Book 1: Brutality

Fear

Happy birthday to the best best-friend I've ever had — AkoOku

9

"I'm not scared of snakes...I'm terrified of them." — Deji

~Trigger Warning~

A pale hand clasps around her wrist in a bone-crushing grip. Her eyes widen in abject horror as the light, slightly brightened, reveals another hand that holds the light in its palm. He had created the light to lure his prey, amusing himself at her futile endeavour to reach what she thought was safety.

The blood drains from her skin as she sees his face, she knows who it is. Flawless, pale skin and an aristocratic face adorns the Demon, Barathalion, in front of her. Even in the pitch-black darkness of the void, his empty eyes somehow seem twenty shades darker than the surroundings. A cold, empty blackness that casts a shadow on the darkness itself.

'Please...please,' she whimpers, 'just let me go...I just want to go home, I just want to see my family.'

'You do not have a family,' he replies callously. 'They left you when I took you.'

'You belong to me,' he declares. 'I own you and no matter where you go, no matter what you do, I will be inside your mind, inside your very soul.'

'And because I am inside you,' continues the Demon, the black pits he has as eyes disregarding her agony. 'You cannot escape me.'

'And because you cannot escape me, I will be seeing you tonight,' he concludes.

He is playing with her like a doll, for no better reason than he can.

The pressure intensifies and she is torn apart.

~XxX~

"Xara," he growls. "Don't fight me, Xara."

And then I know true fear: a howling terror that tears at my insides, horror ripping through my soul. My slippered feet scrabble at the earth. I yank even harder, throwing my whole body away from him. I open my mouth, taking a breath to scream.

"No!" He cries, and makes a stabbing gesture at my throat. "Silence."

I feel the spell leap on me and take hold. Silence. And now, even though my mouth is open and I'm screaming as hard as I can, nothing comes out. My vocal cords are frozen, my voice imprisoned.

I can't make a single sound.

"Yes." Barathalion's face is livid now, monstrous. I've never seen such naked lust, such soulless hunger. "Yes, silence. Don't make a sound, Xara. Don't ruin it."

Please, someone come — anyone, even Curuion! But no one comes and now Barathalion is dragging me to the ground. So strong, so large, his clawed hands are everywhere, tearing my dress. Oh! The dress Myriil paid so much for, it's ruined now and I'm on my back while he's kneeing my legs apart and pulling up my skirt-

I scream, but no sound comes out. Barathalion's spell is a vice, tight around my throat. I claw at his face and he laughs, eyes gleaming like a beast's in the moonlight. I look around frantically for a weapon, a rock even, but there's nothing to hand, and then-

I choke on the pain as he stabs into me. Over and over, my head knocking against the ground, my back scraped raw as he stabs into me, moaning and whispering my name. I stop trying to scream, I stop trying to fight as I lie quietly, brain an utter blank canvas while he thrusts into me and I can do nothing. Nothing.

At last, he withdraws, pulling out of me. It hurts almost as much as the penetration. Gasping, he rolls over, panting hard. I roll away from him, drawing my knees up to my chest. That brings another flash of pain and I let another soundless cry.

This can't have happened, this can't be happening. Please, let this not be happening.

"Xara." I convulse, trying desperately to break away as his hand takes the bare flesh of my arm, but he holds tight. He rolls me over, forcing me to face him. His eyes are golden, heartless and shining. "I lay this geas on you, Xara," he says, low and hard. "That, by neither word nor deed, will you let anyone, in either world, know of what has passed between us tonight. Ever."

And the second curse takes hold, settling in my bones like an ice-cold fever. I sob, silently and barely notice as he stands and walks away, back to the party.

I try to sit up, but agony flashes through my abdomen. I fall back, crying out, but no sound comes. My stomach roils, hot chaos, and I roll over to vomit. I vomit like I've never vomited before, even back when I killed that faerie. 

I vomit until only a nasty thin bile comes forth and the finest food of Faerie lies splattered on the ground, reduced to slime, foul lumps and vile-smelling liquid.

My eyes are blurry with tears but I can't make a single sound. I try to call out, Ari! Naela! Keya! But their names don't emerge, only voiceless air passes through my moving lips. The tears roll down my face. Mommy. Daddy.

Above me, the moon glows glorious in a field of dagger-bright stars. I hate it. I hate the moon, the stars, the night sky, the gardens and the velvet shadows. How dare they be so lovely when this happened?

I have to get away from the moon. I can't stand but I drag myself along the ground. I crawl beneath a large moonflower bush, its blossoms softly glowing, and curl up into a ball in the dark hollow underneath, tears soaking my shirt. I hurt. Inside and out, I hurt.

The night whirls around me. Again, I see Barathalion's beautiful, bestial face. Again, I feel his savage thrusts. The sensation of being stabbed by a knife, laying me bare, tearing open my body, stabbing into my soul. I feel so dirty. How is it possible to feel so filthy?

I should get up, I have to get up. But now, nothingness is welling up, like black water rising and I welcome the feeling, erasing my thoughts, erasing my being. Naela will be so angry about the dress but now the darkness is rising and if this is death, then let me die.

~Fun Fact~

Goosebumps are meant to ward off predators.

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