City Wall | K.Sn

| 29 |

I gasped for air as my eyes shot wide open, feeling the tight embrace around me as my body tensed completely.

"Shh, it's alright," Sunoo's voice was soft as I realized how tightly I was holding onto his shirt, while he sat up leaning against his wall with me in his arms.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I slowly let go of his shirt, "did I wake you up?"

"I couldn't sleep," he excused with the shake of his head, "I was reading."

I hummed with a small nod before letting out a deep sigh and patting my wet cheeks softly, trying to dry away my tears. 

"Here let me," he softly spoke and pulled my hands away from my face.

Sunoo turned on his bedlight lamp behind him, leaning down to my face before carefully wiping away the wet patches on my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. The concentrated look on his face would make you think he was in the midst of creating the most beautiful sculpture.

"There," he breathed out before sending me a small smile, "better... you think you can sleep again?"

"I don't know," I murmured and stretched my arms up above my head, having my back crack a few times.

"It sounded like quite a bad nightmare," he remarked and slid down under his duvet, laying beside me with a hand shoved under his head, "you wanna talk about it?"

"What exactly happened?" I questioned him hesitantly, to which he softly smiled.

"You started by tossing and turning quite a lot, stealing the duvet," he shrugged, "then you began whimpering, I think you were calling out for your mom maybe... When you began crying I held you and you immediately clung onto me as if I was going to leave," he softly excused and I quietly hummed with a small nod, "you really miss your mom?"

"She's dead anyways," I whispered and he softly hummed before brushing my hair out of my face.

"Remember what I told you about my mom?" he questioned and I quietly nodded at him, "do you wanna hear what I have to say?"

"Will it make me cry?" I questioned and he let out a small laugh.

"Maybe," he admitted, "but if you do I'm here to comfort you again."

"Okay, let me hear," I hummed and he smiled softly before scooping an arm under my waist to pull me closer to him, "when my mom left, I was devastated as well. Dad became depressed, and I was left alone to just take care of him. The years wasn't the easiest, there was a time where dad almost turned alcoholic had it not been for you."

"Me?" I questioned in disbelief and Sunoo quietly nodded.

"When you helped that family over the wall, the one with Seojun," he clarified, "when I brought Seojun up I think dad got to his senses."

"I only helped Seojun, I killed the rest," I reminded him and he simply shook his head.

"You helped them," he stated, "if they were willing to try and escape, knowing they could be killed... I think they'd rather be dead than continue living in the East."

"Hm..." I quietly hummed before just looking up at him, "what happened to you then?"

"After you?" he questioned and I quietly nodded, "I think when I met you I already had come to terms with mom's abscence. But I still missed her. I think... or I believe. That because my mom is not here anymore I've been given you to keep me sane and happy."

"Eish, shut up," I complained and tried turning away from him only for him to pull me back.

"I'm serious Lin," he softly spoke, "I really believe that."

"Stop," I whispered, "I am nowhere near you mom. I know I don't know her, but by how you turned out I know she's amazing."

"She was," he nodded, "so are you... you keep me happy and sane."

I hummed quietly as he smiled softly at me before leaning over and kissing the tip of my nose, rubbing my back softly.

"And I know the situation is all weird right now, and it is not optimal. But I know we can get through it, and when we reach Christmas you'll have the most wonderful experience you could even imagine," he pointed out and I let out a small laugh.

"I don't have any money to buy presents though," I reminded and he quickly shook his head.

"You don't have to have anything ready for us for Christmas, the thing that is important is that you're happy," he pointed out and I smiled softly, "now tell me... the dream, what happened?"

"I don't know if it's anywhere true to reality, I only ever heard rumours," I shrugged before rubbing my face in my hands, "basically... I think I dreamed of mom's incarceration... what they did to her... when the shot her..."

"It's bad isn't it?" he questioned and I quietly nodded, "even by the way they've been treating you... I can't imagine how they treat their prisoners."

"I think I just wanna sleep again," I whispered and he quietly nodded at me, "can I hold onto you?"

"I was done reading anyways," he hummed with a small nod, "I was the moment you began tossing and turning... come here," he softly spoke and loosened his grip on me."

I immediately moved closer and wrapped my arms up around and behind his neck as I threw a leg over his hips to tangle his legs in mine. Once my head laid on his chest I let out a deep breath of relief.

"If any mean dreams come again you just hold onto me tightly, alright?" Sunoo questioned and I nodded at him, "I'll be your safe haven. So whenever you need to feel safe just come and cage yourself in my embrace, alright?"

"I'd like that," I nodded with a small whisper.

"Sleep well," he whispered as the light turned off and a small kiss was pressed to the top of my head, in my messy hair.