It's No Fairytale

Chapter IV

CHAPTER IV

They forced me to go home, because I "was interfering with the doctors' work." Bullshit. They just couldn't stand seeing someone caring about people besides themselves.

Maybe I'm lying to myself. The only thing I've done all week is disturb others. I kept telling them how their job should be done when I actually didn't know anything about medical work.

Now, I'm back at home. Alone. Dad's still working. He didn't come back to see Jordan at the hospital after leaving for work that day. In fact, no one saw him since that day. Now that I think about it, he's lucky he didn't show up because I think I would've strangled him.

Since I can't go back to the hospital before the hours these idiots allowed me to, (which are between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. and between 1 p.m. and 9 p.m. during the weekend), I'm currently getting ready for school. My first class starts in a few hours, but I have to catch up on a lot of work, because I spent last week in the hospital. Alex, being the good friend he is, told me he would lend me his notes so I could catch up.

With music blasting in my headphones, I spent a whole hour writing, copying and trying to understand some new things, and also, trying to understand Alex's artistic handwriting. He's lucky to have taken "Art" in school, otherwise, I think he wouldn't fit in.

"Hey! My bestie is back!" said Alex.

"Hi."

He sits beside me in the library and says:

"I swear, psychology class is a bunch of bull. The teacher opens his mouth and I want to get out of the class as fast as I can."

"Why did you pick that class anyway? You want to become a journalist, what does psychology have to do with it?"

"It's an additional class I chose. I chose it for my personal knowledge. Just like you, except you picked sociology. The only difference is that I actually understand what we're learning."

"Really, what's it gonna be useful for?"

"To understand people more."

"Like...?"

"Like being able to see when you're sad because your dad still didn't come back to the hospital to see Jordan and that he refuses to prove to you that he's still alive."

"You're good."

"I know! And I also know that you don't wanna talk about it right now. Do you know it's fine? You're not obligated to tell me everything, but I'll always be here if you need me. Always."

I hope one day he'll realize how right he is. Yes, there's something bothering me that I don't want to talk about. In my opinion, he manages my emotions more than I do.

This stupid false doctor is what's bothering me. He spent the whole week looking at me while taking Jordan's vital signs-by the way, isn't that the nurse's job or something?-and then, he left without talking to me.

He spent entire days laughing with other patients or their families.

He spent entire days making others laugh, having fun and completely ignoring me.

He also used to disappear. But, I've noticed that only Friday. Four days after Jordan got admitted in the hospital.

Every day, at around four in the afternoon, he finished checking up on the patients, he brought the files into the office and then disappeared upstairs.

Maybe he was checking up on other patients, or maybe he went to the bathroom or maybe he went out to smoke (I mean he can't be that perfect, right?), just like everyone could, well except for the check up on patients. I would never have enough time to waste with this kind of bullshit and I think I'm pretty normal.

"Laurence?"

"Huh? What?"

"You weren't listening to me", Alex complained.

"I know. Tell me what you were saying."

"I was asking you if you were gonna come have dinner with us soon? Mom has been talking about that for weeks. She would love meeting you."

"You know I'm not comfortable around people, Alex...I would probably make everything awkward. And she probably doesn't expect your best friend being..."

"Being what?"

"Well..., being like I am. I'm not really a feminine or classy girl."

"Don't you understand that nobody cares about that? Since when are you that uncomfortable in your skin?"

"I'm not uncomfortable in my skin, I just don't feel like being rejected once again..."

"Does this have to do with Guillaume?"

"What?! No!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am!"

Guillaume was my last boyfriend...well he wasn't actually a boyfriend, that's only what I thought. What he thought was that I was his new toy. Every time I get attached to someone, I end up getting hurt. I think everything is alright, but something terrible happens every time. It has always been that way and I'm getting sick of it.

With Guillaume, I felt different. He went out with me, paid the tickets to the movie theater and the bill at restaurants. He walked me up to my door, kissed me and then left while turning back to me at least three times so he could smile.

I was too stupid.

Because three weeks later, I woke up alone-after our first night together-with only a note on my bedside table.

"Just fucked you real nice, in every way you want."

So yeah, I got fucked over.

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