Trusted

"Mikey, time for school!"

"Coming!" I yell. 

I know I shouldn't be yelling in an apartment building, but who cares. I know I don't.

Even I was 5, I've tried so hard to be girly. To be the Mikey mom and dad want me to be. I've worn skirts, dresses, and even makeup to school to try and convince them. They've thought of me as rebellious, but I like to think of it more like, I don't know, being myself? Apparently that isn't allowed in my apartment, though. Mrs. Garcia, the old lady across from us, once saw me in this really dark, emo makeup when I went to grab the mail from downstairs. She yelled at me, talking about how "this generation is so dark and annoying". Stay angry, bitch.

I pull on some jeans and a shirt and run downstairs. The only good thing about school is that we have no uniform. I usually put on boyish clothes, but nothing too masculine. I've been able to convince my parents that I'm a tomboy, but I know that isn't the truth. But what is it then?

When I get home, I tell myself, and run into the kitchen.

"We made french toast!" Yells my younger sister, Aurora. Unlike me, she's very girly. And loves to cook, like, too much. My parents smile at each other. My mom, Eliza, obviously favors my sister over me. Whatever, not like I care anyway. I've got better things to worry about than her.

My dad, Drake, is sitting on the couch reading the newspaper. He's pretty anti-social, so I will never understand how he got my mom to like him in college. He has his ways, I guess.

"Good morning, Mikey!" I cringe at my name. Even though it's gender-neutral, it sounds so... feminine. "How's my favorite older daughter today?" Double cringe. While that "compliment" means nothing anyways, it hurts all the same. Daughter. Why can't it be child for once? Or maybe... no. He'd never call me his son. Because I'm a girl. I think. 

I practically throw on my shoes. Bright pink high-tops that I got for Christmas 2 years ago. Somehow, they still fit, even though I'm 15 now. 

"Have fun with your boyfriend at school, Mikeeeeeey!" Aurora teases. I don't have to ask who she's talking about. One of my best friends since daycare, Lucas Brown. Only my friends and I know he's gay.

Grabbing my backpack, I basically sprint out the door. I can't stand my family. I don't hate them, but it's hard to relate. In their eyes, I'm Mikey Darron, the rebellious city girl who will never fit in to the Darron family. I'm like a puzzle piece, similar to the fitting one, but not exactly a perfect fit. And I never will be.

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"All set! Have a great day!" says the bus driver. I smile and find an empty seat in the back. At the next stop, my friend Visha Bedi, gets on. While I've known Lucas for 13 years, we've only become good friends in the past couple years. Visha, however, has been my bestie since second grade when we had a project in school together. I tell her everything. Well, almost everything.

"Hey girlie!" Visha says, sliding into the seat next to me. "How are you?" I'm used to this greeting by now, but it gets irritating.

"Good" I reply, trying my best to sound cheerful. For once, I can't wait to get home.

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West County High isn't the best school for someone like me, because it's a very nerdy place. I'm pretty smart in terms of academics, but I'm not preppy like most people here. I have friends though, so that's good. Allie Martin, Kendra 'Kay' Sullivan, and Sally Benson.

My friends Allie, Kay, and Sal meet us in the usual spot, under the giant oak tree near the school. Allie Martin was my friend at soccer camp when I was ten. We bonded over being forced into the camp by our parents, and we've been friends ever since. Kendra Sullivan, who we call Kay, just kinda started hanging out with us at the beginning of this school year. They kind of just adapted to our lifestyle, I guess. Finally, we have Sally Benson, or Sal. She's like, everyone's best friend. Nicest person ever, besides Visha of course. She was Allie's friend from middle school, so she joined our friend group as well. We're the only ones like us in our school, so we didn't have any choice but to be friends.

Me and Visha run towards them. Lucas is always late, so we don't expect him to be here with us, but secretly I hope he does. It doesn't feel right without him here.

"So, have you guys finished the project for chem?" asks Kay, eager to start a conversation.

Shit. I forgot.

"It's due in a week or two, I'm not sure yet." Sal chimes in. "But I'm almost done!"

The rest nod their heads in agreement. Sal is always caught up with homework. She's the nerd of our group, but she won't admit it.

Allie runs off to see her girlfriend before the bell rings. She's probably the #1 Girl In Red fan, and will inform any boy she meets that she's a lesbian. Because, and I quote, "I don't want some TikTok fuck boy trying to hit on me when all I'm thinking about is women." She's really the best.

I'm not sure what my sexuality is. Most people have already had their first kiss by now, but I think I've only ever had two crushes. I don't know yet, but Visha says that's okay. She's pansexual, the only pan person I know. I just use "queer" because I'm undecided. For now, gender is my priority.

"Mikey, you okay?" Visha and Kay have walked ahead, now it's just me and Sal. I guess she could tell I was deep in thought, because I stumble up the front steps when she pulled me out of my trance.

If only she understood.