You're In My Mind

3 - "The Close-Eye-Talk-Thingy"

I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling with a bubbly smile. Had I really just spent the whole day (or minutes in the real world, I had realized when I came back and it was still the afternoon) with a complete stranger in the most beautiful place I had ever been to, and actually had fun? Impossible. I hadn't felt this buoyant since before this cloud of sorrow followed me like a shadow everywhere I go.

A quiet knock sounded from my door. "Morgan?" I heard my mom's loving voice call.

I sighed, sitting up and fumbling with my hair. "Yeah?"

When she opened the door, she gave me the look. The same pity I've had to deal with since the day I was found. "Umm. . .How are you feeling?" She smiled and sat on the bed next to me.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Morgan, I've been worried."

"Mom-"

She interrupted, "I can always get in touch with your counselor again? Susan? I know you liked her, right?" She gave me a convincing look, concern laden in her eyes. 

"Seriously, Mom. I'm okay. Actually, I've been feeling a bit better recently."

"Really?" She said softly, an actual smiling threatening to illuminate off her lips.

"Mhm, Mom. I know I haven't been the best daughter, and you and dad don't deserve any of it." I admitted, hanging my head low in guilt.

When I looked up, her expression changed. She looked instantly shocked, a hint of hurt in her eyes. "Babe---you don't honestly think any of this was your fault? Morgan, honey, me and dad don't see you that way at all. We both understand what you've been through, and we understand why you close off, and that kills me. Babe, it kills me to see my baby girl like this. You're the one who doesn't deserve any of it." She said, her voice about to break.

"M--Mom-" A tear fell down my warm cheek, I couldn't form the words to express how much I loved her. How was I so blessed? They don't think I'm a disappointment. But what hurts the most is far beyond my feelings, it's about my parents'. I was torturing them day after day. Whenever they look at me, they see the broken girl who was kidnapped and abused. They see me as so fragile if they ever even moved, I might flinch, I might breakdown. I had to be  putting them through so much, especially with the extra homeschooling. 

She took my hand, forcing me to meet her glossy eyes. "It's okay. I understand. If you ever wanna talk, just call," She got up gracefully, and glided to the door, "love you, M'."

I smiled warmly, filled with this deep emotion of sadness and great compassion. One day, I want to be exactly like my mom. She's stronger than I could ever be for myself. "Love you, too."

~Flashback~

It was a beautiful afternoon, the sunset perched just over the city skyline. I admired the bustling scene around me at the local park, children of all ages laughing and frolicking in the fall leaves. I smiled. A slightly chilly breeze swept through my hair, and I held my coffee close in my icy hands. Out of the corner of my eye, a group of teens parked their car and walked off towards one of the nearby shops, each of them clearly enjoying themselves. Soon will be my fifteenth birthday, and mom said she'd teach me all about getting a permit. One day soon I could drive around with my best friends, without a care in the world. I sighed, one day. Four months and twelve days, but whose counting? 

I wistfully left the park, strolling along the sidewalk on my brief two-minute walk home. Ah, the sunset. It was clearly visible now between each scattered building, welcoming the night. I had always thought the city was prettiest at this time, when everything was serene and still.