White Collar: An unofficial novel - part 9

Then nothing else matters

Peter watched Neal who seemed lost in thought.

"You know, I think you think of me as rather young, am I right," the kid asked.

"I do," Peter nodded.

"Well, I have been younger."

"How old were you when you met Adler?" Peter asked but then made a quick calculation in his head. "You can't even have been nineteen."

Neal nodded.

"Alex waited for me outside when I left for home. She was not happy, but I said I wasn't going to apologize. That it was my job to catch her and her job was not to get caught. She said 'fair enough' and remained standing, watching me. I asked her what she wanted and she told me to buy her a drink and we'll talk. She was a charming woman and Kate was hugging a boyfriend further down the sidewalk, so why not? We were done talking before we got there though and continued to my place to have sex instead."

Peter felt that his cheeks got hot. He drank some of the cold beer and held the bottle by his face to take the color away. The kid did not notice though. He was watching the night sky.

"She knew by instinct that my name wasn't Nick Halden at all. Said she recognized a fellow grifter when she saw one. I didn't understand how then, but I do now. I would have spotted myself back then easily today."

"Did you tell her your real name?"

"No, and she didn't ask. I asked her what she was really looking for. She said 'something Adler doesn't have'. I felt that was odd because to me Adler had everything. Then she told me about a certain music box."

They returned inside and Peter grabbed another beer from the fridge. So even the music box would turn up this night. Why was he not surprised?

"So Alex turned you on to the music box."

"Yeah, she'd been chasing it for years. She heard Adler had information on it."

"Did he?"

"He had a rumor that it was at the Amalienborg Palace in Copenhagen. Said she'd send me a message if she ever needed my help getting it."

"What kind of message?"

"A flower."

"Did she ever send it?"

"Yeah, but that's another part of the story. Alex disappeared, and Kate... Well, things changed."

"She left her boyfriend for you?"

"She left for Chicago with him first and I realized how much I loved her. I called in sick which of course Mozzie heard of and was upset."

"How did Mozzie hear about it?"

"He was around. As a cleaner, or a plumber, or a delivery man, you know the kind of people that come and go and you hardly notice."

Peter nodded.

"Well, anyway, he said every day with Adler counted. That he had the siphon in place. And reminded me that all we needed was the password. I told him I would get it. But Mozzie said he was sensing that my heart wasn't totally into this. I lied and said my heart was fine. He said it was a good thing Kate left because she made me lose focus."

"He was probably right."

"Yeah. He was," Neal nodded. "Six months are so much longer time when you're young. So much happened during that time. And then Kate knocked on my door the same day she was supposed to leave and said she wanted to stay with me."

Peter watched the now twenty-seven-year-old conman next to him.

"You and Adler developed a connection and you and Kate were finally together. You had it all." And for a nineteen-year-old, that temptation must have been overwhelming.

"Yeah," the kid nodded. "I was eating the best food, wearing the best suits, drinking the best wine... the kind that has corks. It was a perfect life."

"And it was also the perfect lie. You and Mozzie were still working the long con."

"Trying to make the lie real. But every con has an expiration date."

"Mozzie was beginning to be nasty, by every right, questioning if I would do the job. He understood that I was affected, but unfortunately, he forgot that I was so much younger than him and had a different background. I had not been doing these kinds of things for as long as he had.

'Don't kid yourself,' he said. 'Kate doesn't even know your real name. None of them do.' I told them they cared about me. Adler and Kate, they saw me, encouraged me, made me feel something more than just a conman. Mozzie objected.

'She cares about Nick Halden, and he doesn't exist,' he said. I hated to be reminded of that. At that moment I could've left Neal Caffrey behind for good if it meant that Kate stayed with me. Then he told me about you, having a sketch of me."

"We did. Based on the footage from the bank."

"Well, it put me back on the ground, reminding me where I was and what I was. Mozzie said it was time to finish the job and move on. And I agreed. The next day Adler had me try out for a custom-made suit. A ten thousand dollar suit. I objected and he insisted.

'Some people say dress for the job you want,' Adler said. 'I say dress as the man you want to be.' He..." Neal paused. It still hurt. "He knew what he was doing, manipulating me perfectly, making sure I felt special, on the same level as he. And I was so sure I manipulated him and didn't see it was the other way around. Neither did Mozzie. He thought it was my charm doing the trick. Anyway, Adler had seen that I and Kate were together and said we looked good. I..." Neal hesitated again, feeling stupid now.

"Yes?"

"I opened my heart to him and told him there were things about me Kate didn't know. That I was worried. He told me not to worry.

'Oftentimes, the things we try and hide are the most obvious to the people around us.'"

Neal shook his head. There were so many things he had understood too late.

"When we were alone, I told him about an irregularity in one of the accounts in the Caymans. Said it was probably someone from the bank, confirming a transfer, but I needed to look into the account details to be sure. Said I was going to book a meeting with the bank so Adler could check it. He said there was no need and wrote down the password for me.

'Burn this when you're done. Don't sell yourself short. Kate'll love you for who you really are. As will others.'

Then I just took Adler's advice and bought myself a hat."

Neal could not help grinning at this. Peter smiled too.

"Dress as the man you want to be."

"Exactly. I walked with Kate through Madison square park and the fountain with the violinist that she loved. I said I had to be somewhere by six, that it was a commitment I made a long time ago. She told me I should blow off the commitment, that our violinist agreed that I should stay with her on the bench. I said I promised a friend and I could not back out and she just looked at me with her blue eyes and I was too scared to lose her. She asked what was wrong and I said 'I feel like I could blink, and it'd all be gone.' She told me I just blinked and she was still there. I made my choice. I remained where I was because nothing else mattered any longer."

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