Winter's Weakness

Stay

It had been a couple of days since I'd given the Avengers a choice. No one seemed to want me here, and yet none of them had actively done anything to change it. So I was taking the decision out of their hands and into my own. One which wasn't sitting well with Bucky.

We were in his room, takeaway containers littered across the small table that sat off to the side. I hadn't ventured out too much since the day of their meeting, Bucky bringing me what I needed. I was still processing everything, but I knew I didn't have long until someone made a choice for me.
"I won't be far and I promise to stay off their radar."

For now.

Bucky stood leaning against the wall, chopsticks in his hand as he ate the noodles from the takeaway container. "You're not leaving."

I leant back in my chair, giving him my best innocent look. "I've done what I wanted, I took down every last scrap of Hydra." He knew that was a lie as much as I did. This wasn't the end of what I wanted to do, he knew that.

"I don't care. You're staying with me." He continued to jab the chopsticks into the container, not actually picking up any of the food. Just something to keep his hands occupied.

I placed my food down, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm not a hero Bucky, I never will be." He smirked as I called him Bucky, causing me to roll my eyes. A separate conversation that didn't need words.

"I don't give a shit if you're a hero or a villain doll. You're staying."

I stood up with a huff. "Why do you care?"

"Because I love you." The way he said it so casually caught me off guard. As if it was something I should already know. I wasn't someone who was loved, I'd made peace with that, but here he was trying to do it anyway. I could feel my walls going back into place.

***

Materialising a dagger out of nowhere Loki holds it towards me.
"Love is a dagger. It's a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It's beautiful until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it," I go to take it from him and it disappears. I let out a small puff of breath. "It isn't real."

***

Loki's words echo around my head, it was something we'd spoken about after Madripoor. When I'd confided in him about my inability to kill Bucky.

Bucky watched me, gauging my reaction to his words. I ran my hands through my hair, pacing around the room. "The problem is I still hate you." I mumbled, knowing he would've heard me clear as day.

He scoffed, not moving from his spot against the wall. "Yet you never pulled the trigger."

"That doesn't mean I've forgotten everything." I may have admitted to myself that I need him in my life. But forgiveness? I wasn't even close.

He placed his container down on the table shaking his head slightly. "Neither have I." He put his hand into his pocket, pulling something small out of it. "Remember this?" He threw the ring onto the table. I couldn't help but smile at at, it was a simple silver band with a small diamond sat on the top. My fake engagement ring. "Our last mission." I walked over to the table, leaning against it. "You kept it?"

"It was the only thing you left behind." He smiled at me, the stupid dimples in his cheeks lighting up his entire face. I could feel myself softening yet again and I couldn't let that happen. I pushed off the table and took a step back. "I appreciate you helping me, for getting me out of that cell, but this doesn't change things." I couldn't let it change things.

He sighed rolling his eyes at me. "I'm the last name on your list?"

"You and SHIELD. That's all I have left." I admitted being openly honest for the first time in days.