Wheel In The Sky | Castiel

Chapter Five: An Absence Of Light

There is no darkness, only the absence of light. At least that was what Amara thought after Dean Winchester had changed her. She had touched light when Dean gave her a kiss. He gave her a different perspective and point of view on the world and humans created by her brother, God.

Her brother could never easily explain why he created the creatures and the lands they claimed as home. She merely felt it was her brother's way of filling his ego and wanted more praise than he was getting long before Earth came about. He always had a droll and pompous way of wanting attention. All she ever asked for was to receive his love in return, but he ignored her cries. God had to ask for love and acceptance from his angels and everyone else.

Dean on the other hand showed Amara the world through compassion. And through that compassion, she was able to relate to everything her brother created. It's an extraordinary place of people, animals, and other living organisms that share common emotions and community. She was more than happy to share her own humanlike experiences with others as well. It was a shame her brother couldn't truly appreciate it all.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, Amara could now see the world as a dark pit and there's a magnet in her heart-tugging her closer to the deepest and darkest cavern. She was darkness, she kept reminding herself. There was no need to fear what she already is. Or maybe it wasn't fear?

Back at the bunker, Amara was in on a plan the Winchesters had to trap her brother and kill him. At least she tried to get her brother to change his mind about destroying his creation and would've saved him at the last minute. It had all been a setup for her too. Dean was going to send Lucifer's son to explode her in that room along with her brother.

She had heard of heartbreak and betrayal, and she had been experiencing it ever since she broke away from Jack in the Empty and caused it to break apart. Before becoming a part of her brother to make him stronger in those last minutes so he could get the both of them out of the trap she could identify herself feeling the utter shock of what Dean was doing. It wasn't enough to make her mad at the entire world, but she wanted someone to suffer her pain. She had loved Dean. But she guessed no good deed goes unpunished. All the people she loved would end up betraying her.

Amara found herself on a long stretch of an empty sidewalk in a park. It's nighttime with a dense fog consuming the air and can be seen better under the tall, white-lit lampposts. She could hear late-night car races in the distance and the tall pine trees covered the moon's light.

Her white dress and bare feet dragged on the ground as she couldn't properly fit into it. She'd walked a long way and ignored the sores and cuts at the bottom of her feet. She felt cold but didn't care. Amara came back as a baby again. She had been through three different families. All of which she took their souls so she could feed, get stronger, and grow older. Now she could pass for the age of ten.

There it goes again. Amara placed her arm over her stomach and squirmed. An uneasy feeling of sadness and tensing nerves trickled throughout her body. It happened every time she pictured Dean in her mind. Whether or not it was a happy or a terrible memory, she wanted it to stop! It hurt too bad.

There were no tears. She was too hell-bent on getting revenge.

Unfortunately, Dean as she found out from being inside of Jack had passed on and is in Heaven. There was nothing she could do about that. She wasn't going to hurt Sam. She had a soft spot for him. So, she turned to the only person Dean never knew existed. His own daughter.

God at one point when they made up and traveled together told her all about Courtney. She had to promise not to reveal this information ever to Dean. According to God, he didn't want a father and daughter plot in his stories. He didn't want Dean so happy. Whatever. There was also something he mentioned about the angel Castiel being the definitive guardian to Dean's daughter. Castiel would end up prioritizing her and only her. It would've messed up his story immeasurably. He needed them apart.