Provide my love (Zendaya/You)

~Chapter Eighteen~

Zendaya's POV
January 1, 2021

"3...2...1, HAPPY NEW YEARS!" My family and friends yelled as we all gathered to celebrate the new year. I released a low sigh as I went to the kitchen for some more cheesy bacon spinach dip. Hearing several footsteps made me stop in my tracks and I turned to see who was behind me. My best friends, Kehlani and Gabby.

"Z, are you okay?"

The said question lingering, am I okay? Frankly I don't know anymore, New years was supposed to be about a new beginning but, I just feel lost for some reason. Maybe it's what happened last year with Jacob. A tattooed hand waved in front of my face followed by her voice. "She's not okay, Gab," I shook my head, giving them a small smile. "I'm fine, Lani," I lied, I'm not alright. They both exchanged looks at each other for a moment and then looked back at me.

"Zen, you're a terrible liar. What wrong, girl?" Gabby said in a serious tone. I rolled my eyes. The one thing about Lani and Gabby is that they know me better than my family does. I love them but I don't feel like talking about it right now or ever; and when I'm ready to talk it'll be too late. After the battle in my head, I tuned in on the conversation,

"Wonder what's up with Zen? She wasn't excited for the new year or anything." I heard Gabby say to the light skinned woman, who was eating some chips and salsa. "I know, Gabs. We just got to give her time, that's all." Lani said and that was my cue to say something to them.

*clears throat* "Lani. Gabby. I have to tell you something and I need your advice on it?" I nervously said looking at my nails.

"Go ahead, sis," Gabs and Lani both said at the same time, causing me to look at them. Taking a deep breath to try and figure out how to ask the question that's been on my mind. Having enough time to myself and notice the silence in the room, I assumed they left the kitchen but I was wrong. 

"So, are you going to tell us or do we have to wait another 30 minutes?" Lani spoke to me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Yes I am, thanks for asking by the way. I've been thinking about how it's New Years and other things as well," I said unsure if I should tell them about my conflicted feelings. "Z, how long have we been friends? Cause you're lying to us," Lani says, adding tension to the conversation while Gabby looked at me. I didn't answer them because they know I was lying through my teeth and if I said another word, maybe they'll leave the conversation alone. I was right and they moved to talk about something else, leaving them in the kitchen. I made my way toward my old room in my parents house. The pink and purple walls were decorated in my favorite band/singers poster, my dancing trophies and medals were sat perfectly on the dresser. Walking toward the dresser, I noticed the picture of me, Lani, and Gabby dressed up in Powerpuff gear for Halloween. Maybe I should tell them, I mean they are my best friends and I need some advice on what I should do in this situation.

"Z, I wanted to say sorry for pushing you down in the kitchen. It was a bad friend move and I'm sorry," I heard Lani say in the doorway. I shuffled a laugh at her but covered it up with my hand, "Lani, why are you apologizing? You didn't upset me or anything," I said walking towards the brunette and embraced her hug.

"I don't know, really. I saw the look on your face before you came up here and I thought I said something out of pocket."

"No!" Came the short response from my mouth. We hugged for a couple more minutes and Gabby walked in the room with drinks. "I figured you guys were up here and probably in need of something to drink," The dark-skinned woman said, handing us the drinks and sitting down on the comfortable bed. Taking the first sip of the liquid that saturated the red solo cup, I hissed at the burning sensation that hit my throat. "W-what's in this Gabs?" I say after drinking the liquid.