What Meets The Eye

4

I spent the rest of the day in my room, reading, writing, thinking, and...occasionally cutting. I was up to 12. 6 per arm.  I went to sleep, semi-content. My dreams were filled with me attacking my friends, drinking their blood, touching them inappropriately. It made me sick what my mind was coming up with. I woke up in the morning, annoyed. I opened my door, and slowly walked towards the kitchen. I was going to try and trust myself. I walked in and everyone immediately ran and hugged me, even Percy layed a gentle hand on my shoulder, his smile warm. Well, Percy warm. We sat down at the table, me stirring my oatmeal without eating any. Vex was the first to speak. "So, are we going to talk about two days ago?" Everyone, who had been chattering idly looked at her and shut up. Percy nodded, and Scanlan looked awkward, his mood down-put. I glared at Vex silently. It was a look she knew all to well. A look that said, quite literally; "You jerk. You know I don't want to talk about this." She stared right back at me, her sharp eyes not looked away from mine. Ah, so we were doing this were we? It was an old game. First to look away loses. We stared at eachother for two minutes, before I gave in and looked down. That was a mistake. Vex widened her eyes. The only time I ever gave in to this little contest(which I took quite seriously) was 10 years ago when I cut on a regular basis. Please don't ask... I thought nervously."Vax, I want to see your arms."

Silence.

Keyleth was tearing up, Percy looked surprised, and the others looked confused. Keyleth and Vex were the only ones who ever knew of my cutting. Vex stared at me, her serious eyes still brimming with worry and anger. "Vax, show me your arms. Now." I hesitated and looked away, fists clenched. I could feel my eyes burning, and from the way the others, asides from Vex, backed up, I could tell my eyes were glowing again. As a last resort, my sister grabbed my arm.

I cried out, the cuts re-opening. That was all the evidence she needed, and pulled up my sleeves. I looked away, ashamed. I felt a drop of water on my hand. I looked up, and what I saw was the last thing I ever expected to see. Vex was crying.

"Vax, I really thought we were over this. You promised, you promised you would never hurt yourself again." I pulled my arm away and glanced at the others. Tears were streaming down Keyleth and Pike's faces, Grog looked confused, Scanlan was staring at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears, and Percy...Percy surprised me. He looked genuinely startled and concerned.

That's when something in me snapped. When I realized just what I was. When I realized that they all actually cared about me.

What had I done?