Bungo Stray Dogs chatfic

Rashoumon

(There were two videos I wanted to put so here)

Double suicide: I'm bored

*Double suicide has added five people*

Doll: Hello?

Mori's child: Hi?

Russian rat: Seriously? This is what I wake up to?

Somehow normal: Why am I here?

Rip-off Laughing Jack: H€££ø? (Translation: Hello?)

Nobody likes me: Elise-Chan? Is that you?

Elise: Rintarou, you have the most accurate nickname I've ever seen

Hot doctor: Yes queen

Snacks: Pop off

Tea on rice: Dazai-San what did you do this time?

Demon jacket: Be nice weretiger

Tea on rice: Leave me alone you emo creep!

Mori's child: @Tea on rice I like you

Tea on rice: Thank you?

Nobody likes me: Elise-Chan, you aren't supposed to like the enemy!

Mori's child: I should be saying that to you

Doll: Do tell bestie 👀

Nobody likes me: Elise-Chan please don't

Mori's child: Him and Fukuzawa

Double suicide: 👀

Scary man: Mori, what is she speaking of?

Nobody likes me: Nothing. Nothing at all

Kimono girl: Atsushi

Tea on rice: Yeah Kyouka?

Kimono girl: I'm hungry. Can you buy me a crepe while you're out?

Snacks: I would feed her but I'm almost out of snacks

Kimono girl: Exactly

Doll: Shit.

22 and still short: Who the fuck taught my little sibling to cuss?!

Demon jacket: I'd say you but you don't say that word

Doll: My internet is cutting out in this dumb basement

Mori's child: On it bestie

Double suicide: I thought it would be more fun if we included other into the chat as well

22 and still short: So why the fuck isn't Kouyou in this chat then?

Double suicide: Because she wants me dead

22 and still short: Doesn't everyone?

Male simp: This chat sure is active today

Female simp: Yeah, definitely

Lemon boy: Good morning everyone!

Doll: I forgot what clean air is until now

Diablo simp: That's depressing

Mori's child: Rintarou, stop locking my friend in the basement or I'll never speak to you again

Nobody likes me: Alright Elise-Chan, anything you want

Hot doctor: Is anyone injured or needing a checkup? I'm bored

Double suicide: You could give @Demon jacket a checkup. His lungs probably need looked at

Demon jacket: Do you trust this? @Demon jacket's sibling

Demon jacket's sibling: No

Female simp: Aw it isn't that bad

Male simp: It's the worst!

Tea on rice: Dazai-San that's too harsh, even for Akutagawa. No offense Yosano-San

Hot doctor: None taken

Snacks: Only do it if you're a big fan of tremendous pain

Can't get a gf: Has anyone seen my notebook?

Tea on rice: I think I last saw it with Dazai-San

Double suicide: Don't worry Kunikida. I was just reading what you'd written about me

Can't get a gf: You'd better give it back before I kick you again

22 and still short: Get him Kunikida!

Doll: @Lemon boy @Kimono girl would you like to hang out with me and Elise?

Lemon boy: Sure! Are there any other kids who'd like to join too that anyone knows of?

Rip-off Laughing Jack: Açtu䣣y, Dos-Kun haß a k!d (Actually, Dos-Kun has a kid)

Somehow normal: I don't know if Fyodor would like you telling everyone that

Russian rat: I can ask him if he'd like to

Double suicide: Hey if he has a phone you should add him to the chat

Russian rat: I don't trust you around him in any way

Rip-off Laughing Jack: Øh çø?€ oñ Dos-Kun, *'m ßu=e it'££ b€ #i.€! (Oh come on Dos-Kun, I'm sure it'll be fine!)

Somehow normal: Can you please type in a readable way Nikolai?

Double suicide: Please Fyodor~

Russian rat: Fine, I'll give you a chance! But only one

Double suicide: Yay~!

*Russian rat has added one person*

*Double suicide has changed one name*

Tiny Russian rat: ....... Привет?

Russian rat: Karma you're translator isn't on

Tiny Russian rat: Oh, thanks dad

Double suicide: Dad? 👀

Rip-off Laughing Jack: I did say he was Dos-Kun's kid

Somehow normal: Finally!

Doll: Karma-Kun, would you like to play with us?

Mori's child: Yeah, we don't bite! Not without reason, anyway

Tiny Russian rat: Can I dad?

Russian rat: Yes, you may do so if you'd like. And if they hurt you I'll slowly disassemble their molecules

Doll: Yeah good luck with that

Kimono girl: Is that a yes then, Karma-Kun?

Tiny Russian rat- Hm.... Sure. You all seem nice enough

Lemon boy: Yay! Oh and by the way, do you like cows?

Tiny Russian rat- Cows?

Kimono girl- Moo.

Lemon boy: Yeah, those! Do you like them?

Tiny Russian rat: They're pretty.

Lemon boy: Yep, he'll fit in nicely!

(I'm so lazy rn so they all just logged off after that)

Author's Note:
I'm tired. I might take another 15 hour nap.

WC: 819