Chapter 23

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Words floated in and out of her mind. Not her words no, not her thoughts. They came in half muted blurbs that she could vaguely make out.

"How is she?"

"Do we know who is behind this?"

"Bastards!"

"Call the healers again."

None of it mattered though, much less made much sense. She was a float in a sea of darkness, no stars or clouds accompanied her. Sometimes scents accompanied her while she floated, smells of wildfire or a shifting, strange yet familiar scent. But always she could smell pine and snow. That pine and snow never left her, it lingered, hovered sometimes paced but it was ever-present.

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She had a body. After drifting in blackness for who knows how long Della became aware of her body. She felt like an ember lived inside her, not a pleasant one that kept her warm but instead a dull reminder of the melting and burning that had come before it. It was dying though, slowly being smothered by a coolness that had started in her mouth that now seeped into the rest of her body. And where the heat gave way to coolness consciousness followed and with awareness came the ache. Her entire body ached; some parts more than others. Her ribs seemed particularly tender and as she became aware of her breathing she realized that deep breaths were not an option. She was limited to slow shallow breaths that rasped a bit in her throat.

She could hear another person breathing, slow and deep. She envied them a little. It was her father, his scent giving him away. Was he sleeping? It certainly sounded like it. She tried to crack her eyes to look at him and confirm he was sleeping. What would he look like sleeping? Did he scowl in his sleep? Why was he sleeping in her room?

Memories came crashing back at that thought. She'd been attacked. Was she even in her room? How long had she been out? What had happened to the others? Were they okay?

Doubling her efforts Della tried to move tried to sit up but could not. Just the thought of trying to move exhausted her and she could feel herself already starting to drift off again. The door scraped open and Della found it in herself to hold on for just a moment longer. Still she can't open her eyes to see who entered but Aelin spoke before Della could make out the scent.

"I didn't mean to wake you." She said.

"I didn't mean to sleep." Rowan responded.

"It's ok that you rest. You've been awake for nearly three days."

Rowan huffed a short, sharp breath. Not quite a scoff but close to it.

A beat of silence followed before Aelin asked "how is she? Has she awoken?"

Both clearly unaware that she was awake right now. Just too exhausted to try and signal them. She tried to flutter her eyes or wiggle her fingers, show them that she's okay and that they can relax.

Really she'd like to tell them how sorry she is for making them worry. For causing a scene and likely ruining the meeting with the merchants.

But despite the urgency she felt to apologize her body refused to corporate and in fact rebelled against her as darkness swept in again.

"We'll just have to wait. If you would like we can send for Yrene." Aelin was speaking again. She must've blacked out for a moment.

"No. By the time she gets here Della will have awoken." Rowan responded. His tone didn't quite match his words. They weren't as resolute as normal.

"Rowan," Aelin said so gently.

She heard her father take in a shuddering breath. Slightly muffled as if he was holding Aelin and had buried his face in the place her shoulder met her neck.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I can't keep anyone safe. Not you, not Lyria and now not even Della. Even within these castle walls even with armies I cannot protect you all." He took another trembling breath to keep the tears from spilling. "Aelin, I have failed in the greatest duty a male has. I-"

"Stop." Aelin interrupted. "this is not your fault. You're not responsible, the bastards in the dungeons are. And I will not allow you to hate yourself for others actions. Whether mine or Maeve's or anyone else's. Della is safe now-"

This time Rowan cut her off. "Look at her! Does she look safe? She can barely breathe! Her whole body is black and blue. Even with Fae healing, even with the healers her ribs are still in splinters. They crushed her throat from choking her so roughly." He stopped himself. His voice desperate a touch angry. Not with Aelin but himself. "Aelin you cannot tell me that she is safe. That I protected her." Rowan heaved a breath, calming himself. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you it's just..."

Della didn't get to hear the rest, she'd drifted off again unable to stop it.

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