When the Phoenix Rises

I'm okay

A few weeks had passed, and Hetty thought she was doing okay. Until she started having nightmares of the ordeal.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew that meant it was time to call Nate for a session.

Nate's office

'Well, it's been a few weeks. How are you doing?' He asked.

'Up until 2 nights ago, fine. Until I started dreaming of being beat up again. That's when I knew I had to call you.' Hetty replied.

'Well, let me just start off by saying that having bad dreams of a terrible ordeal is very normal. Any other problems that you're having?'

'Other then feeling like I have no more emotional walls anymore, none that I know of.'

'Well, it was a pretty harrowing experience from what I heard! Can you go into some depth of what it is you went through?' Nate asked.

Hetty sighed. 'It was terrible, all around. I wanted to kill every single person there, and I actually did. It was either by shooting or stabbing, and 1 very big explosion. A couple of stragglers actually caught up to me at some point, but I got rid of them.'

'So, a very bloody escape then. Did you actually want to do it?'

'It was the only way. They were not about to let me go peacefully. Did the ramifications of it start to hit me when the adrenaline rush eventually wore off? Yes. But I did what I had to do to survive, like everything else I've done in war time.'

'Hmm. Is it possible that this time feels a bit different is because you're tired of having to resort to violence?' Nate asked.

'I've always been tired of the violence, Nate! I don't show it often, but I've always been tired of it.' Hetty shouted.

'Okay okay, fair point. How have you been handling things in a positive way?'

'Well, Nell and Kensi invited me on a girls day out to go clothes shopping, I came along. I bought some things, mostly without trying them on because having to see my scars in the mirror, was a bit too triggering for me.'

'Did you enjoy the day?'

'Yes. It was very lovely to spend time with them. But I will admit, hearing them bring up things that they did over the holidays made me a bit sad.' Hetty responded.

'Because they got to have fun while you were in a cage?' Nate asked.

'Yes.'

'Well, that's normal to feel.'

When the session was over, Hetty went home.

Nate was worried. She was trying, but he got the sense that all of the team's love and support wouldn't be enough overtime.

He called Callen, and asked him if he knew where Granger was staying.