Kurtbastian One-Shots

Ferris Wheels and Other Romantic Crap (Rated PG13)

Summary:

Sebastian takes Kurt to a road side carnival for the ultimate romantic gesture - riding a Ferris Wheel. But when they get stopped at the very top, it doesn't go quite the way he plans...

***

"So...whadya think?" Sebastian asks as the Ferris Wheel comes to a rickety stop, their two-person, open-air seat positioned at the very top, swinging gently. Sebastian takes a deep breath of the crisp, night air, and sighs. "It's such a clear night. God! You can see for miles up here."

"Oh, yeah." A less-than-impressed Kurt wraps his arms around his torso and scoots as far back in his seat as he can. Not that there's much room. They're at a road side carnival, and this particular Ferris Wheel is as old-fashioned as they come. Aside from being the height of an average sky scraper, the thin, bucket seats are about the size of those found in an original Model T, with a single, flimsy bar, the thickness of a twist tie, locked down over their laps – the only thing saving them from plunging to the ground. The seats, attached at pivot points on the left and right, are fairly free swinging. "Delightful. Tell me again why we couldn't see the skyline from the comfort of an enclosed building? You know – someplace with central heating and a mini-bar?"

"Because this is rustic and old time-y, therefore, romantic." Sebastian tuts, as if burdened by Kurt's ignorance. "You're the big romantic, right? Isn't this old time-y crap what you prefer? Why you spend thousands of dollars on all that shabby chic bullshit?"

"That's kind of reductive," Kurt comments, "and a little insulting."

Sebastian slides as close to Kurt as he can and wraps an arm around his shoulders. "So, what do you think about making out at 500 feet?"

"Is that all it is?" Kurt laughs. "I thought for sure we were at least a thousand feet up, considering how thin the air is up here."

Sebastian chuckles. "Don't tell me you're afraid of heights."

"I'm not afraid of heights." Kurt huffs and looks straight down to prove his point when Sebastian's smile becomes too conceited. "But this Ferris Wheel seems as sturdy as an erector set, and I don't particularly feel like dying tonight. Not when my new show opens in three weeks."

"We're not going to die up here, Kurt."

"Says you." A wind blows hard around them. It doesn't move their seat, but it whips through Kurt's hair and sends a river of pure cold down his spine. "C-couldn't you have w-warned me to w-wear a thicker jacket? W-we're going to f-freeze our asses off up here, if w-we d-don't fall out of this d-death trap f-first."

"I wanted it to be a surprise. Besides, the point is to keep each other warm." Sebastian moves in on Kurt, and Kurt, teeth chattering, fingers going numb, weighs his available options. Make out with his lunatic boyfriend and add credence to this ridiculous idea, or stick to his guns, keep his distance, and become a Kurt-sicle.

Kurt rolls his eyes. Why are the odds always so obviously not in his favor?

"Oh, alright," he concedes, doing his best to sound like making out with his hot boyfriend won't be something he'll completely enjoy. He has to give the man some credit. His motives were slightly admirable, even if he did criticize Kurt's taste in home décor. "But only because my other choice is cryogenic in nature. Though, I have heard extreme cold is good for the skin."

"Well, thank you for throwing me a bone," Sebastian groans. "I'm glad that you chose me over death."

"Just...give me a sec." Kurt runs stiff fingers between his jacket and his jeans. "I think my pants are stuck on something." Kurt stands up carefully, dislodging the hem of his jacket from a loose bolt in the bench. He sits back down, causing the seat to sway more than before, giving both men a spectacular view of the asphalt hundreds of miles down.

"Uh, Kurt?" Sebastian's grabs the lap bar, hands locked, skin pulling white. "Can you, uh, maybe, not do that?"

"Not do what?" Kurt asks, crossing his legs, causing the car to dip again.

"That!" Sebastian gulps, pulling a tense hand from the rail and clamping it on Kurt's knee, trying to stop the rocking of the seat by keeping Kurt still. "Don't cross your legs, don't sit up, just...don't...move."

Kurt looks at Sebastian, frustrated and confused, watching as his boyfriend's face goes from sheet white to pea green. Sebastian even goes as far as to hold his breath in an attempt to keep them from tipping too far forward. Suddenly, Kurt's eyes light up, and he cackles so loudly, a couple in a seat down below looks up to see if something's wrong.

"Oh my God! You're scared of heights!"

"I-I'm not s-scared of heights," Sebastian says. "J-just like you said, I'm scared of p-plummeting to my d-death."

"Then why did you take us up in a Ferris Wheel!?"

"Because it doesn't look that high from the ground!"

"It's five hundred feet tall!" Kurt laughs in disbelief. "You're, what – six-foot-two?"

"What does that have to do with it?" Sebastian growls.

"This thing is almost a hundred times your height! That didn't seem high to you?"

"I didn't think of it that way!"

"Come on, Bas! You're smarter than this," Kurt jeers, causing more riders to look their way. "You go to Harvard!"

"I major in business, not engineering!" Sebastian argues, his voice cracking when a crosswind shakes their seat till the metal rattles. "Ten-year-olds ride this thing, Kurt! Why would I think it was scary?"

Kurt stops arguing when he notices just how hard Sebastian is gripping to their lap bar, how he has his eyes locked not on Kurt's eyes, but on his mouth, and not because he's longing to kiss him. But because he doesn't want to chance looking over Kurt's shoulder and seeing how far it is to the ground. On top of that, people in other seats have begun to talk and laugh, and that Kurt won't stand for. Or sit for. He can make fun of his boyfriend all he wants, but everyone else can go to hell.

"Hey!" Kurt calls over the side to one woman snickering and staring. "Don't you have something better to do? And you..." He turns on a teenaged boy making fainting gestures to the giggling girl next to him, "baseball cap and mini skirt. Mind your own damn business!" They're not his wittiest comebacks ever, some people find a need to retort, but it mostly does the trick. They return to their own lives, and eventually, so does the rest of the mob. The Ferris Wheel starts up. The seat lurches forward, and Kurt moves fast, sliding toward his nauseous-looking boyfriend and taking him in his arms.

"Just hold on to me," Kurt says, "but not too tight. I just got this jacket dry cleaned."

"You're such a romantic," Sebastian mutters, but the Ferris Wheel stops again with a jolt, the car swings, and he latches on to Kurt like a python.

"Yeah," Kurt says, kissing the top of Sebastian's head, running soothing fingers through his hair, "that's what I hear."