𝙋𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙤𝙮| Rafe Cameron

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙣

y/n pov:

day 1 

day 1 without rafe. at this point i dont know where we stand. or what the label on our relationship is. hes never asked me to be his girlfriend. and im not sure if i can exactly wait a whole year for someone who i dont know if he actually loves me or hes just playing with me. he seems like he really loves me. im just so upset he broke the rules. he was a month away from being free. and the worst part is i didnt get an answer to where he was and i know your all think just visit him and ask him. well i dont know if he will give me an honest answer. ive never had complete trust with him. im always on edge when we argue. its not the first time hes laid hands on me. before i was sure he did it by mistake but its either hes got bad temper or toxic. right now im learning toward toxic because no person should lays hands an a woman or man. unless its for self defence but im talking anger wise here. the first day without him feels at some what normal. im still debating whether to go to see him. who know i might but theres a possibility he will turn all of this on me saying shit like its my fault im in here you were asking to be raped. im sorry i could barley move how was that asking for it, you let it happen. 

day 20 

day 20 with out rafe, its starting to hit me. i think.  i mean i dont feel the best. i feel ill but i think that is just because i was out a lot in the cold nights.  i still haven't gone to see him. he hasn't called me so why should i see him. i do feels guilty about it. i still have no idea where our relationship is or where its going to go. weather or not we are still going to be together im still figuring it all out. 

month 

a month in and i found out some news i dont know how i feel about it and i dont know how rafe will when i tell him. i have decided to visit him tomorrow. the new is exiting b but also happy. its like my own little secret. i can keep to myself because rafe was the only person i had. i occasionally go the his house to chat the rose, ward, Wheezie and sarah if she's there. they tell me hes been calling them so they have been telling me he might be out in 2 months for good behaviour. i know hard to believe rafe being good. 

i sit down facing  rafe. "hey" i chirp.   "ive missed you" he speaks. "why didnt you call me" i question. "i know you, so i waited until you came to see me, because then i knew you were ready and you have processed everything" answers. i tuck my hair behind my ears and smile. "rose said they are thinking of letting you go in a couple of days for good behaviour" i swallow. "uh yeah" he smiles. "times up" the guard shouts. my smile fades and i can see that rafes does as well. "i love you" he mouths as im rushed out of the door. 

today rafe is finally home. and today is the day ive planned to tell him my little secret, my little surprise. hes being released at 4pm and right now it 3:30. i make my way to his house and rose greets me at the door with a smile. "todays the day" she hugs me. "do you mind if i wait in his room". "of course" she says. any minute now he will walk through the door. i made myself look all pretty to see him. i usually never make an effort. but today feels good. hes taking a lot longer than i expect. but there probably some traffic. i spent the rest of the day waiting for him. i even took two naps. i text him but it just says read. its 1am and i here the door open. "where have you been" i worry. "sorry i got caught up with someone" he changes his shirt. "whos more important than me" i question.  "what" he says confused. "you said you got caught up with someone". "no i didnt" he sprays his cologne. i readjust my self "i have something to tell you". "can it wait" he put his shoes on. "where are you going rafe" i follow him out of the door. "toppers having a party" he stops at the top of the stairs. "why are you hanging with topper" i cross my arms. "he my friend" he faces me. "yeah the friend who raped me and got you in jail" i walk closer to rafe. "whatever you say" he walks down. rafe then stops halfway and turns to me "also go to the gym you look like you've put on 100 pounds".  those words caused what happened next. you dont say to someone they've put on waited when you've put them through shit. i walk into the kitchen where i spot rose. "hey hon whats wrong". she asked and i guess its because there mascara all under my eyes and down my cheek. i take some baby scan photos out of my back jean pocket and slide them across the counter to her "good night" i walk out feeling numb.