Delilah

Chapter 10

I woke up to the sun peaking through my blinds and blinding me. I rolled over to check the time but pain shot straight through my back. I don't think these lashes are getting any better but I can't go to the hospital because they'll ask questions. And questions means finding excuses. And finding excuses for lashes is hard for me unlike for bruises on my body or little cuts.

I slowly got out of bed trying not to cause anymore pain. I swallowed two pain killers without washing it down with water because Im in too much pain to waste more time.

I walked into my bathroom and pulled off my hoddie trying my best to avoid touching my back which failed majorly. I turned around to look in the mirror and most of them are still open wounds. Some look infected and I'm praying to God that they aren't because I can not go to the doctors.

Mom got most of the hits but when I got them she'd clean them up for me and disinfect them but she's not here to do that anymore. I must've been lost in thought because I didn't realise Rik was stood in my door way. I thought I locked the door. Guess not.

"I'm sorry delilah. I never meant to do that to you, you know what I'm like when I'm drunk but I'd never want to hurt you. I love you so much and would hate to lose you to. It's just so hard without her. So hard that I don't know how to cope." I could see it in his eyes that he means what he said but I just don't see those blue eyes I once loved. He let out a few tears but wiped them away in seconds letting out a sniffle.

He came over to me and grabbed my hands squeezing them but not tighter nough to hurt.

"I need you. We need to get through this together. I know I've done a lot to you but you can't leave me too. You just can't " he let go of my hands and walked out of the bathroom.

I know he meant it but I just can't believe it. He's sober right now but when will he ruin that and drink? Today? Tomorrow?? All I could feel was guilt. I know he needs me but I can't deal with these beatings. I need to get away from him. I love him and have always seen him as a father figure but after all he's done to me these past four weeks I just can't embrace his love or care anymore. He's never hurt me this bad and I know it'll only get worse. What would mom tell me to do? What would she do!

I looked in the mirror and my eyes met with those not so happy green eyes. All I saw was pain and surrow. Water started to sting the back of my eyes but I refused to let my tears fall.
I rinsed my face in cold water and got ready for college. I decided to drive to college today because my feet are killing from those stupid heels.

I pulled into the parking lot and didn't see much people which reassured me that I'm late. I would've been on time if I didn't have to try and bandage up my back.

I made my way to first period knowing I'm about to get all theses looked. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Majority of the class looked at me but some didn't. I saw an empty chair at the back of the class so I made my way to it. It didn't take me long to fall asleep but the sound of the Bell for second period woke me up. Or should I say made me jolt up in fear.

Ive decided to skip second period or maybe the rest of the day so here I am sat under the tree watching the guys play. Im keeping myself occupied by reading to take my mind of things.

I got to chapter seven of my book but was stopped by the sound of someone clearing there throat.
"I'm fine jake just leave me alone please" I sighed and looked up only to see it wasn't jake. Uh oh.

"Oh i-uh hi oaklee, I'm sorry I thought you were-"

"you thought I was jake it's fine" he laughed. His laugh is so angelic. I gave him half a smile and signalled for him to sit down. I began to fidget as there was no talking and I hate when it's silent it drives me insane but I love it too.

"So. How are you holding up d?" I turned to look at him but he was already looking at me. His eyes are an ocean blue colour and if you look closer, he's got specks of Hazel in them. Hes got brown curly hair, light freckles along his button nose. His nose has always been small but it's cute in a way. He's got light pink pumped lips that I've always admired. He's got a sharp jaw line that fits his face perfectly. He's always been beautiful but I've never seemed to look at him other then the boy I grew up with and loved as my brother.
I cleared my throat and went to talk but I faltered when he placed his hand on my shoulder giving me a reassuring look.

"I'm fine, I'm doing great. What about you?" I avoided looking in his eyes because I know I can't lie to save my life. Jake and olly are always lying for me when I get into Shit because I always stutter and never sound believable.

"You know it's okay if your not okay. It's understandable. Telling yourself and everyone around you that your okay isn't going to help the fact that you aren't. You'll just break and then you will be down lower then the lows you are at. Everyone needs to cry at times and let it out. If you hold it in for so long, and keep lying to yourself then your not helping anyone or yourself. Your making yourself worse because your not gonna get any better Delilah. You can't keep telling yourself your okay when your not. I'm here if you need to get things of your chest. We might of drifted.. Like a lot but I'll always care for you d."

He didn't break eye contact once. I thought I'd have something to say to defend myself but I didn't. For once I'm speechless. He's right I can't keep lying to myself but I can't handle it. I can't cope without her and it's just breaking me so much. We were so close as kids but when we came to college, we found new friends and there the complete opposite to each other. We hang around with complete different people and we stopped talking. We say an odd hello to each other when we collide but that's it.

I felt tears stinging the back of my eyes and I just don't have the energy to hold them back and so I didn't.

He pulled me onto his lap hushing me in such a gentle tone. He carressed circles on my back and brushed his hand through my hair in a rhythm. My back stung so bad but i didn't have the energy to push his hand away.

"I can't do it oaklee. I-i miss her so much and and I'm so fucking lost without her I can't I can't do this without her" I sobbed into his chest whilst he cradled me and held me so tight reassuring me that I'm gonna be okay.

"I miss her so much I just miss her so much and I need her so bad oaklee." For once in my life I've never been so thankful for talking about how I'm feeling. And I'm so thankful it was with oaklee. We drifted but I've never been able to not care. I always wonder how he's doing or how his family is. I've missed him and his comfort.

He held me close to him for about an hour. Giving me the comfort I need. I finally stopped crying and just snuggled my head into the crook of his neck thanking him repeatedly. He pulled me away to look at me.

He carressed my cheek with his thumb and wiped the remaining tears off of my face. He gave me a peck on the head causing me to let out a soft giggle.

"You know I would sit her all day with you because I've missed you d. " He gave me a sympathetic smile whilst playing with the ends of my hair.

"but?" I knew there was a but I just knew.

He let out a laugh and and giving me an amused look. "buttt, I have practice and I'm already ten minutes late " I could see that he really didn't want to leave me I could see it but the question in my head was am I seeing things!

"That's okay you can go I'll be fine." I knew I wouldn't but I don't want to make him miss practice for my needs.

He stood up and went to walk but stopped and turned to face me.

"I've missed you delilah"

"I've missed you too oaklee" he gave me a wink and smile making me laugh and started running towards the gym opposite the feild leaving me here. Alone. With my thoughts.