Book 1: Brutality

Family

18

"The most important thing in the world is family and love." — John Wooden

~Trigger Warning~

Barauil and Seiveril, the goblin twins, arrive with stolen goods, flipping like a pair of demented acrobats through the branches to rattle down to Valindra's front door.

"Oi!" shouts one. "We have salt."

"Tons and tons," agrees the other, shaking the round paper canister like a rattle. He laughs and shakes it some more.

"Oh, and this too," says the first — Barauil? He hands me a heavy book with a white cover. Awkwardly, I balance it in one hand while Lindor stirs in my other arm. I look at the title: The Big Book of American Sign Language.

"Got some good stuff in there!" Seiveril makes some strange hand signals and they both collapse, laughing.

"Right, boys," says Valindra, somewhat breathlessly, as she takes container after container of salt. "Tell Edhelel we got the goods."

"Will do!" Cackling, they zip back up the Tree and away.

"Those two..." Valindra shakes her head after them. She looks at one of the cans and frowns. "I wonder why that girl is spilling salt on the ground?"

I shrug. I'm already sinking to the ground, ready to flip through The Big Book of American Sign Language.

Valindra goes to put the salt away before coming out and taking Lindor. She crouches beside me as I look through the book. It's a sunny day and Valindra's white roses are breathing a heady scent. "Looks like the twins were right for once," she says grudgingly. "That will be useful."

And it is. Over the next few weeks, I study the book constantly and practice whatever I can, making the gestures in front of the mirror and even in front of Lindor, who chuckles and tries to catch my hands every time I sign at him.

I try to communicate with Valindra, who studies the book almost as much as I do. "Very strange," she says musingly. "I wonder how many humans actually lose their voices?"

You're being very patient, I sign — only I'm still learning — so it's more like: You much Patience.

"Ah, well," she shrugs. "It's good to learn something new. And honestly, Albia, you've been an absolute treasure with Lindor. I'm actually getting some work done since you arrived, not to mention some much needed sleep."

She's certainly getting work done. Every day, we follow the same routine. We wake to dress and eat breakfast, do chores and tend to Lindor. Then, we head out into the forest, each day a different direction as Valindra seeks the colours and textures she wants.

She takes skeins of unworked silk from the spinners and, wielding her spindle, sets off, striding rapidly through the woods or across the treetops. I follow, carrying Lindor and the basket of food and baby supplies, until we reach a good place, which could be anywhere.

There, she begins to work, siphoning the colours and textures of her surroundings onto the thread as it winds around he spindle. It's amazing because she can spin for hours, the thread slowly gaining greater substance, colour and shade, until the skein is the colour of a fresh, new morning or the sparkles of sunlight on the water, or the deep emerald shade beneath the canopy.

Valindra admonishes me before she starts working. "Now don't wander, Albia," she says bossily as she sets up. "It may be daylight, but there are still predators aplenty. You don't want to run into the manticore."

I blink, then put down both Lindor and the sign language book so I can sign. There are manticores? I have to spell the word 'manticores' in the phonetic sign alphabet: the book doesn't include the word and we haven't invented a sign for that yet, unlike the way we have for 'hob' or 'spell' or 'goblin'.

"Well, there's at least one." Valindra twists silk onto her spindle, threading it expertly. "No one sees it that often, fortunately. But every time we think it might be gone, it reappears and usually kills someone." She smiles grimly. "Sometimes, people just disappear and we always say it is the manticore. If it wasn't those Unseelie bastards..."

I glance around nervously, picking up Lindor and edging closer to Valindra. But worse than my fear of predators or violent Unseelie is the reminder of Barathalion. Barathalion, who longed to kill a manticore.

I do everything I can to avoid thinking about Barathalion during our spinning expeditions. It's relatively easy back at the house with dozens of chores to do. But out here, if Lindor's being quiet, there's little to distract me.

I count acorns on a tree, I keep watch for predators, I wind Valindra's skeins for her and of course, I play with Lindor who loves grabbing at my signing hands with his soft, white, flexible young claws. But, Barathalion is always there, a shadow in my mind. I wish I could just push him away, I hate the fact that he has such power over me, but he does.

So I try thinking about other people. Whenever my conscious thoughts go to Barathalion, I make myself think about my family instead. Generally, the rush of emotions invoked by these thoughts can at least, partially, distract me against the eternal shadow that is Barathalion.

I don't miss Myriil. Honestly, I half expected to but I don't. Instead, there's a huge sense of relief that I'm far away from him. I never knew what a hideous pressure and what an awful burden living with him was. Not until that burden was taken away.

Now, knowing that I don't have to live with my parents' murder, knowing that I don't even have to see him and probably never will again, is such a sweet release. I feel like I can fly every time I think of it.

Ari is more complicated. I miss her, but there's a shameful sense of relief about getting away from her too. Ari was always so angry and so judgemental. Talking to her sometimes was like getting a beating.

It's a relief to escape from her constant rage and implicit criticism, not to mention the constant competition between us. No more being compared to her and found wanting. No more being the 'weaker' sister, the one who needs to be protected. Not that my family did anything to protect me when I actually needed it.

I close my eyes against the wave of bitterness this thought brings on. Naela, my stepmother, who I loved and who loved me, offered me up to Barathalion like a sweetmeat on a platter. I know she thought it was all for the best and that I would make my fortune as his mistress.

There was no way she could have known he would rape me. But, I'm still so angry with her and with Keya too, a little, for not noticing. For being so busy being self-righteously angry with Myriil and all faeries that she couldn't be bothered to see that I was in trouble.

How is it possible to miss three people so much and at the same time be so happy to be away from them?

~Fun Fact~

It takes less than 20 seconds to reach the ground if you jump off the tallest building in the world.

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