You are home.

Staying strong.

"Rue?" I say calmly, walking in to her room.

"Hey." She says, grinning at me slightly.

"Look, Im so sorry about last night. I-"

She cuts me off.

"you don't have to apologise for everything. We were both in the wrong, lets just forget." She smiles at me.

I laugh and sit down next to her, resting my head on her shoulder. God i missed her.

"Hey you wanna do a few lines?" she chuckles.

I take my head off her shoulder,

"thissss might be a shock to you, but i'm actually trying to get clean for fez" I laugh,
"I haven't been telling him the exact truth though, he thinks i've been clean for like a week, but i got fucked last night, i was really high. But i'm really gonna try for him now."

I expect her to be supportive, but no, what did i really expect.

"fuck that" she whispers "lets get high, cmon." she pulls my hand, going to her stash. I pull my hand away.

"No Rue, cmon i'm really trying here" I smile, Letting her know i'm serious.

"Don't be boringgggg" she moans

I laugh, just trying to keep the situation calm.

"Nah i'm really trying to commit to this bro" I say "Fez really wants the best for me"

"Fuck fez, he's a fucking drug dealer how does he know whats best, he's high 90% of the time anyways."

she tries to pull me up again, i ignore her comment about Fez, as much as it pisses me off.

"Fr Rue" I look at her.

"Nah you taking some whether u want to or not" She says laughing, thinking this is all a funny joke. This time she yanks me up, grabs her stash and hands me a pill. My hands shake and the temptation to just give in is unreal, but i'm staying strong, i'm really trying, even if its only been 24hours, baby steps.

I throw the pill on the floor and look at her.

"Im not taking that Rue."

"Don't be so boring melody."

I sigh

"Rue i'm really trying here, I know your still some fucking addict but i'm really trying."

She laughs, Not a good laugh, Its one of her angry laughs, a laugh that only drug addicts have, its scary.

"then get the fuck outta my house if you aint gonna do drugs with me no more." she mutters. "Fez really changed you, now your some good girl."

I laugh and take my things and walk out.

"Don't ever try to pressure someone like that again."
I say firmly as I walk out.

Somehow i really wish my best friend wasn't like this. I used to love her, having someone who doesn't judge me for doing drugs, but she is still clinging to the old me, not the new me.

i really wish she would just change along with me.