❝Ha you got me. I'm really not a love fairy that's childish.❞ he confessed, staring intensely at my face, waiting for a reaction.
Saeyi jumps on the table, hands aiming towards his neck. ❝That's messed up! I gave you my soul!❞ she chokes him with al...
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LEE SAEYI, 21
Should I stab myself? I thought while eating ramen on a sunny afternoon. I threw the metal chopsticks in the bowl and pushed it away, sighing for the numerous time of today. It is yet another day to love myself and spend every waking time doing stuff that keeps me sane.
I had to wake up at 1 pm out of all the times that my eyes opened and stared at the ceiling just to sleep again. Now I had less time to spend with the day, the only light in my days. Edgy. Why'd I have to be so emo like my dad that was never there.
To make things worse. I had to live alone which is normal for my age. Unless your parents signed a contract to a fairly huge house in the middle of the new neighborhood as a kickstart. It didn't help that my neighbors are nice couples with annoying kids. Though I do envy their relationship since they'd occasionally hire me to babysit and have dinner with them.
They were different than what I had growing up. I did cringe about their lovey-dovey at first since I perceive it as being too much. But as time goes, I actually wanted what they have.
Soulmate perfect for one another type of stuff.
"I wasn't really that jelly about relationships at first you know. Just that ever since I acknowledged the pretty side of love, they keep on showing before me and I keep on noticing them and it pushes me to face the reality that I don't have anyone reminding me I look great every second of the day." I fall back on my seat after almost shouting my hopeless ass off of my chest.
Daha wasn't on my computer screen when I settled back. I roll my eyes before she starts speaking. "At least I'm single because I have high standards. What's your excuse? Stop moping around and try to flirt again you prissy princess." Daha had been my friend since middle school and she always knows people that liked me but never had the guts to make the first move.
I was the friendly friend that isn't approachable. Which puts men who like me to buckle and retreat. I was someone who seemed like a youthful kid that isn't ready for any relationship, simply put I was very immature for my age. Now that I'm actually ready again, nobody comes to flip my shiny switch.
"Last time I listened to that advice, I never really liked the guy," I recall the time I made the first move because it smelled of love in the air. I later hated the guy because his expectations of me and my face were different than what I actually am. He had thought I would be a nice and naive little lady. Probably a girl who'd give his dick the 66th chance for redemption after cheating with her father's side aunt for the fourth time.
There I decided perpetually that I should let a guy go through the effort of knowing me first before we do the day 1 of being a couple shit. Would've been great if I actually dated at least once a year but I didn't. All the love I've received every year had been from my mom and Daha.
Not that it isn't enough well it probably isn't. Anyhow, I just want some diversity okay.
I heard Daha chuckle a laugh before showing up at the screen dressed and prepped, "Anyways, I have a date tonight remember? The outfit you handpicked is stunning babe." she gives a little twirl while I give her a round of applause with a smug grin, proud to help doll her up. She stopped and panicked at a message on her phone.
"I have to, oh my gosh, go read a book or do rituals about love if you're feeling bubbly whatever. I need to go! He's outside!" Daha shuffles in and out the frame. I watch her take her purse, heels, and coat before kissing the camera goodbye.
She's probably in love. That girl can't fasten the pace when we go out, not even when I'm already in her house waiting in her room. Another subtlety about love I caught.
I got myself a can of beer and ordered spicy chicken wings online for dinner. When I entered my address it dawned to me once again how lucky the number on my address meant. It was the only factor I had loved about the house and sometimes the variety of lovely people who rents the bedroom downstairs.
!!!3 easy ways to grab a Valentine Date!!!
I was curious no matter how shitty that ad title under my chicken wings is. Now even my PC drops hints. Why did valentines day have to be around the corner again. There I clicked it just to be bombarded by hearts and ear-ripping upbeat music. The website puts my senses all over the place.
There was a lot of overly sweet and cutesy stuff before actually leading me to the list. In my third can of beer, I read it out loud.
1. Light 6 candles and place them on the floor as a circle big enough for you to sit at. Great job!
"Easy enough I have, don't have candles." I shrug it off and continue.
2. Get a small bowl and a knife or a safety pin. You can do that right?
"Of course, I can. Look at this website underestimating me." I scoff, lowering the volume since the music's beat got fast and so is my copycat of a heart.
I was about to read the last silly step when the doorbell rang. I rush to the door to greet my beloved chicken wings. I thanked the delivery guy, ready to chomp on the chef's masterpiece but the driver called me back.
"Hey kid, we have this small gift for you as our regular customer. You have a great night, okay!" he handed me a heart-shaped box which I wished was another set of chicken wings.
