Kurtbastian One-Shots

The Greatest Star (Rated PG13)

Summary:

Kurt is not to thrilled about his upcoming milestone birthday. In fact, he's become downright morbid about it. Luckily, he has his husband around to remind him that no matter what, he's still the greatest star.

(Inspired by my own adventures on Overstock.com xD)

***

"So, how ya doin' registering for your birthday?" Sebastian asks, tagging on the epithet, "The big four-oh," (unnecessarily, in Kurt's opinion, since he'd rather not be reminded). He puts Kurt's mug of morning coffee on the coffee table for him while his husband peers at his laptop screen.

"Meh," Kurt says, flipping tabs to look at the actual list, slightly unimpressed by what's already on it, even though he selected those items. "This isn't as fun as I thought it was going to be."

"Where are you registering?" Sebastian asks, settling on a cushion beside him. "Please tell me it's a place that sells edible underwear."

"Ha-ha." Kurt reaches for his nonfat mocha, jonesing for a sip. He's been awake for a few hours already, but he's never actually awake until he has his first cup of coffee.

"Ooo, Overstock.com," Sebastian teases. "Tres thrifty chic. Your friends are going to love it."

"And that's why I chose it, of course," Kurt grumbles.

"Uh, Kurt" - Sebastian chuckles a little uncomfortably as he reads over his husband's shoulder - "did you for serious put a coffin on your birthday wish list?"

Kurt gulps down a bigger sip than planned, nodding his head. "I don't actually expect anyone to get it for me. I mean, it's way expensive."

"That wasn't really my concern, babe."

"I just saw it, I thought it looked...nice, so I put it on there." Kurt sees his husband's alarmed expression, and adds, "It's not my fault that they actually sell them. Plus, I am getting older, hence the birthday."

Sebastian nods, not necessarily in agreement, but as a place holder for an actual comment he can't think of at the moment. "I...didn't even know that Overstock.com sold coffins."

"Yup," Kurt says, going for a second sip. "And urns, too."

"Sexy." Sebastian slides closer to his husband, nuzzling his neck and pecking small kisses to his shoulder while he carefully considers how best to handle this situation. "You know, you're only turning forty. You're not going to die."

"I know that," Kurt says with a soft sigh, "but it never hurts to be prepared. I mean, I don't even have a will yet. I've never told you my wishes, what I want to happen after I die, if I want a DNR..."

"Forgive me," Sebastian cuts in, "but I'd rather not think of my sexy husband dying any time soon."

Kurt shrugs, but gently so as not to discourage his husband from continuing what he's doing. "Whether you like to think about it or not, it is going to happen."

"Right," Sebastian agrees, "well, you can register for whatever you want, but I'm tellin' you right now, you won't need a casket when you die."

Kurt looks up from his computer, mildly puzzled. "I won't?"

"Nope. Because I've got it all planned out."

"You do," Kurt says, crossing his arms and waiting for the punchline.

"Yup. I'll show you." Sebastian reaches over Kurt's leg, types an address into Kurt's browser, and hits enter.

Kurt furrows his brow at the website that comes up. "Heavenly Stars Fireworks?"

"A-ha." Sebastian slides behind his husband, legs spread on both sides to sit behind him. "You see, we have your body cremated, then this company takes your ashes and puts them into fireworks. Then, we'll plan a huge celebration, invite everyone we know that's still around, hire some A-list actors to confuse the gossip columnists, have the whole thing televised...it'll be fantastic."

Kurt reads the information on the home page, then looks over his shoulder, unsure what to say. Well, not completely unsure. "So, you think I'm going to die before you?"

"The way you worry about unimportant shit, most definitely." Kurt fires at him with an elbow. Sebastian scoots back to dodge it, but with the back of the couch mere inches away, Kurt manages to graze his belly. "But I thought about that, too. If I die first, my will stipulates that I get cremated, and my ashes are kept in holding till you die."

Kurt tilts his head, mired further in confusion. "And why's that?"

"This way we can both become fireworks, and they can shoot us off together."

"But not if I die first?"

"Only because I want to personally ensure that you get the send-off you deserve."

Kurt prepares to launch into a tirade of that's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard, but the sincerity in his husband's eyes stops him.

"I want to say this is the most romantic thing you've thought of," Kurt says instead, "but I'm kind of at odds with why you would want to do something like this."

"You've been in such a funk ever since we started planning your fortieth birthday party" - Sebastian wraps his arms around his husband's waist and hugs him – "Then your dad went to the hospital, and I sorta knew this would come up. Every time he gets sick, you get moody, and I'm not saying that I blame you." Kurt had bristled for a moment, but he unhinges, winding his arms over his husband's and squeezing. He's been on the edge of tears for days since his father's minor stroke. They flew out to Lima to be with him, and thank goodness he was fine, but it still weighed heavily on Kurt's shoulders. His father is getting on in years, faster, it seems, with each passing day. He doesn't bounce back as quickly as he used to. Selfishly, Kurt thought Sebastian hadn't noticed. "I know that you're afraid for your dad, but I also know that you're scared something's going to happen to you, too. That your heart's going to fail like your dad's did, or you're going to end up with cancer like your mom. You're afraid you won't get the chance to do everything on your bucket list while you're here. But even if you don't do everything, you're still a star, Kurt. The brightest star I know. And no one's putting Kurt Hummel in the ground when he belongs in the sky. Not while I'm around."

Kurt takes a sharp breath in, but he can't seem to let it go. If he does, those tears he's been fighting will start with no way for him to hold them back, and now, not just because of his dad, or his fears about his own health. But because of the thoughtfulness of the incredible man he married. A man who finds new ways to surprise Kurt just when he thinks he has him figured out.

But, in Kurt's defense, they've only been married a little less than twenty years. It would take a lifetime to unravel every mystery there is to know about Sebastian Smythe.

And Kurt is committed to that task.

"Thank you," Kurt says, breath still caught in his throat but managing to keep his eyes dry.

"You're welcome."

Kurt smiles slowly as his husband holds him, trying to find a way back from this sweet but somber moment, needing something that resembles normal. "So, you admit it."

"Admit what?"

"You have thought about me being dead."

"Not in the last few hours." Sebastian laughs. Kurt pulls back, appalled, but Sebastian drags him farther into his lap. "Kiss me, old man. We only have another fifty or sixty years left together, and I mean to make the most of it."

"You realize that means you expect me to live to be a hundred," Kurt points out, moving his laptop off to the side so that it doesn't get crushed during the impending make-out session.

"Less talky," Sebastian says, puckering his lips, "more kiss-y."