Evan "Buck" Buckley-Nash 2

3. Blame

Abby drove to McDonald's and ordered Harry a happy meal before going to her apartment.

"Is May going to be okay? Mom was crying." Harry said after a bit as both Abby and the boy watched Buck pace around the kitchen with his arms above his head.

"She'll be okay. She has to be." He said to Harry nodding his head and then went back to pacing.

Abby got a glass of water. "Buck why don't you come sit and drink this. You're sweating."

He shook his head. "I'm trying very hard to not freak out right now. I need a level head."

Then his phone rang. His father, he picked up faster than the speed of light.

"You should come and see May, bring Harry please."

"Okay we'll be there soon. What happened?"

Bobby clearly took a second to have composure. "She found your mothers old pain medication and took the bottle."

"Suicide?" Buck's voice went distant as his eyes welled with tears. "She is okay?" Tears went down his cheeks and he went to the bathroom closing the door. Harry didn't need to hear if she wasn't.

"She's awake already she has to stay at the hospital under servalence and social services has to check the home to make sure it's a safe environment for our kids."

"But she's fine? Who cares about details she's fine she's going to come home and be okay?"

"Yes Buck, Athena came home not soon after she did it. Please just come with Harry. She has to be put in the mental facility soon and can't have visitors."

"Be there in 15."

Abby already had Harry gather up his toys and put his shoes on by the time he left the bathroom.

Buck tied his own shoes. "Abby I probably won't be back tonight. I'm going to stay with Harry. Looks like May is okay." He told his as his eyes gathered more tears. "Thank you for allowing us somewhere to stay during all this. I seriously owe you, now Harry time to go visit May."

"You owe me nothing Buckley. Go see your sister." She gave him a kiss goodbye.

Harry ran to his sisters room once he saw it. Buck couldn't even walk. He was frozen, she tried to call him and he didn't even answer. He didn't even know.

Bobby came outside once Harry ran in without Buck. He touched Bucks shoulder and sat him down on a bench.

"Like you said on the phone," Bobby began. "She's going to be fine."

"Dad she called me. She called me and I didn't know. It was only a few minutes before-" he broke down. "She tried to reach out to me, and I wasn't there for her. I was her last go to, I let her down."

Bobby sighed deeply and sorrowfully. He looked up at the sky like he was praying. "Only thing I can tell you Buck is that it's not your fault. She told your mother people have been bullying her. She didn't do this because of you. Now I ask that you pull yourself together a bit and come and talk to her." Buck nodded taking deep breaths trying to convince himself he wasn't responsible for his sisters almost death.

Bobby pulled Buck into a hug and Buck put all his weight on his Dad. He hadn't hugged his dad in a long time. Just like when he was kid he felt grounded in the position and was soon calm enough to not force his breathing.

"Thank you, I'm ready." Buck pulled away wiped his eyes and stood up.

Buck never turned his ringer off after that. He'd never miss a phone call again, it could be life or death for all he knows. He took Harry home that night as Athena and Bobby had to sign papers to keep May in the hospital for a bit longer. He'd never let a sibling down again, he's worse than Maddie. He almost let his sister die and had no idea.

Both Bobby and Buck had a few days off from the firehouse along with Athena from the precinct. The social worker came and cleared them, and May came home in only a matter of days. Buck hugged her tight and kissed his head.

"Love you." He said squeezing her.

"Love you too." She responded. "I like being able to breathe too." She joked and Buck let her go.

Harry tackled her into a hug next and Buck continued talking after Harry let her be. "Anybody gives you trouble again, you come and you get me. I'll show them their place."

"That will not be happening." Athena said in a serious tone. "Come and get settled baby. Dad is making dinner."

The family sat around the table and as awkward and forced as it was each member of the family was thankful to be there, and was grateful everybody was there.

Buck finally began to feel like things were settling again. Work was going well, May was okay, his parents aren't mad at him anymore, and Abby was who he wanted to be with forever.

That next day he moved his things into her home. Basically his laundry aside from a few things and some little stuff he valued. He didn't have much anyways, but it made the two of them happy to take a step forward the the relationship after so soon.

Although Abby's mother doesn't know who he is, he was starting to grow accustomed to her being there. Carla her caretaker was becoming a close friend it was great. He felt safe and comfortable in a relationship for the first time.

After the incident Buck referred to it as because he can't piece together and process the fact that his little sister would do such a thing, he had a set schedule with his brother and sister. He would pick them up from school on Thursday's and see them on Saturday's. They got to pick what they did and where they went.

This seemed to please his parents as well. They were proud of Buck for being so grown up, but for also valuing his family. It made it clear how hard Buck loved each and every one of them despite the harsh feelings that came up every once and a while.