Delilah

Chapter 4

I pulled myself up gripping on to the banaster of the stairs. My face was streaming with tears. I bit my lip to try stop the whimpers as I got up but it didn't help because I'm still whimpering in pain. I quite physically crawled up the stairs still crying and crawled into my room locking the door behind me and continuously crawled into the bathroom. My back was burning.

I grabbed on to the sink and stood up. I slowly pulled my shirt over my head trying to avoid the slashes on my back. I turned my back to face the mirror and my gosh I wish I didn't. I had 4 fresh slashes on my back which most of them were bleeding, and looked pretty deep. How in the hell am I supposed to do this I'm no doctor.

Sighing I reached the top cabinet to get the first aid kit which made me yelp and whimper. It hurts so much. I unzipped the bag and pulled out a few bandages. I struggled because my hands are shakey. I couldnt even reach my back so I just bandaged the one on my arm that he unintendedly hit. 

I walked back into my room and threw on an oversized hoodie which again caused my back to burn. 3 more weeks. 3 more weeks then I can move out. I don't care where I go but I can't stay here. I'm not dealing with this again. I need to go back to work.

Ive been working in a diner and a bar for the past two years. The women who owns the diner is like another mom to me. Sarahs always been here for me and so she's let me have a few weeks off due to mom you know. As for the bar it's Shit. I wouldn't of got the job because I'm not 18 yet and I'm still in college but I leave college in less then a week and I turn 18 in three weeks so they gave it me a few months ago and said I just have to lie about my age. They were too desperate too turn me down because no one could put up with the guy that owns it he's a total dick. I hate it but I need the money so I can move out soon. It's always full of men. Their so desperate and practically beg every girl they see for a lap dance. On Fridays me and abbie dance on the stage for the extra money. Abbies always been there for me too. She was there when I joined. We're both good on the Poles but we'd never strip for anyone or give lap dances and Shit. That's for the strippers.

Me and mom have always said that I should move out when I'm 18 because it'd be like a fresh start for me and i wouldn't have to put up with Rick when he drinks. I wasn't planning on leaving her to take all the beatings so I wasnt going to but I guess now I should.

I looked up at the time and see that it's already 02:36am. I need to go to sleep but I don't know if I can with the pain I'm in. I took two pain killers not even bothering to wash them down with water, I'd be in more pain if I move. It must've took me a few hours but I drifted off too sleep.

*beep beep. Beep beep.*
I silenced my alarm and rolled over and jolted up hissing considering I rolled on my back completely forgetting about yesterdays beating. So stupid. 7:00am already and I feel like I've had no sleep again.

I got out of bed hesitantly and walked into the bathroom locking the door and turning on the shower. I slowly pulled my hoodie over my head avoiding my back and threw it to the other side off the room along with my sweatpants. Getting into the shower the water fell onto my back which made me whimper and even squeal. Fucking hell how am I hiding this.

I got out the shower and draped a towel over my head and one over my body and exited the bathroom and over too my wardrobe. Guess I'll be wearing a hoodie again and so I grabbed a pair of black ripped jeans, plain white oversized hoodie and my black converse.

I was blow drying my hair when someone opened my door. Rick. For gods sake.
"I'm going to work and I won't be back till about 10 so don't wait up for me ok."  He said. Oh my he's sober. Maybe these few days was a one off. Hopefully.
"Okay." I said. I don't even know if he heard me or not because he gave me one last look and just shut my door and went downstairs. *bang* and has now left slamming the front door. Mr don't fuck with me today is it. He's just dramatic. Yeah dramatic.

I ran down those stairs like Usain bloody bolt. Yes I'm late for college. I'm not bothered it's just I don't like walking into lessons when I'm late because everyone stares and triggers my anxiety so I'm like no thank you.

I'm finally here and am currently slowly walking through the parking lot. There's a few others out here actually so it makes me less worried. I walked into the hall and yeah their empty. I'm very late. I'm deciding to skip first period and mays well go and sit under the tree by the field and do my own thing.

I've been sat here reading for the past hour. Yeah I've come to conclusion that today isn't worth attending any lessons except English and maths which is second to last and last so I have ages. My back doesn't hurt as much but I know that if I brush it against something or someone touches me I am going to suffer.

I'm pretty sure the bells just gone meaning it's lunch but I didn't bring any food so will not be eating. Oh god. Dalia, Jake and Olly are currently walking up to me so me as always is just pretending that I haven't just acknowledged them. Dalia sat down in front off me whilst Jake and Olly sat beside me.

"Hey D" Jake and his idiotic self just fucking tapped my back. Is he in need of being punched because I swear to hell! I threw my head back and hissed due to the pain whilst clenching my fists trying to fight the reaction I'm causing.

"Are you okay?? What's wrong?" Dalia stood back up leaning over towards me giving me the most adorable concerned look ever. God I love when she's concerning, I sometimes forget that she's actually a really angry, short tempered girl.

"Nothing I'm fine" think think think think!!
" I fell in the shower yesterday so my backs sore" I looked down but I know they'll believe me.

"Sorry D I didn't know I'm sorry" oh god no don't feel bad it's not your fault.

"No it's okay your right you didn't know, it isn't your fault Jake don't worry" I run my hand down his arm to give him comfort. I know I wanted to kill him for touching me just but I'm right he didn't know it isn't his fault. Over all he's here being a friend, not wanting to make me to hurt.

He gave me a sympathetic look before ruffling my hair. Moron. Wait Olly hasn't said anything. Weird he always does.
"Hey Olly. How are you?" I turned around to face him completely so I'll be aware of his fidgeting if he lies.

"I'm alright Lilah. How are you?" He has also now turned around to face me completely. He's okay. He isn't lying and he's, he's Olly. God I've missed us all but the crap I'm going through, just seems to majorly affect my social life.

"What about you Dalia. How are you?" I now turned to face her and grabbed her hand so I can play with the ring. I've always done it when I'm speaking to her or with anyone really, if she's near I'll grab her hand and fidget with her rings. She never takes them off for the sake off me. It eases my anxiety a lot. It's another reason she's my best friend because she can deal with my anxiety.

"I'm okay Delilah. I've missed you." Her eyes started to get glossy causing mine to do the same. I pulled her in for a hug completely ignoring the pain that is rushing through my body from where her hand is resting on my back. She needs me. I need her too.

I don't know what happened but Jake and Olly somehow joined the hug and were now having a group hug whilst crying. I can't handle it when Jake and Olly get emotional because they never show it. And when they do they mean it. I mean Olly cries at films a lot but tries to hide it where as Jake doesn't at all. I know me not being here has affected us all but I just need to be distant sometimes you know. I'll always be here for them. Im now sobbing pretty loud along with hearing sniffles from which ever one of these.

"It's crazy how we've got 3 weeks and then we leave college" Jake whisper yelled. I mean why is he even whisper yelling when he was just crying. And what's with the dramatically throwing his hands in the air whilst saying that? Drama queen.

" I know I can't wait" Olly squealed causing us all too shriek. Freak. He's 18 and here he is squealing over leaving college. Yes I'm the second to youngest in our group. Jakes 18, Olly 18 then it goes me who's 17 and then Dalia. I'm not the oldest but at least I'm not the youngest either.