„Maybe... too... already"

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„If you want me to have better access to satisfy you even better, I'd have to open your pants..", Niko eventually whispered. „But I don't know if you want that. There's no reason to be ashamed of because honestly, Sofia, your body is as beautiful as your character, but I can understand if you don't want more now.. Just tell me, okay?" I wanted to tell him I wanted more, I wanted to beg him to finally open my pants and make me his, but I couldn't. Whatever it exactly was that he triggered with his words, suddenly my mind was a lot louder than my heart and my body. Suddenly my whole body was tensed, I could only think that what we were doing was wrong.

I stopped massaging his member through his boxers and before I could say something, Niko had already withdrawn his hand from my pants. „Okay, hey, before you even try to apologize: Don't. Everything is fine, okay?", he looked at me seriously and reached for the blanket he had pushed away earlier and held it out for me. Thankfully, I covered myself with it, I had suddenly felt so uncomfortable without anything covering my body. Whatever it was, it felt as if I suddenly woke up from a wonderful daydream and had to face reality again. And with that, I felt uncomfortable, couldn't relax and definitely wasn't ready to do anything with Niko we had done just a few seconds before. I couldn't touch him anymore, I couldn't feel his touches anymore although they had made me feel so good before.

Completely ignoring his words, I started to apologize and explain myself while I was sitting up, wrapping my hands around my knees and covering my face in the blanket which was still covering the front part of my body. between them. „I.. I'm so sorry..", I stuttered and noticed how a tear started streaming down my face, „it's not your fault, there's nothing wrong with you, don't think you weren't good enough or.. I don't know. You made me feel incredibly good, you probably noticed yourself how my body reacted to your touches. But suddenly.. I.. suddenly something changed, as if a switch had been flipped and switched off.. I... My mind suddenly took over my body and.. I... I'm sorry, I gave you hope and made you horny and now I'm sitting here and crying, leaving you unsatisfied.." By now, I was sobbing, not able to calm down. „I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give you false hope", I apologized once again.

Before responding to what I had said, Niko quietly asked me „May I hug you? Or would that cause you to feel uncomfortable?" „No, it's okay", I whispered, „but let me get on a shirt before. Okay?" It wasn't only okay for me, there's nothing I needed more than to be hugged. I needed his comfort, being close go him, feeling that I at least didn't fuck up our friendship with this. „Here you are.. Is this okay?", Niko looked at me with a small smile on his face as he handed me the shirt he had worn only less than an hour before.

„Of course... But don't you want to wear it again?", I mumbled. „Of course I want to wear it... Because it smells like you and your hoodie always manages to calm me down, so this shirt will, too", I added in my mind but of course I didn't say that out loud, I didn't want to seem too weird. „No, it's okay. I'm not cold or anything.. But if you want me to wear something, I'll of course put the shirt on and give you one of your shirts!" Instead of responding, I quickly reached for the shirt and put it on. As soon as I had covered myself with the garment that of course was way too big for my rather slender body, I could feel Niko wrapping his arms around me tightly. „I'm so sorry...", I again whispered when I could sense Niko looking at me.

„Sofia, there is no reason to apologize. You did the best thing you could do in that situation, you listened to your feelings and stopped when you didn't feel comfortable anymore. This is a lot better than forcing yourself to do something you don't want to", Niko tried to calm me down but it didn't help at all. „No, I wanted to sleep with you!", I said loudly, „I really wanted. I've never been interested in sex and stuff connected to that but somehow today there was this urge to sleep with you.. But I...these thoughts...they were getting louder with every second.. and then.. when you.. when you wanted to open my pants.. they suddenly were so loud, I felt numb, as if these thoughts had drowned everything else I could sense", I tried to explain but was regularly interrupted by my sobbing.

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