Secrets

Chp. 5

Sciarra P.O.V

It was finally Thursday and I was thankful that the school week was almost over. This first week of school has been like my own personal hell. Hannah wouldn't stop the rude comments, I felt dead inside. It felt like God was finally punishing me for what happened in my past. Justin and Hannah were like their own gang. And I was the rival gang. Everyday it was the same thing with them. The whispers behind my back. Calling me a whore, a slut, a bitch, a cunt, the list went on and on. I would be better off dead.

I finished getting ready for hell, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill. Justin slept over again, and I knew that when I walk down those stairs, he'll be there. He's so different when he isn't around Hannah. Last night, he gave me a warm smile. He's confusing, too confusing. I pulled the box filled with our memories from underneath my bed, and opened it. My eyes stopped when I saw the one picture I never wanted to see again. I thought I threw it away. It was a picture of our last night together. It was just the sheets covering our naked bodies. Him kissing my forehead, me smiling.

I quickly pushed the box to the side, biting my lip down, so I wouldn't scream as the pain hit me. I didn't deserve this. Bree tells me to let go, but I can't. They all know why I can't let go. I can't forget him because he's everywhere. I just need him back in my life. I need the old Justin back. This isn't him. I can't lose him.

I slowly lifted my body from my bed, my knees shaking. I felt so weak. I looked into the mirror, sighing deeply. I was wearing a gray sweatshirt, black skinny jeans, and black TOMs. I managed to curl my hair and do my makeup. But this was all for show. To show people that I was "happy." When really, I was dying inside.

I checked my iPhone, seeing that it was almost six o'clock. I got up earlier than usual, I just couldn't see Justin. I walked down the stairs, carefully trying to not make any noise. I walked into the kitchen, flicking on the light. I was actually happy that Justin wasn't awake. It would've made my morning terrible. I opened up the fridge grabbing and apple and a water bottle.

"What are you doing up so early?" I froze, my heart dropping as I heard his sleepy voice, He sounded so much younger. I wish I could go back in time and enjoy our beautiful moments together again. "I have things I have to do." I told him, shutting the fridge door. "Like what?" He asked, walking towards me. "Not you." I said, smirking a bit.

"That's not what you used to say when we were dating." When we were dating. I coughed, ignoring the ache in my chest. "We had sex once and then you left." I reminded him, trying to hide the pain that so desperately wanted to show. "You loved every second of it." I did, but I wasn't going to admit it.

"Maybe I did or maybe I didn't. All I know now is that it was the biggest mistake of my life." My eyes widened as the words slipped out of my mouth. I saw the quick look of pain etched on his face before his lips curled into a grin. "Hannah fucks me better." My lungs gave out. And I felt the tears brim my eyes. I slammed the water bottle onto the table along with the apple. I quickly grabbed my keys, the tears already flowing down my cheeks "Cici I'm-" I shook my head.

"I should've never fallen in love with you. It was the worst mistake I have ever done. Have fun with your slut." I coldly said to him. I quickly walked out the door, not looking back.

I opened my car door quickly, slamming the door behind me. I sat in my car, just letting the tears fall. He couldn't of meant it. We made love, all they do is fuck. Oh god, please Justin please don't mean. I was falling apart. The tears at this point were uncontrollable. I took in a deep breathe. I jumped when I heard a door close. I saw Ryan and Justin walking towards Justin's car.

I took one last look at Justin, my soul was being ripped apart. I fell in love with him and I've never stopped loving him.

I arrived at school, seeing Brianna talking to two very familiar figures. I realized that it was my old best guy friend Alex and his girlfriend Jenna. I quickly re did my make up, covering my red cheeks and swollen eyes. I quickly got out of my car, grabbing my book bag. I quickly walked over towards Alex, happy to see my best friend again. "Alex!" I yelled out happily, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.