Dear Zayn

Dear My Zayn,

Dear Zayn,

Honestly, I'm not completely sure what I should say to you, or if I should say anything. It hasn't completely registered in my mind yet that you're not apart of One Direction anymore.

I called Niall just a few minutes ago and he was talking through sniffles; he's pretty upset about you leaving. I almost started crying hearing him sniffle and the way his voice croaked from evidently crying.

They all have cried. All of their hearts are shattered; each of them think it's their fault. Hell, I've cried in bed the past three nights because I want you guys back. I want that loving family atmosphere back. I want my boyfriend back. I don't want the depressed person who lies in his bed for half the day, then goes to sing with some arrogant prick!

This morning my mom came over and asked how you were, but I couldn't give her a true answer. I told her I hadn't seen you in two weeks and I swear to god I saw tears well up in her eyes. Even my mom misses you! She loves you more than she loves me! You're the only reason she's trying to act like a mom!

You're the reason for everything. You're the reason I've tried so hard in Uni. You're the reason I smile. You're the reason I cry. You're the reason that in the summer I do without a tan on my ring finger. You're the reason I got Pinterest, so I could make a folder of beautiful wedding dresses and future wedding and house ideas. You're the reason I have a parent who wants to be in my life.

Without you, there's no reason for any of this.

Without you, there's no need for my smile.

Without you, there's no need for my laugh.

Without you, there's no reason for my Pinterest board.

Without you, there's no reason for these tears.

Without you, there's no reason for me.

I want you Zayn. I want you back. I want the love of my life back. I want my best friend back. I just want to see you. I just want to talk to you.

I just want my Zayn.

Love,

Diana.