Trusted

"So how's your boyfriend?"

"Rora, I don't have a boyfriend! Or a crush. I don't like anyone!" I groan. Aurora has made it her priority to annoy me since she first came into this world. I can't catch a break!

"Yes you doooo!" She giggles. "You're smiling!"

"I'm smiling at how stupid you are." I whisper. It's true, but she's also not wrong. I'm not really sure what a crush feels like, but I think I have one on a friend. I shake my head, as if that'll get the thought out of my mind. I turn my attention back to Aurora. "Now get ready for school, child." She hates being called a child, but she is one.

Reluctantly, she puts on her shoes. I do too. I'm pretty sure that I'm trans. Which I'm glad that I know now, but this makes everything remotely 'feminine' ten times more annoying. Like these bright pink high tops.

Grabbing my backpack and purse, I head outside. I don't usually notice grabbing my purse, since it's been an everyday occurrence ever since I got my first period. But now it reminds me that I'll never be a real boy.

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"Mikey! Uh- hey, what's up?" Lucas says nervously. I have to walk by his locker to get to most of my classes, and he's always there waiting for me. My heart flutters a little. Heart, shut the fuck up, wrong time! I smile, and I'm probably blushing really hard. How do I break the silence??

Thank god Kendra comes up behind him. "Hey besties!" She says, mimicking a cheerleader.

Lucas and I laugh. I love his laugh, it's like a melody. Anyways.

She continues, "So I heard that Nicole's older brother is getting married!" Great, already heard that. I don't want to remember the day I heard that. But I remember.

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Lunch and History are probably the easiest classes of the day. Lunch because, well, you get to eat food. And no homework. History, purely because Allie and Nicole sit on either side of me. When I first got that seat last term, I was so annoyed. Two of my friends, yeah, but they only want to talk to each other. I didn't take into account that being the messenger for their 'secret' love notes to each other would be so funny. 

Finally, the lunch bell rings. I practically skip to my locker, so eager to talk to my friends. History and choir are after lunch, and I only get one class with a friend beforehand. Theater, with Sally. Most people join theater for an easy A, but I like it. The teacher, Ms. Monaya, isn't really eccentric. Despite what high school teen movies will tell you. West County is pretty bland, to be honest. But not as bland as clam chowder made by a white lady from Ohio. 

I grab my lunch and head to the bathroom, as usual. It's always hurt a little, seeing the "women's" sign next to the bathroom door, and knowing I have to go in there. Knowing that every girl in there is actually a girl, and doesn't get bothered by being called one. Not me.

Will this ever change?

I get out of there as fast as possible. Of course, as if this moment could get any worse, I see a straight couple making out near the cafeteria. She's pretty though, and he's cute. I wish I was him- no, her. No, him.

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What are we even singing again? Oh, Ode To Joy. I hate this song, it's so boring. Singing it is like muscle memory with chores. You don't have to think while folding laundry, because you've done it so many times that you know exactly what to do without thinking. I just sing the lyrics without worrying what comes next. But that doesn't mean I enjoy it. Just like I don't enjoy folding laundry.

"Gladly, as His suns fly through the heavens' grand plan..." Ah fuck this, I'm mouthing it. Forget the pep rally, I have better matters to attend to. I look over at Lucas, expecting him to be encompassed in the music, like usual. (Yes, I do look at him often. No, don't question it.) But he's looking right back at me. I stop mouthing the words and smile bigger than I mean to. His face goes red, a similar shade to a tomato.

The bell rings mid-song, but everyone keeps singing. I head for the door and Lucas follows me, so I take my chance. 

"Hey, my parents are away for the weekend, wanna come over?" To the average person, this may sound like an invitation to have sex. We both know it isn't, because it isn't. Also, he's gay.

"Uh, sure. I'd have to miss my swim lesson though..."

"Oh. Sorry I- I forgot. Should we reschedule?" I stutter.

"No it's okay, I swear. Lemme just ask my mom."

"Does tomorrow work? I-"

"Mikey?"

"Yeah"

"I'd miss anything for you."

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"How have you not heard of the 'is for me' meme?!" I wheeze just thinking about it.

"Really, I haven't! What is it?" Lucas asks. Okay, so I may have invited my crush over and made fun of him in the first minute. So? What about it?

I mimic the 'is for me' hands. It's his turn to wheeze. "Hold on, I think I've seen that before! Oh my gosh, I'm so fucking dumb-"

I cut him off. "You're not."

Our eyes lock. He can probably hear my heart going insane. I think I should tell him.

"Can- can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"I'm trans"

"I know" 

Wait, what? This wasn't part of the plan. Well, there wasn't actually a plan, but that was not how I expected that to go. Honestly, I don't know how I did expect it to go. "How? What, I-"

He takes my hands in his. Oh my god. I open my mouth to speak again, but he puts his finger on my mouth to shut me up.

"And I'm non-binary"