Is it true?~ Reece Bibby

15~What have i done?

MEGAN POV
My heart felt like rubble, iv never known pain like this in my life. Everything seemed so empty know and I didn't actually know what to do. I felt I couldn't speak to anyone, because I just constantly felt angry. Food made me feel sick, so I tried to stay away from it. Sleep was the worst. I'd close my eyes and he would be there. His wild blonde hair, his ocean blue eyes, his stupid smile. All the things I loved about him would appear and it frustrated me because I knew I could never see him again, but just seeing his face reminded me off all what he did and it angered me, hurt me. But seeing his face reminded me off all good things about him and us. I was confused. I wanted to erase him. Stop this recurring pain. But I didn't. This idiotic boy, that has given me so much hassle, iv told him to leave me alone, yet I can't. He stays as a distant memory. Which haunts and hurts me, yet makes me smile. The most confusing thing my mind has ever had to put up with. Love.

I had to keep as normal as possible but it was difficult, people would try to talk to me but I could never find the words to say, like the oxygen was getting kicked from my lungs, which frustrated me because I had so much to say. I couldn't get angry at my friends, I'd just have to walk away. Distancing myself from everybody. Even Charlotte who once upon a time I could spill everything to and know after one stupid boy I can't say a word. I'm like a mute. Everyone around school look at me asif I'm walking dead. I feel like walking dead. My dry eyes constantly droopy from lack of sleep. I don't think there's a cure for me...

I got in from school one day and headed straight up the stairs to my room. Just before reaching the landing a sweet voice called me down from the living room. My Mams voice. "Megan could you please come down" I pulled myself down the stairs. "Mam honestly I just want to sleep!" I whined when I reached the living room, but straightening myself up when seeing my curly haired friend Charlotte sat next to my mam. "What?" I asked confused of the circumstances I had just walked into. "Meg we're worried" my mam said "About what?" I asked curiously. "You!" Charlotte snapped. "Me? I'm fine..." I said clinging onto the door as I lost my balance. "Meg you can't even stand!" She protested. I just looked away. Charlotte knew me to well. "I'm fine" I got out. "But you're clearly not fine Megan! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror!?" I kept my head down. "Is it the school work Smeg? Is it two much because I can talk to your school?" She said with pure innocence in her tone. "No mam! I'm fine!" I protested "Megan! You don't sleep, eat, talk, how do you expect me not to worry?" She said. "I'm sorry" I weeped. Walking away from the situation, I couldn't think of anything else to say. I made my way back upstairs and sat at the end of my bed, forcing my eyes to stay open. I couldn't face seeing his face at that exact moment. I played some music, trying to calm myself when a knock form my door echoed through me and my best friend walked in. She sat down on the end of the bed next to me. "Megan! I know that school work hasn't got to much because your the only one in lessons that has finished all her assignments and coursework. It must be something else?" I sat quietly not looking at her. "Something big if you're not sleeping or eating because there your two favourite things..." I kept my lips shut and my eyes started filling up. I wanted to shut them and let darkness just take me away, but by doing that I would see Reece and I just couldn't hack it. "Something big if you can't tell your best friend..." Tears started trickling down my face. "... and I'm guessing it has something to do with Reece." I nodded allowing more tears to escape. "Megan why can't you talk to me?" "Because if I say it allowed it makes it even more real and it hurts enough like this!" I sobbed "What is it?" She questioned sounding worried. "We broke up!" She was gob smacked but before she could answer with why I continued. "He cheated on me!" Her facial expression changed from shock to fuming with the click of a finger. "He didn't tell me Lotte, I got sent a photo! And when I confronted him he couldn't look at me!" "Who sent you the photo?" I was a bit shocked I'm sitting here sobbing my hear out about what Reece has done and she's more interested in the me new pal!? "I don't know? Iv never seen the number before" I said she shook it off. I fell back on my bed. "its like Stan all over again" I huffed "No Megan, you didn't starve yourself and deprive your self from sleep for Stan!" She moaned. "So what's with the no eating and sleeping then?" "Sleep... shutting my eyes he's there..." "what?" "I know it's stupid! Seeing him just angers me, seeing his stupid lovely face" I smiled. "Reminding me of what he's done! Reminding me how he broke his promise after I told him about Stan! ... But I don't want it to go..." i trailed off. "Wait. What?" Charlotte said. "Its the only thing iv got to remember him. It's stupid and cringey as fuck, but I can't speak to him because I just can't iv said all I wanted and I told him never to speak to me again! But I don't want him to go. When this goes I'll be all alone..." I stated to cry again. "Meg you won't ever be alone!" Charlotte hugged me tightly. "Food?" She then continued. "What?" "Why haven't you been eating?" She added rather sternly. "After everything I lost my appetite, everything made me feel sick." "Meg have you seen yourself?" She said rather quietly. "Of course I have!" I protested. "No properly!" She snapped. She pulled me up so we were both facing my long mirror. "Well maybe I don't put as much make up on" I said not paying much attention and shaking the image away. "No Megan look!" Charlotte said grabbing ahold of me, forcing me to look in the mirror. I stood shocked as I looked into the eyes of this sad young girl standing opposite me. Her eyes red and deep, able to see the shadow around them, ageing them. The girls cheek bones prominent to go along with her collar bones. Her clothing drowned her. She looked so weak and feeble. I placed my hand out to help this weary girl, however she did the same action. I looked straight into her eyes, her tired eyes, full of pain. This was me. Tears erupted. What have I done to myself?