The Way he loves me - (BOOK 4)

Chapter 42 - Lunch at the beach

Amanda James

Roni and I ended up eating our food near by the beach, we're eating in her car which parked in front of the beach. The sound of the waves, birds are very relaxing. We enjoyed our food in silent while watching the waves hitting the sand, and the bright blue sky upon us.

I look at her who's sitting next to me, she looks like she enjoys life very much and that's very good of her, after knowing what she had been through it must be hard for her to get back up again.

"Hey," I broke the silence.

"Thanks for taking me there," I said to her.

"I know it must be hard for you to get back in there," I said then she looks at me with a smile,

"Your welcome,"

"I just wanted to help," she said before her eyes looking back to the beach.

"Do you think I'm too selfish for not wanting the meds?" I asked her then she slowly shaking her head.

"No..," she said.

"No?" I asked then her eyes finally look up at me.

"When my mom got diagnosed, there were several treatments for her,"

"But still there's so little percentages for her to live, 1 year with treatments 6 months without,"

"My dad and I wanted her to get the best treatment for her,"

"But we didn't realize that we only put our ego first before understanding what she really wanted," Roni said to me,

"You know, we want her to live, we want her to be with us,"

"We don't want her to go,"

"Because we both thought that we couldn't handle the pain when she's not around anymore," she said.

"But because of the panic and the feeling of scared of loosing her, we forgot that she's also a human being," she said.

"We really wanted her to take the treatment,"

"So she took the treatments," Roni said.

"For us," Roni looks at me before her eyes look away.

"We didn't know if she really wanted it or not,"

"She lived longer than 6 months because of the treatment, but we still loose her,"

"If I can turn back time I would ask her if she really want it or not, because going through the treatment wasn't easy," she said then I nodded.

"So I understand, just do what you feel is the best for you," Roni said then I nodded.

"You've talked about your mom, how about you?" I ask.

"Me?" She sounds confuse.

"Yeah, you? How were you feeling," I asked.

"I was.., scared,"

"I thought it was just not fair,"

"A divorce might be better than loosing a parent because of death? I don't know," she shook her head.

"I should've not said that," Roni shook her head.

"I'm sorry I forgot you, your parents," Roni said.

"No it's fine," I chuckle.

"I was just sad, I didn't know what to do, it's just it ruined me so much," Roni said and I started to think about my mom, and Evan. This might be the feelings they're having right now, I should've not pushing them away for taking care of me. I should've realized that it's going to be hard for them too.