Dear Zayn

Dear Sad Zayn,

Dear Zayn,

When you wake up alone do you feel sad? When one of One Directions songs come on the radio does it make you sad? Do your palms get sweaty and do tears well up in your eyes, or are you still the bad boy type?

Does it hurt you inside when you go to Nando's and you don't get to watch and listen to Niall order half the menu? Does it hurt when you see people who look similar to your best friends on the streets? Does it hurt reading the tweets of your disappointed fans? Does it hurt seeing your fans move on from you? Does it hurt knowing that there will be an empty spot on stage where you are supposed to stand? Does it hurt that your parts in all the songs will be sung by someone else? Does it hurt that there is a possibility that it destroys each of your former best friends to know you're gone?

Zayn, do you feel a thing, or are you numb? Does it make you feel better by running away? Is there guilt welling up inside you from the damage you have done? I always knew you were a bad boy at heart, but never would I have imagined you going this far.

Have all the good times been a lie? Were you always unhappy being in a group of rejects? Have you always felt like you were better than them all, or do you feel like you're not good enough at all?

Zayn, are you sad? Zayn, are you hurt? Zayn, have you taken up smoking again? Zayn, are you okay? Zayn, I miss seeing you at least pretending to be happy, but now I don't see you at all. I want to know if your heart hurts or are you happier now?

Love,

Diana.