Hell Above

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Hermione's nightmares kept her up most of the night. Sometimes she'd wake up screaming. She would look over at Draco who was still sound asleep. That was the thing about him. Once he was in a deep sleep, hardly anything could wake him up. Besides his own nightmares of course.

Hermione decided to stay awake. She couldn't stand to see herself kill Harry one more time. Even though it brought her a small amount of pleasure, she knew something was wrong with the way she was feeling.

She ran a hot shower and attempted to wash all the product out of her hair. She couldn't wait to feel clean again. She tried to avoid looking at her mark as she washed her body but she couldn't help it. It was so large and dark compared to her previous scar. She traced the fresh wound with her finger and started to cry. She thought about her younger self. Sixteen year old Hermione would never believe what she was doing now. She would be appalled. She wondered why she didn't feel that way now. She just accepted everything that was happening to her. It was like her brain switched as soon as Lucius performed the detox. It was like she had no pure thoughts left.

She couldn't help but crumble to the shower floor. She curled up into a ball and sobbed. The hot water scorched her back but she didn't have the energy to move or turn it colder. She just sat there shaking. Usually she would drink a whole bottle to herself when she felt this way but the thought of it made her ill. She couldn't think of any other way to numb the pain. She was hopeless.

When the hot water ran out she finally pulled herself together. She dried off and changed into some baggy clothes. She couldn't stand to look at any part of her body right now. After that she went on with her day mindlessly.

This became her routine for the next few days. Wake up in the middle of the night, cry in the shower, waste away the day. She made sure to take a shower if she was going to break down. She couldn't let Draco see her weak or make him think she regretted it. She couldn't regret it. If she regretted it, she would be dead. Sometimes she thought maybe she'd be better off.

Draco still remained sweet to her. He was always making sure she was okay. She lied. It was easier to pretend. She tried to read books and practice spells but her brain was so foggy lately it hurt to even try.

One morning Draco woke her up. She was amazed that she actually slept through the night.

"Happy birthday love."

Was it the nineteenth already? She rubbed her eyes.

"How did you know it was my birthday?"

"I didn't know until you restored my memory. You must've told me. Anyway, we're going out tonight. You deserve something special after everything you've been through."

She was ready for a night out of the house. Until her ceremony, she was only allowed outside to the garden. They were worried she might escape and tell Harry. She couldn't wait to see London again. It's been far too long.

When the evening rolled around, she got herself ready. She looked through her wardrobe. She realized she would have to get rid of a lot of her short sleeves now that she would have to hide her mark in public. She picked out a black silk dress with a slit on the thigh. She wore a black jacket over it and paired it with some leather boots. She threw her hair up into a messy bun and applied her makeup. Taking the time to make herself look good made her feel better. She never thought she was ugly before but those thoughts were becoming more and more extreme as of lately.

She met Draco at the end of the staircase. He was holding a bouquet of red roses. He smiled as she walked down and took him by the arm. They apparated in front of this gorgeous restaurant. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten out. She got butterflies as Draco held the door for her.

They talked for ages over appetizers and their entrees. For a second she had forgotten about all the mayhem and got lost in his eyes all over again. This was the first time in weeks that she felt genuinely happy. The waitress took their plates and Draco got a little more serious.

"Honestly, being with you has been the most wild, intriguing, and intense time of my life. And that's saying a lot. There's something about you that I can't put my finger on." He played with his fork as he rambled. He looked nervous. "If we were thirteen again I'd be calling you a mudblood and pushing you down in the hallway." He laughed. Hermione didn't know where he was going with this, but she continued to listen. "Everything is different now and I've been thinking. Well, I've been looking at houses on the coast. I know how much you love the beach and..." Draco couldn't put a full sentence together. He was blushing hard as he tried to come up with words.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Goddamnit" he muttered under his breath. "I'm trying to ask you to marry me."

"Are you serious?" Hermione was good at reading people and even she didn't expect this from him.

"I mean you're kinda tied to my family for life now. And I fucking love you so why not?" Hermione never pictured herself with him like that before. Mostly because she was distracted with everything else going on. She thought it was a little sudden but she's done crazier things so fuck it. Draco sweated as he waited impatiently for her answer.

"It would be an honor." She laughed. When she was younger, she never pictured herself marrying anyone. She was more focused on her future career. It baffled her how much plans changed.

As they walked out of the restaurant Draco handed her something.

"I would've given it to you sooner if I didn't fuck my speech up." Hermione was holding a small maroon box. She opened it and found a silver ring with a small emerald rhinestone on top. The ring was slightly wavy. The closer she looked, she realized the ring itself was a snake with engraved scales. She put it on and the snake wrapped itself around her finger. She has never seen anything more beautiful in her life.

"Wow..." she was lost for words.