But One Star of All

Sixth Entry - Separate Battles

About four years later the threat of Sauron had grown too great to pray away or fight off as individuals. All able fighters had been called to fight in a Last Alliance against him and his growing hordes. I agreed with this.

I did not agree with Thranduil's decision to take all of our Guard we could spare and leave me behind.

"You are about to wage war against one of the most powerful and most poisonous beings Arda has ever had the misfortune to bear and you would leave one of your most exceptional fighters behind?" I shouted at him. When our arguments were legitimate they tended to lack moderate volumes. If we fought the whole mountain knew about it. "Have you lost your senses?"

"Who else shall I leave behind to take command of the Guard while we are gone?" he shot back. "What is left of the royal family is going to war-we must leave someone we trust behind to defend our homes while we take care of the rest."

"Are you to lead me to believe that your father the king chose me, the head trainer of your soldiers but a woman of no particular standing within either the Guard or the army, to tell your people what to do while you are off killing yourselves?"

"Just because you are not a commander does not mean you do not have the necessary skills or knowledge to do so."

"By all the unholy hells, Thranduil, you will never convince me this was not your doing!"

"Then feel free to believe that it was!" he bellowed back, throwing his arms out to his sides as he gathered the remainder of his armor. "Whether or not you believe me does not change our decisions."

I quieted. "Whether or not I believe you changes who I am willing to love."

He glowered at me. "Then carry on losing faith in me and feel free to forget that while we may leave home to meet the enemy, the enemy may well yet come to us. Believe me or not, but our home is our first priority, and that is our cause for leaving this realm's best fighter to defend it." He lifted his swords and stalked to the door. I stepped sideways to block it and made sure to block the handle. He grit his teeth together as he waited for me to make my final point.

"I'm sorry that did not actually occur to me."

His shoulders dropped and he rolled his eyes. "Dear gods above, Nelide, must you always be difficult?"

"Apparently so."

The air around us seemed to settle and sigh. I grinned up at him as he made his best exasperated expression at me. At last though he seemed to forgive my habit to jump to the worst conclusion, as was I believe evidenced by how he then settled a hand in my hair, turned my jaw up and kissed me.

I found it was very difficult to kiss goodbye someone whom you well knew you might never see again. Just because I had never wanted to love this man did not mean I had succeeded. Just because I had never wanted to love this man did not mean I would not fall if he did not return home. "Be careful," I said as at last he had to lift his head.

"You never do when I ask you to."

"I have not yet gone to war against evil incarnate."

He tipped his head. "True." He ducked to kiss my forehead once and I let him open the door, taking his swords from him because his hands were already overfull. He rolled his eyes at me as we trotted down to the entrance at which our army was amassing.

And then I had to say goodbye to him. We had of course parted on countless occasions before, but this was the first time at which a genuine threat existed, one which may bar one of our returns to the other. When our army disappeared through our massive trees I vanished back into our mountain and sought out the documents Thranduil said he had left for me.