Lies of Silver, Heart of Gold ~§~ Bucky Barnes

-026-

Carina has tears sliding down her face as she walks out her front door. Bucky follows behind to try and stop her, but Nat stays behind, knowing that any attempt to thwart her would be futile.

"Rina!" Bucky calls after her. "Carina, come on, stop for a second."

"Bucky, stop, please," she begs, her voice breaking with every word. "I have to do this."

He catches up with her and grabs her arm, then swings her around to make her face him. "You do realize I don't have any of my memories right now because HYDRA probably erased all of them?" he reminds her, his voice breaking now as well. "How are they supposed to cope with the holes in their memories? Are you going to alter them or just remove them? Or are you just going to make them forget you entirely? Come on, think about what you're doing to them!"

Carina shudders and rests her head on his chest and sobs. She knows he's right, but she also knows she has to do this anyways. "I have to make them forget me," she whispers into his shirt. "I don't know if I can do this."

Bucky lets go of her arm and pulls her into a hug. "Hey, no. Listen. I know this is gonna be hard, but you're doing what you think you have to, and I know I can't discourage you, so I'm here for you. You can do it. I'll be right out here when you're ready."

She takes a deep breath and gently pushes herself off him and does her best to compose herself. Bucky takes her hand and strokes the back of it with his thumb as he looks in her tear-glossed eyes. "You can do this. Come on, I'll go with you to the door."

He tugs on her hand and they walk to the Parkers' front door together. She grabs their spare key and turns it in the doorknob. It unlocks and she turns it, hoping the door won't creak. She takes another deep breath and walks into Peter's room and nearly breaks down when she sees him asleep. She walks up to his bed and gently shakes his shoulder and gasps when he stirs.

"Parks?" she whispers, her voice still cracking. "I need you to wake up for a minute."

He sits up and rubs his eyes. "Riri? What are you doing here?" he asks. Before she can break down any further, she flicks a small spark of magic into his ear and whispers a simple command.

"I need you to forget who I am and go back to sleep, okay?"

Peter simply nods, his eyes glimmer with orange for a millisecond, and he lays back down and falls asleep. Carina wipes away any tears she has on her face as she leaves his room and goes to find May.

"May?" she whisper-calls. The woman comes into view from the kitchen, holding a glass of wine.

"Rina? What are you doing here, it's late."

"I needed to talk to you and your door was unlocked," she lies. "Loki and I got into a pretty big fight and he got sent away. I just need a hug from my friend."

May sets her glass down on the table and pulls Carina into a hug, and Carina does the same to her as she did to Peter only moments ago.

"I need you to forget about me," she whispers, her voice cracking with every other word. "When I leave, you're just going to go back to what you were doing, okay? Forget I was here, and forget I was in your life."

Carina backs out of the hug and walks out the door, where Bucky is still waiting.

"Did you do it?" he asks.

Carina nods and they walk back to the house, where Nat is waiting.

"Pack lightly, Rina," Nat instructs. "As of tomorrow, we're going underground."

~§~

-FOUR MONTHS LATER-

"Nat!" Carina calls. "Where are the tampons?"

"I don't know, I have no use for them!" she yells back. "Wasn't your period last week?"

"Yeah, but I just kicked Buck in the face practicing your move and now his nose is bleeding!"

Nat runs to the bathroom and sees Bucky holding a red tissue to his nose and Carina halfway in the cabinet and she can't help but laugh.

"At least your fighting skills are better," Nat jokes. "Can't you just magic his nosebleed away?"

"You know, I forgot I had that," Carina says sarcastically. "Gee, thanks." She hovers her hand in front of Bucky's face and lets her magic zap his nose for a second. He scrunches his nose and makes a face.

"Magic up my nose was not something I expected today," Bucky says, "but it's better than having a broken nose, I guess. Thanks."

Carina smiles at him. "Maybe we can continue the fighting later. Anyone want sandwiches?"

"Me!" Nat and Bucky call excitedly. The three of them laugh and walk to the kitchen together. Once they've had their laughs and finished their lunch, they all go outside and set up targets for Carina to practice her enhanced senses.

As she shoots pulse blasts at the surrounding targets, Bucky and Nat are sneaking around and trying to 'attack' her to help her reflexes. She hears Bucky's thoughts coming from her right and turns to send a hit towards him, but Nat blasts her from her left at the same time and knocks her on her side. They help her up. "Your reflexes are definitely improving, but you're still having trouble with two enemies at once. We can try again tomorrow," Nat sighs. "Until then, let's all rest up for a bit and maybe you can try to help Bucky with some more memory recovery and you can practice your Russian after dinner."

"Okay, mom," Carina jokes. Nat is amused, but doesn't comment and turns on the tv. "Come on, Buck, let's see what we can recover today."

The mini-team spends the next three hours on various activities. Bucky's memory has been improving over the past few months, and he is able to remember small pieces of his life before the train incident. Though he can't pinpoint his name, he does recognize that Steve was someone close to him back then and it's only a matter of time before the girls have to tell him about his best friend. Dinner comes and goes and Carina gets the Winter Soldier files out to practice her Russian. Though there isn't much left in there for her to translate, there is one page that she hasn't even bothered to glance at, even though the only Russian text on it is a string of individual words, not meant to make a coherent sentence.

Zhuh-lah-nyeh, she thinks. Желание. Nat's notes say it means 'longing'. Okay. One down, nine to go. Rzhahvyy. Ржаыи. 'Rusted'.

Carina practices the rest of the words in her head and starts pronouncing them under her breath as she goes to do the dishes. Eventually she zones out and Bucky walks in and she doesn't notice. When she turns around to put a plate in the cabinet, she finally sees that he's there and it startles her, causing her to drop and break it.

"Shit!" she exclaims. She picks up the larger pieces, slices her palm with one on accident, and looks back at him. "You scared me, Buck. Okay, ow."

Bucky stands there and doesn't react to her words. His eyes seem as if they're trying to pierce her soul as they search her face. "Готовы соьлюдатв (Ready to comply)," he says, almost as if he were responding to a command.

"What?" He never speaks to me in Russian, she recalls. "Nat! I need you for a second. Can you come in here?"

It takes a second, but Nat rounds the corner and enters the kitchen nonchalantly. "What is it? You broke a plate? Buck can help you clean it."

"It's not that. He just spoke to me in Russian and it's something I can't translate. Can you help me out?"

Nat nods and Carina plants a gold ribbon of magic in Bucky's ear. "Repeat what you said."

"Готовы соьлюдатв (Ready to comply)," he repeats, in the same tone as before. Nat looks at Carina and her facial expression makes it clear that she's both pissed and impressed.

"You activated him?!" she exclaims. "How?"

Carina's face whitens. "I did what now?"