Yin or Yang

Reminisce

Chapter 26: Reminisce

His POV:

Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes turn into hours. Hours turn into more hours which turn into days then weeks then months which turn into years. I couldn't help but lay there and think of all the time that had gone by.

Three years. Three beautiful years. The best three years of life. I couldn't help but feel like I wasted them but then again if I could go back in time I would do it all again. Even if it all ended the same way. The both of us left broken and scattered in different places. Just to have that feeling that I once felt would be a dream come true.

*Knock*

I turn my head to see a tall blonde figure's head poking through my room door. 

"I'm going to Mike's house to hang with the rest of the gang if you want to join us?" He smiled. I turned my head back up and stared at the white ceiling in my room. I didn't have to think of whether or not I wanted to go because I already had an answer that we both knew. "No thanks but have fun" I said, continuing staring at the ceiling. "Okay there's food in the fridge if you get hungry" he says before closing the door.

I layed in my bed and waited till I heard the front door close. I slowly got up and walked to my guitar that was hung on the wall next to my desk. I grabbed my pen and book along with my guitar and went back to the position I was once in. I began strumming some strings but I just couldn't find a tune which isn't a shocker since I haven't been able to write properly since our break up.

Instead of continuing to waste time I got up and headed for the kitchen but as I walked down the hallway I noticed the door that was onced locked for three years was left slightly cracked.

I haven't been in there since we broke up. If I'm being completely honest I have been avoiding this room for years but for some odd reason I couldn't bring myself to walk past it like I have always dones. I couldn't help but remember all the memories made in that room. I couldn't bring myself to be in that room again.

I stood there staring at the door that she had wrapped in a galaxy wallpaper that she had bought on Amazon.

"Can I ask you a question" a sweet voice coming from the body laying on my chest say's.  "I'm all yours" I smiled. The room went quiet which is normal for us. "Do you ever think that our past may determine our future?" she says looking up at me. I looked at her in confusion as to what she could possibly be hinting towards. Unlike Ari I wasn't much of a deep thinker or overthinker.

Well that was until we broke up, that's a different situation.

"I don't think so but why do you ask?" I looked into her beautiful eyes that were filled with sadness and somewhat fear. "It's just we are both in different places in our life and like over previous history we just never clicked and never connected until now which sort of scares me because I just can't afford to lose you" she says before cupping my face. She then takes her right thumb and strokes it gently across my face. I looked down at her with a smile. "You could never lose me because I'm not going anywhere, I will always be here" I told her. "Do you promise?" she says, hiding her face in my neck. "I promise Ari" I said before placing a gentle kiss on her head.

She called me a liar but If you think about it I never lied. In her mind she lost me but in reality I was the one who lost her over something so stupid yet so folish.

But the past is the past and it's best I keep it that way. I walked to the living room and sat right at the piano and began playing. Or should I say I tried to play.

"Damn it" I said, slamming my head on the top of the piano. Maybe I shouldn't have done that cause it hurts.

Why can't I just forget her and move on with my life? Why can't I just carry on with my life like she has? Was Princeton right? Does she hate me as much as she hates him?

"I need to get her out of my head" I said to myself. As I did everyday since we called it quits. No matter how hard I try I just can't give up on her. I can't forget. I can't move on. Or maybe I just don't want to.

Has she moved on? Has she replaced me with someone else? Is she truly happy? Has she found the happiness she has been craving? Has she found love in someone else? Does that love feel the same to her?

So many questions but no one to answer them.