinely worried.
he was hoping you weren't waiting for another man, but of course, he wasn't the one in your mind. but it didn't matter if his feelings weren't reciprocated, because that way, he could like you forever, and his heart would just break by itself.
jungwon looked at the door of your house, thinking if he should knock on it. he was holding your favourite scarf. it was the same scarf jungwon had made you for your eighth birthday, and eight years before the car crash. a smile grew on his face.
"y/n, what do you want for your birthday?" jungwon asked excitedly. you smiled and pouted your lips, thinking hard on what you wanted to receive from jungwon. "i want a scarf!" you answered with a bright smile, earning a giggle from jungwon.
"i'll make it for you, then!"
"really? you'll really make one for me?" you gasped, amazed at how jungwon sounded so professional. "of course i will! i'll do anything for you, y/n." he said, smiling as his dimples appeared. the both of you laughed together and embraced each other, falling onto the ground with your backs.
"i'm happy that we're friends, jungwon."
he stared at the floor, smiling to himself. "i'm happy if you're happy." jungwon let out a sigh and knocked on the door, causing heeseung to stand up immediately. "who could it be?" he thought to himself, twisting the doorknob. he gasped when he saw jungwon stand in front of him.
"jungwon, my boy!" heeseung exclaimed with a bright smile. hearing the words "my boy", jaeyun walked up to see who heeseung's boy was. my boy, ey? i'll show him who- oh. jaeyun saw jungwon stand at the doorstep with a scarf around his neck.
"who is this?" jungwon asked, pointing at jaeyun. "he's just a friend!" heeseung answered as smile made its way to his face. "i'm just a friend!?" jaeyun yelled in shock, slapping heeseung's arm. oh god. "no that's not what i meant! i mean, yes but then again no!"
jungwon chuckled at the older boys and walked away, leaving them to continue quarrelling. he walked towards your room and wrapped his fingers around the doorknob, about to twist it when he heard soft sobs from the other side of the door.
just that slight sound had concerned him badly, you weren't crying about sunghoon, right? jungwon knocked on the door, "y/n, are you okay?" he asked, causing you to pause. "j-jungwon?" you called out, immediately standing up and unlocking the door for him.
you looked into those familiar eyes, feeling the veins around your heart clench it tightly. "where were you?!" you yelled, wrapping your arms around the boy in front of you. jungwon was the boy who had always been there for you.
he was that shoulder you could lean your head on, he was the diary that you could rant to, he was just perfect, but you didn't deserve him. you were imperfect and the opposite of him, but jungwon loved that. imperfect was the missing piece of him.
"why are you crying?" jungwon chuckled at the evident tears following one another down your wet face. using his thumb to wipe them away, he smiled. the way you could still look like such a dream while crying was unbelievable, or maybe you were perfect to yang jungwon, the perfect boy.
you held his hands close to your face.
pain dissolved into joy. it had been too long since jungwon got to see you, not to mention feel your touch. heeseung and jaeyun looked at the both of you from the front door, "she didn't let me in but she let jungwon in?"
jungwon stared at you as you wetted his hands with the almost dried tears on your cheeks. he couldn't look away, even when the tears on his hands felt a bit weird and irritating. feeling as if someone's eyes were on you, you looked up.
"is there something on my face?" you sobbed, cupping your cheeks. jungwon shook his head, "there's nothing, i just-" before he could even finish his sentence, you rushed towards the small vanity in the corner of your room.
jungwon let out a silent sigh. he didn't want that hour to end. he just wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, even if you would leave him one day. jungwon's small heart wasn't ready to lose someone he loved, he didn't want you to lose your life to a cancerous tumour.
"lee y/n, why can't you reciprocate my feelings?"
"slowly but surely, you're crippling inside."
"could you let me hold you again?"
"i don't think i'm ready to say goodbye."
"could you bless me with a farewell formula?"
"don't leave me, don't cry over someone else."
"i'm hurting too, y/n. i'm hurting for you."
"i don't want to be selfish, thinking that one day, you'll be mine."
