Tom Holland : My big break

Chapter 14

I didn't take my eyes off him. His frozen stature just stood there. He didn't move. He didn't flinch. He didn't even shiver. He just stood there looking off into the distance - The streetlights glimmering on the main street highlighted his face structure slightly. The only action he made was moving his eyes in the direction of his clenched fist that holds the small bag.

I stand there starting to shiver as the wind picks up... or, or from shock, either way I felt cold to the core. Tears were still flying down my face thick and fast. I tried to compose myself. Wiping my face noticing there was black all over my hands, a mixture of dirt from being sat on a alleyway floor and mascara that must have been clinging onto my eyelashes for dear life. Katies dress was also filfy. How was I going to explain that one?

"Tom?" You started to speak softly... but he still stood there as if he were a statue!

"Tom? ... Tom?" You started to get frustrated even though you knew that wasn't probably the right approach to take.

"FOR FUCK SAKE TOM!" You shout, placing your hand on the rough dusty wall next to you.

"WHO WAS THAT MAN? What's in the packet? ... is this what has been going on with you?  FUCK! ... Fuck Tom. Do you know what position this puts me in with the producers and Max?" You went through a range of shouting to blubbering... not even making sure if your words were making sense because Tom has still not responded.

Your eyes hurt from crying and your brain literally felt like mush. You ran over to Tom without even a second thought. You put your hands on his hard chest with a bit of force, making him sway slightly.

"TOM! Talk to me?"

As soon as you made contact with him, he grabbed your wrists off his chest and shoved them off him.

"Leave it Y/N" He responded angrily.

"I'm not doing that Tom" You sighed. Tom ran his hands through his waxy hair, and he turned around to face the dimly lit wall. His eyes continuing to dart side to side. He let out a roar. Pure frustration taking over his body as he slowly pulls his fist back to his side... every muscle contracting in his body. He hit the wall with his curled fist.

You stumbled backwards and started to turn away and walk fast. You had to get him help... or Harrison at least... he will know what to do in this situation.

"Where are you going?" He bellowed. He then strides after you.

"I'm going to get Harrison" which you instantly realise was a mistake as you mumbled to him your intentions.

"No your bloody not" He hisses, grabbing your hand harshly on the wrist pulling you back, spinning you towards him. He noticeably softens his grip once you are facing him and look down to your wrist making a tight facial expression – his intention not to harm you.

He started to vent.

"Y/N, you can't tell Harrison. He will just flip out again and I'm already a burden. You can't tell anyone about this, look it was a mistake. Honest. Stupid mistake... it was a problem I had half a year ago... I swear to you I just wanted some fun this time. It's nothing serious at all like last time. I pro.."

"BULLSHIT! What made you want to take it again Tom? There must have been a trigger?"

"Honestly, no trigger. It's not like that But god help me, please don't tell anyone about this."

"What was the trigger, Tom?" You push. Pleading. Cloudy eyes looking up at him with blurred vision. "Do you know what position this puts me in with the production?"

"SKREW THE PRODUCTION Y/N. Why did you jump up and show your face like that? You don't understand how dangerous some of these guys are? And if they think you are my girlfriend not an assistant it makes you a target if anything goes wrong, and you didn't correct them either ... what was that about?"

"REALLY?" You feel your blood boil "That's what you are most concerned about? Your image Gosh Tom Holland is dating his assistant... I can see the headlines now. Of course, that's all you care about you bastard."

You go to turn away and walk back to the club again. You feel his warm touch on your cold, exposed shoulders. He Gentilly but affirmatively grabs hold of you and places your back against the wall. You find yourself in a similar position as the trailer. His hands outstretched and placed against the wall, his cologne lingers in the air, along with the pungent smell of alcohol and bin bags.

"If you knew me... you'd know fine well I'm not like that. But I only have myself to blame for your opinions of me, I know. But no... I'm serious Y/N. Guys like that are so dangerous. I was with them for a small while and I know what damage they can do."

"Then why did you go back Tom?"

His hand hit the wall again in frustration. Blood now secreting down the palm of his busted hand as well as his torched looking knuckles. He dropped his head allowing it to swing low. He then looked up at me and I noticed tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"I don't know Y/N. I don't like myself when I'm on them. I went to rehab for a full month for fuck's sake! It was a task keeping that away from getting out in the wrong hands... Max gave me a lifeline with the series... only because he knew and understood what I was going through."

"Still, that doesn't explain why you did it again? And why you were about to do it again - may I add." Still pushing until I got a real answer.

"My ex is here." His words dribbling out of his mouth as he looks so ashamed. "The breakup was bad, and I got involved with some guys who weren't good for me... I, I couldn't help but feel shit when I saw her and called the dealer back up. It was certainly a moment of weakness."

His honesty shocked me. I looked at him and I felt sorry for him. I still didn't understand why this was such a big secret from me, it made me question if he trusted me?

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? And I don't mean when we first met... I meant in the last couple of weeks when we were getting along?"

"Honestly... I don't trust many people and like I said... if this information went into the wrong set of hands... my family, my career... over."

He stepped away rubbing his face with his hands. He looked broken. Maybe at the fact I'd found out, or maybe at the fact he genuinely messed up. But his last comment stuck with me...

"You know, I'd also like to think that you know me better ... to think that it even crossed your mind that I would spill such sensitive information like that... it hurts. You know where I've come from, and how hard I've worked... I also know how hard you work Tom." I sniffled as I had no more tears left to cry.

"Don't follow me, Tom!" I patted myself down and glanced at him as I started to pick myself up from the wall. Part of me didn't want to leave him there vulnerable. But I knew we weren't going to get anywhere right now. I walked away. Head banging, towards the hazy streetlights at the end of the alley.