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Three weeks later.
„I seriously can’t do this anymore Ben. Have you seen all the stuff she posts on her instagram with that Louis guy. I don’t even get what she sees in him. He’s like 5‘5, shorter than her, she is 5‘8 so the height can’t be it. His hair? No it can’t be the hair either have you seen his hair it’s fucking black and all long with that middle part shit, he‘s copying me with that, one day he‘ll dye his hair brown. His hair can’t be it either.“
„Well he is copying me because you mate got the middle part after I did, I have it for years.“ Of course Ben has to make a comment about that and not help me. I just decided to ignore him as my thoughts are all on her. As soon as I opened my mouth to continue Ben laid his head back on my couch and sighed, rolling my eyes I continued.
„His eyes it can’t be his eyes either, right? We both have brown eyes. His dick? Nah it has to be some magic dick for her to want it, hell, she never even slept with anyone other than me so he can’t really top my dick and abilities. He has money but she isn’t a gold digger and using people for that but hell if she wants money I can give it to her. I would give her the whole world.“
„Now you would give her the world after you realized she clearly moved on. Mason you can’t ruin this for her if you don’t mean anything serious, you’re just going to make it worse for her and you. You can’t jump into her life back after not talking. You don’t even greet each other at training or when you have to drop something off in her office you just give it to me and make me do it. “
He is right.
„I never knew you would be so wise Ben, it’s the beard that made you wise I‘m telling you. But you know, I am taking it serious now.“
As soon as I said that Ben‘s eyes shoot open and he looked at me wide eyed and started laughing. „What’s so funny huh?“
„You and being serious. Mase. You’re my best friend but you can’t just say you’re serious about Felicity if there is still tons of women next to her. It’s not how it works.“
„I cut them off. Seriously I did.“
Ben just looked at me not believing a word I am saying. To be honest that look scares me.
„Okay maybe there are only two left.“
He just looked at me and nodded not surprised by my answer. Ben took his coat and put it on. „I‘m leaving mate, after you cut them off totally we can talk about fixing your love life because clearly it’s really fucked up.“
I rolled my eyes at his remark.
„You know Felicity was right, where did the real Mason go? This isn’t you and you know it.“
That were the last words he said when he closed the door. I hate Ben actually sometimes even though he helps me so much with everything but every single time it has to do something with Felicity he leaves me alone with my thoughts.
A sigh left my lips and I picked up my phone. Ben‘s words repeated over and over in my head and I finally knew what to do. I am finally listening to my heart. I went onto those two side chicks contacts and blocked them. If I want Felicity I need to start over, be the past Mason, who I really am. Tears started leaving my eyes, I couldn’t help it. I fucked up badly. I am so scared that I will never get her trust back, that I will never be the old Mason.
Suddenly I heard my doorbell ringing. I wiped my tears away. I was confused nobody ever rings my doorbell except her, she always did it, it was her 'thing'. Slowly I walked to the door and opened it. There she was standing. Her hair curled and all over the place due to the wind outside. A black tight shirt and blue jeans hugging her perfect figure. She was gorgeous, as she always is, she could wear a trash bag and I would still find her pretty. Why did I do that mistake, why did I let my insecurities lead to this, not being able to do anything but act like strangers, lovers and enemies.
„Hey Mase, I came to drop this off. I was cleaning my room last night and I found these hoodies, I thought you might want them back.“ Her smile was evident on her face and the nervous chuckle as well.
„Oh yeah, hey, thank you. I appreciate it.“ I took the hoodies in my hands and all the memories of her in them came flooding back to me. I tried not to seem as I was breaking inside so I smiled back. „Do you want to come in? Have a cup of tea, coffee?“ This was the first time in months we were talking normal, without yelling at each other. I really want to fix this I need her so much.
„I would love to but Louis is actually waiting in the car. Maybe some other time?“
Louis. Stupid french.
„Yeah, just text me or something when you have time.“ I smiled at her not letting my sadness and frustration show. She nodded and left. When I heard and saw the car door close, I closed my front door sliding down onto the floor. Tears began to leave my eyes again. I need to fix this.
———— A/N Watched 'through my window' last night, damn.
