"How is my dad?" I ask as I take a bite of pizza.
"He seemed okay," Jin says through his own full mouth. "Your step mother actually seems to be taking care of him."
I roll my eyes. "She knows I'd happily commit murder if she hurt him."
"Do you have any kind of valuables there in that house?" Jin says in a careful tone. "I feel like I'm starting to get to know your step mother and I'm not sure I like the thought of your things being accessible to her."
"She already stole all of my money I'd saved up. That was the only valuable thing I had," I say, shrugging my shoulders. "I don't know how she's expecting me to pay for my dad's funeral now."
"We'll worry about that when that time comes," Jin says, placing his hand on my forearm across the table.
A knock sounds at the door, and Jin grins at me before standing up to answer it.
I hear the mumble of a familiar voice, and before I can even think clearly, my legs propel me out of the chair and into the man's arms.
"Jungkook," I say, his familiar scent wrapping around me as securely as his arms. "Hi."
"Hi," he says, squeezing me gently. "You've lost weight."
"I'm fine," I say as a habit. I clear my throat when I realize how easily that lie slipped out of my lips. "What's that?"
I point at the bag in Jungkook's hand.
"I know it's not Wednesday, but I figured you could use something to cheer you up," Jungkook grins as he pulls out a small cardboard box. "I made these for you. Only you. Jin can't have any."
"Rude," Jin says, crossing his arms across his chest.
I take the box from his hands and open the lid to be graced with the familiar scent of peanut butter.
"Peanut butter cookies," I say, nostalgia washing over me at the smell. "I guess peanut butter really is our thing."
"Always," he says, ruffling my hair before sitting down at the kitchen table and taking a bite out of my slice of pizza.
"Hey, I could be contagious, you idiot," I scold him, taking my pizza out of his hand.
"I have a strong immune system," Jungkook brags as he chews the food in his mouth. "I won't catch it."
"Here, eat a cookie instead of my pizza," I say, handing him a cookie.
"Nah, I'm good. I made those for you," Jungkook smiles as he pushes it back towards me. "I know you don't ever spoil yourself and I also know those are your favorite. Don't eat them all in one sitting though. You'll go into a coma."
All three of us laugh as Jin moves to sit back down at his place at the table.
"What is the plan for the rest of the day?" Jungkook asks as he grabs his own slice of pizza. "Do you feel well enough to go out or should we make a fort in the living room and have a movie night?"
"She's not leaving the house," Seokjin scolds as I take a bite out of a cookie. "She needs to relax and not walk around."
"Movie night it is!" Jungkook says, clapping his hands together as he shoves his last bite of pizza in his mouth. "We need every pillow and blanket you have in this house, Jin."
~
I lay on the couch while the two men are both sprawled on the floor snoring. They both insisted that I stay comfortable on the couch cocooned in blankets while Jin and Jungkook wrestled like children on the floor while movies played in the background.
I turn on my side and watch their sleeping faces, both so peaceful in their slumbers.
Do I ever look that peaceful when I sleep?
I can't help but smile at my two best friends and how hard they're trying to make my life even slightly better.
They'd always been this way with the way Jungkook brings me food and the way Jin always offers me a ride home. I guess when I fell ill, they decided to become more proactive in helping me and really took a big step into my life to pull me out of it.
They've saved me by doing this because I never would've done it myself. If it were up to me, I would be sleeping at my house in my childhood bed, wondering how I was going to stay on my feet for work tomorrow.
As much as I didn't want this, I know how badly I need this.
I'm going to run myself into the ground if I don't remember that I am a person too, and I deserve to be cared for.
I am very grateful for Jin and Jungkook for everything they've done for me and for everything they continue to do for me.
Things in this moment really aren't all that bad, considering I have them to get me through it.
Thinking of things I'm grateful for reminds me of Taehyung. Part of me finds it weird that I'm so thankful for someone who doesn't exist, but my mind must've had some kind of purpose when I first dreamed of him, and I've realized that he's there for me to talk to him without feeling guilty. I can tell him anything I want to without feeling like the world is listening, ready to throw me to the wolves for feeling the way I feel sometimes.
I glance at the darkest corner of the living room, remembering the split second that I thought I saw Taehyung in the room earlier. I have been thinking about it since I woke up, and I realize I was probably still half asleep and my dream carried into reality for just a moment.
I can't deny that seeing him outside of my dream, even if it was just for the shortest moment, was unnerving.
I know I'm sleep deprived and that's why all of this is happening to my body, and no amount of sleep in the world that I could get in these next few days could ever make up for the amount of sleep I've lost since my mother left me.
My eyes slowly flutter closed, feeling the exhaustion pulling me into a dream that is all too familiar.
