Free Falls and Second Chances

Chapter 4: A Reminiscence of the Day We First Met

Note: Thanks to what I've recently experienced, nagkaroon na rin ako ng idea kung paano ko tatapusin to. Mwehehehe. To the guy in the photo above, I love you still, and I guess I always will. I miss you.

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Knockout si Kyla pagkahiga pa lang nito sa higaan. Ni hindi na nga nito nagawang maghilamos o magtanggal ng sapatos. Diretso agad ito sa paghilata sa kama and it only took less than three minutes bago ko narinig ang mahihinang paghilik nito.

Samantalang ako? Eto, nakakailang beses nang paikot-ikot sa higaan. Di ako mapakali. Nakapagbilang na rin ako ng limandaang tupa at nakailang breathing exercises na pero di pa rin ako dinadalaw ng antok.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit paulit-ulit na nagfa-flashback sa utak ko si Gio. Hindi naman ganito kadalas yung flashbacks nung kami pa ni Drake. Dahil nga siguro nadidistract din ako. And maybe this was one of the reasons why I chose to stay with that a-hole. To forget about who I knew I should be forgetting by now. Three long years for God's sake. Three long years na pilit na pagmu-move on sa taong dalawang buwan lang nanatili sa buhay ko. Ghinost pa nga ako. Kraaazzzyyyy.

I met Gio at a point in my life where I was stuck in a complicated mess of emotions. Wala pang isang buwan noon mula nang malaman ko na ikinasal na pala sa iba yung lalakeng mahal na mahal ko at that time, si Trev.

Trev came from a quite well-off Filipino-Chinese family, and so was his fiancé. Call me makasalanan, call me whatever you want, pero I was totally clueless about the fact na may fiancé pala siya nung sinagot ko siya. It was only after four months of being together when I knew about the real mess I was in. At that time, I was already hell bent on commitment. I was already blindly in love and completely smitten with him. At tanginang love yan, nakakabobo kaya pumayag akong mag-stay kahit alam ko na may possibility na hindi rin magiging kami sa huli. Ilang beses man akong umiyak dahil sa kanya, o kahit ilang beses man akong pinagbigyan ng pagkakataon ng tadhana to call it quits, I never did. I was that fcking stubborn.

Isa pa, I wouldn't have fought for us that hard kung hindi ko alam na ako rin 'yung mahal nya talaga. But December came around and then came one of the most dreaded days of my life. We haven't seen each other for about two weeks at that time kasi kinailangan niya pumunta ng Indonesia for his uncle's business. The next week, he said they were stranded in Sulu kasi nga kasagsagan din ng COVID at that time. Little did I know, he was getting married that week. And I never suspected a thing. Kasi nga mahal na mahal ko. Kasi nga malaki yung tiwala ko sa kanya. Tanga rin. Tangang-tanga.

It wasn't until Christmas Eve when I finally saw the pre-nup and wedding photos. All my other friends knew about it all along, and I was the very last one to know. I never blamed them though, it wasn't a secret that was theirs to tell.

Depressed na depressed ako at that time, putangina lang. Ilang linggo din akong nagkulong sa kwarto nun. Wala akong ganang kumain, walang ganang makihalubilo sa iba. Ginusto ko lang matulog nun buong araw. The only times I ever went out was if there were important work-related matters I had to attend to or pag piniiiilit talaga ako ng friends ko na lumabas. Otherwise, I preferred to stay at home and sleep. Idagdag mo pa na laging delayed ang sahod namin at that time at naghihingalo na din ang pitaka ko.

It was during one of those "pilit" moments when I met Gio. Kakasahod lang namin 'nun, at napagkasunduan namin ng kasama ko sa trabaho na mag-celebrate. Before heading home, napadaan ako nun sa bagong café na nasa tabi lang ng resto na kinainan namin. The café' s ambiance was minimalist, with the theme mostly white and wooden brown. In my opinion, it was really appealing, so I decided to go in and buy myself a cup of coffee.

Alas-sais na nun at wala nang masyadong customers. You see, it was a small town, and usually kapag ganoong oras, people would either be going out with their families and friends or staying at home for dinner. The cafe was empty except for the staff at the counter.

Nakatalikod sya nun kaya di ko agad nakita yung itsura nya but when he faced me, MAN, I WAS LITERALLY STARSTRUCK. I don't believe in such saying as "love at first sight", but "crush at first sight"? Well, I definitely do.

He was tall and quite lanky, but I guess that's where his charm exuded from. Mahaba ang buhok nya, covering most of his eyes and ears, and for a moment, I wondered how it would feel running my fingers through it. Mas smooth pa kaysa sa buhok ko eh. Medyo singkit yung mga mata nya, matangos ang ilong, at maninipis ang mga labi. Again, I tried so hard not to ogle him, but the pervy part of my mind couldn't help but wonder how it would have felt like to have those lips on mine.

"Good evening, Ma'am. May I take your order?" I immediately snapped out of my reverie when I heard his voice. Taena, di kaya ako napapanganga kanina habang tinititigan sya? I felt the blood rushing up to my cheeks as I heard his voice. The heck, ba't pati boses nito masarap?

"Uh, yeah. Uhm... I'll have one iced caramel macchiato, please. 16 oz." Shuta, did I just stammer? Kakahiyaaaa. Pakiramdam ko, parang hindi ko boses ang narinig ko kanina. I sounded like some innocent, nervous teenage schoolgirl talking to her ultimate crush for the first time. And I was already 25 freaking years old at that time!

He repeated my order to confirm, at inabot ko na sa kanya ang bayad. He wasn't wearing a name tag at that time kaya di ko alam kung anong pangalan niya. Sayang. But as I sat at the table near the corner, waiting for my order to be served, I knew I'd be coming here often from then on.

At that moment, I smiled to myself as I savored the slightest tingling sensation of butterflies flapping their little wings in my stomach.

I knew this would be temporary, baka nga mawala din to agad in a few days. And boy, was I ever so wrong.