Beautiful Lives and Tragic Endings

chapter seven

It's Christmas Eve. Contrary to belief, Christmas Eve is actually better than Christmas Day itself. All the magic of Christmas is in the night. Being excited for Santa to come, wearing new pyjamas, watching Christmas films, putting out the cookies and milk, then going to bed. I've found that Christmas Eve is the best time, and I wish I could be spending it with my family doing all of our traditions. I hope Albie loves Christmas Eve traditions as much as I did growing up.

Before leaving for my final night shift, I left some mince pies on the kitchen counter for Grayson that I picked up from the shops this morning. He loves them, unlike me. However, I think they're horrid. Why are they even called mince pies when they don't have actual mince in them? It's actually this weird fruit thing.

I barely slept when I got home, and it wasn't because I was excited for Christmas Eve. I was dreading going into work and possibly bumping into Sam. After yesterday's interaction, he has left my brain very, very scrambled. I think that he was maybe being nice to me? I can't even let myself think he was being nice to me without doubting his intentions. This man is the devil reincarnated, and he's here to make sure I have a miserable Christmas. At least we have the staff tonight, and I'm not running around like a headless chicken like last night. We have a lot fewer women on the ward tonight. Today's midwives on the day shift have done a thorough cleanout of people - no one wants to be in hospital on Christmas Eve unless it's vital. When it hit midnight, the other midwives and I all wished each other a Merry Christmas and hoped that we wouldn't see each other here again next year. I decided to go and visit my patients with a plate full of biscuits and wish them all a happy Christmas. The ones who were asleep, I decided not to wake. Sleep is vital when you're a new mother. The others that were awake appreciated the gesture and said that they were just happy to have had their Christmas miracle - their baby. I reached my last patient in room 10. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to get her baby to stop crying. I could see on her face the exhaustion and stress. "Merry Christmas! Here hunny, take a couple of biscuits." As I got closer, I could see that she had been crying. "Sweetheart, is everything okay?" I sit down beside her and place my hand on her shoulder while she is snuffling her nose.

"I just feel so tired. I want my family here, but they're all together celebrating, and I just wish I could be there."

I try to comfort her the best I can and how I know best. I don't know what it's like to have a baby, but I know what it is like to miss your family. "What you need is a good night's sleep, I bet you haven't been able to sleep for hours, you've been in labour, birthed out a baby, and you're running on fumes." She nods her head, too tired to say much more. "Here, let me get you a cup of tea. I'll leave those biscuits there, and if you want, I can take the baby for an hour while you get settled and go to sleep."

She snuffles her nose again before talking. "That would be amazing; thank you so much."

"It's okay. You get some rest." I take her baby girl from her arms and cradle her in mine. "I'm here to help you. If you need anything at all, just press the buzzer, and I'll come running." She gets comfy in bed as I bundle her baby in my arms, taking one of the ready-made bottles and walking to the midwives' station. The midwives invite me to take a 20-minute break with them to celebrate Christmas with a cup of tea. I declined and asked them to take in a tea for room 10. I sit at the desk cradling baby girl and give her the bottle. She's so calm and sweet now.

"Someone must've been hungry" That familiar deep voice comes out of nowhere. I look up to find Sam standing opposite me by the desk. His scrubs have changed colour. They are now forest green. It compliments his olive skin so well. He is wearing the same medical cap with teddy bears that he was wearing yesterday.

"I should get you a bell to wear," I tell him. His rosy lips rise a little with a smile.

"Why?" His eyebrow raises as he teases me for an answer. I can tell he likes playing games with me. His arms are tense, crossed over his wide torso.